Summer Camp for high functioning, but troubled TWEEN.

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Hi,

I am in Fort Worth, Texas.

My awesome kid, age 11, boy, has hit puberty early (yes, shaving), and all the huge mood issues that go with it on TOP of his Aspergers traits. It is very hard for all of us.

I don't want him to spend the summer home, alone, or in a spare office at our office watching movies and/or playing video games all day. My husband and I are self employed but we both do need to work.

I would love to find a camp for him to go to this summer. He is very athletic, extremely bright, quite the outdoors man, but odd for sure. He has little tolerance for other's inadequacies and still is having trouble negotiating the social intricacies of life.

I started looking for camps for kids with PDD but they looked like they are for severely disabled kids. My kid is not like that and I think he would have little patience for it, really. When I mentioned regular camps he got very defensive and agreed only if we had a place for him to go IF they wouldn't yell at him, IF no one would touch him, IF he could call us to come pick him up.

When I asked if it would be OK for me to find a camp with "sensitive" kids like him and counselors who knew how to deal with them, he said "yes."

He is so high functioning, and a great deal of his issues appear in the emotional arena, I'm not ready to teach him to connect with the label of "Aspergers". I may be right. I may be wrong. No offense is meant to others with other choices. It is my instincts-at this moment-with this particular kiddo. We are all born with strengths and weaknesses. His has a name but he is no different from me or anyone else. We cope, get smarter, get stronger and develop those areas where we are weak.

OK, so... I go into ALL of that to ask... Does anyone know of a good summer camp experience for kids will Aspergers, especially very bright, cool kids who have more issues with impatience, intolerance and anger? Wow, is that a big order?

Gratitude in advance,
M's Mom

A small story. There is a guy here, about my age, that was probably on the lower functioning end when he was younger. His sister (older) went on to school and got high end degrees, as in PHD. She knew what he was and didn't tell him. He later joined the Marine Corps and got through it, excelled in the area he was in. Much later, like fairly recently he discovered about AS and self DXed and later confirmed it. He asked his sister why she never said anything, she said, so it didn't hold you back.

I would guess I'm higher functioning and did the military myself, not through choice though. We really do come in all shapes and sizes, no one mold fits us. I do think that some great advances in understanding is happening and much of it here. Better ways of discovery without the stigma can be done. When you decide he might need to know, well I suppose that is up to you. But, he will find out.

I sure wouldn't recommend the military for summer camp, but you know, there is a side to doing things you don't want to. You learn you can do it. I would still be protective of him at 11 and would choose wisely. I do wonder what Outward Bound has these days. It might not be time for such a thing, but like I said, I don't know the depth of their programs these days.

Self confidence is one of the best gifts you can give and there is only one way to learn it, you have to see you can do what you thought you couldn't. The pride/confidence you walk away with is a life time carry through. The gift to think is the other. I bet he has that one in spades. Unbeatable combination.


And welcome to WP

Hello, melhawk67. Oh how I remember the pre-pubescent Asperger's days with my oldest and youngest sons. I have 3 teenage boys, S is 17 and was diagnosed with AS April 2007. TA is 15 and is NT. He comes with his very own set of issues. TB is 14 and was diagnosed with AS in February 2007. I also have a 7 year old daughter who was recently diagnosed.

My kids all know what Asperger's is, and how it affects them as individuals. At the time they were diagnosed, we had reached a stage where knowing was helpful rather than detrimental. My youngest son was struggling in school and being labelled as a "weirdo" by classmates and "lazy" and a "liar" by his teachers. Learning there was an explanation for how he was helped him accept himself for who he is.

That being said, I am always thankful that I "didn't" know about Asperger's when my boys were younger. They were never treated differently than any other kids and I held the same expectations for them as I would any other child. I have an Early Childhood diploma. When challenges arose such as my youngest sons slow start at speaking, I met them head on. There have been occasions when I think that if I had known I wouldn't have been such a stickler for manners, respect for others and learning. My boys still believe that they can be and do whatever they choose because that is how they were taught. The word "can't" doesn't apply here unless it refers to a learning disability and then it is more likely to be "I can't do it the traditional way but I can figure it out a different way."

Postpaleo has a very valid point. I have had the opportunity to get to know him and the man he mentions in his post and they have my utmost admiration, as do many of the other older members. They knew they were different but didn't know why and made it in spite of those differences. My kids know of them as well. I use them as examples of what my children can accomplish.

I'm not sure of what camps there are in the States, but I do think it would be an excellent opportunity for your son to grow and learn to be independent of his parents in a safe, controlled environment. I always tell my kids, "You can call me if you need and I will be there." but they know they have to give new experiences a chance. And knowing that they have an out if things get unbearable seems to ease their tension and they rarely ever need to call.

Best of luck to you and your son,
Lauri

I've only read about this camp, but it looks like something you might want to look into for your son:

http://www.talismancamps.com/

It looks to be very outdoorsy.

Kris

well i went to really cool camp when i was 13,14,15,16,17,18 it is expensive but you can get financial aid for it as well and it's a 2 week camp each session and theres 3 sessions you can go to. hopefully your child is aware of boundries and such cause it's in the wilderness. i did make quite a bit of friends as well in it.

unalayee org

accredited summer camp for girls and boys ages 10 through 17.
though they do allow you to go to 18 if your interested.

Thank you all so much.

I have checked into all of your suggestions and many look good. If anyone else has a suggestion, please let me know!

I really appreciate everyone's perspectives about telling a child he has Aspergers, or not, or when.

