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Does anyone else have an Aspie that starts talking and cannot stop?

If so, how do I deal with it without going straight out of my mind? Since I have AS too, it's a massive overstimulation for me - yet I don't want to discourage my daughter from being open and talking.

HELP!

My guy can go on , and on, and on, and on....

I'm an aspie too, so sometimes I'll get him to read while I read. Sometimes I tell him it's time to go play. Other times I'll try and play a video game with him to get the talking to stop. Other times I'll go outside with him and kick a soccer ball with him...and I tell him it's NO talking time.

Sometimes I just tell him I'm off duty and Mummy needs some quiet time...and we'll talk later.

Just do it gently, with love and compassion...and then make some time to actually spend time with him.

I recently sent the Aspie Quiz link to a former coworker who once recounted to me in a single conversation, the ENTIRE story arc of Xena: Warrior Princess, from episode one, until it went off the air, without so much as stopping to take a breath. He scored almost as Aspie as I did.

The stepdaughter who first recognized the connection between me and AS can also get into those relentless nonstop monologues. Makes me wonder how often I do that and don't even realize it.

I do it myself sometimes, even though I try not to.

I do it to an extent and it's one of those factors (just one) that my husband is burnt out on me. I feel like I'm including him in on what I'm doing, like dialogue but it comes across more like a soliloquy and like I'm trying to force him to appreciate whatever nonsense I'm saying.

My son does it even worse. The best thing that works is to do something expressly with him (game, conversation) and then later go into another room for privacy. He barely contains himself but he is learning. I think if my husband had been more direct about it, "I'm going into this room and I don't want to hear about _____"then I would have been able to comply.

It becomes hard though because when you do bite your tongue, you feel like you're denying a part of yourself. I constantly felt like I wasn't talking when Husband still thought it was too much. That's the problem with telling a kid to be quiet. They may take it too personally and feel like you don't like them.

Another tactic is to be specific about the talking, instead of "be quiet", you can say, "lower your voice", "stop what you're doing if you want to talk" or say that you don't understand the subject they are talking about. This has been brought up under different topics here and one of the main problems we parents have is the blurry line between "announcing" when they are talking at you and "conversing" wanting to talk to you. Helping the child build conversation skills can really alleviate the non stop chatter when they can