After giving it some thought, I decided that I thought my son was ready for me to explain his differences and that there is a name to it. I recalled for him all the issues he has faced with anger and hospitalization, his differences in school, his issues with communication, the limited foods he will eat, how he hates to be touched, his sensitivity to sound, etc. I told him that it all had a name and that name was "Aspergers". I told him that there was nothing wrong or broken about him, that he was perfect just the way he is, but if he ever wondered what made him different, there was a name for it. I also told him that some people like the doctor and MHMR agree he has Aspergers and the school doesn't think so. So, it's a confusing diagnosis and not everyone agrees on what it means.

He looked at me very seriously and said, "I don't think I like that name. It has a bad word in it and then 'burgers'!" LOL.

Then he proceeded to tell me (very seriously) that he LIKED the way he was and he LIKED that he was different. He didn't care if some of the kids called him weird; he just says, "Yeah, so what?". He doesn't care if the girls tease him because he has trouble reading, writing and spelling because he's going to be a scientist and math and science are most important for that.

He was the most confident, comfortable kid I have ever met. I am so proud of him.

I don't think he really cares or minds about his diagnosis but now he knows. I'm glad I waited to tell him and I'm glad I finally did.

Thanks to you all for sharing your experience. As a parent, there just aren't any easy answers and the answers are always different depending on the individual kiddo. I had no idea this is where my simple "summer camp" question would lead. Go figure.

Good luck to your son and your whole family, and hugs and pawpats from all of my furry kids and me.

In a way, I feel fortunate that AS wasn't a known diagnosis when I was growing up. I think it would have only been used as an excuse by my school counselors and a few of my teachers to hold me back. Luckily, I didn't have any academic difficulties, but I was socially quite immature. I don't want a formal diagnosis because, at this point in my life, I think it could only hurt me.

I have an older son with definite undiagnosed Aspergers. Funny thing is that he is the opposite side of the coin as my younger son.

Older son (17): sensory seeking, fiddles everything to death, always in your space, inappropriate boundaries, carries on very long-winded one-sided conversations, teaches everyone all the time. Emotionally immature still with occasional temper tantrums. The true little professor. Never had peer friends until high school. Prefers adults to peers. Extremely uncoordinated and clumsy. Not officially diagnosed and we see no need. Loves reading and writing. We have been adamant about teaching him how to recognize social cues, how close to be near people, how to listen appropriately, etc. He is doing so well now and there is no reason for a diagnosis. He's fine.

Younger son (11): much closer to the PDDNOS. Sensory aversive, expressed echolalia as a very young child, can't hear, see, and think at the same time (has to turn off the music to see out the window - odd?) Doesn't like to be touched. Hates conversation. Grunts, growls and barks. Loves to have friends over but frequently loses friends over disagreements. Is just learning to carry on a give and take conversation with an adult. Hates reading and writing; loves math and science. Extremely coordinated with gross motor skills. Has a horrible time writing. He was officially diagnosed because of a violent melt down at school at age 8. We put him in a day hospital program expecting a diagnosis of some mood disorder only to be introduced to PDD. The diagnosis has been helpful in educating teachers and getting qualified for social services (which in the end are never available.)

The one thing an official diagnosis will do for you is disqualify you for health insurance, so, if you don't need it, you're probably better off just knowing what is going on with you and helping yourself.

Thanks for sharing.

I wasn't going to come back on this thread, I was reading, but didn't see a need. I still don't, but I will anyway.

I like you. Now that isn't an uncommon statement, but coming from me it is. I don't like anyone. Hell ask my friends here, they'll tell you.

"He's fine."

You said that and I wish every parent that came here could grasp that concept. Without that concept you're in for a really long hard road and you won't smell the coffee in the morning.

But you don't have your head up your ass either. You know there are hurdles both for you and yours. You see what it really is, no delusions. The system is a system and it's predictable. There are limited resources to be sure. Sometimes you need a gimmick and while on the surface that may seem like this is going to go into some kind of lie, it isn't. I'm officially DXed as Bipolar, I didn't do it and it isn't my first and this one too isn't entirely correct. But guess what, it works. For me to rock the boat would be sheer stupidity. I know the truth and that's all the matters. It is a system and you can make it work, just find the niche if and when it is needed. You didn't see this, I never wrote it.

"(has to turn off the music to see out the window - odd?)"

I thought all my life I multi-tasked. It was a very rude awakening to find out I don't. I'm still puzzling this concept out. My wife says I do not. I still think I do, I just can't prove it yet. The interruption of mind race is very annoying. (just like it can be as annoying when you can't turn it off)It can be impossible to pick up again where you left off. Writing can be a hassle for the very same reason. The hand won't go as fast as the brain. It is an interruption. I can get really annoyed when I'm lost in a train of thought and it gets busted. My wife doesn't invade my space unless it is really needed. Now that I understand this better, when she does bust it, it doesn't come out in some bad mannered behavior, errr sometimes. I learned about this here in a silly poll called do you multi-task, the rest just started to fall into place. Without my knowing I was an aspie, I would still be getting myself into trouble. Oh I still do, old habits die hard. And if there was ever a creature of habit, it's me. Well she thinks so, I don't, but I can't prove that yet either.

I hope you have the time to pay us a visit when and as often you can and not just in this section. You've got it together and we're all still learning and if they say they aren't, they've got more trouble than they know. Your kids are lucky and so are you.

I was about to reply to your post about how lucky your boys were to have you as a parent when I read Postpaleo's post. He likes you! OMG- that is high praise. I am picking myself up off the floor!

Anyway, your boys are lucky to have you for a parent.

If you want light relief or in depth discussion pay a visit to the ex-dino cafe in the 'Getting to know you" forum, especially if you want to meet the grumpy old Postpaleo again.

Try the Mt. Hood Kiwanis Camp. (I can't post the address not enough posts under my belt yet, sorry).

They have a few sessions in the summer that are strictly for autistic children. It's also the most affordable camp we've come accross.

we had good success with

http://www.jccpgh.org/JandR.asp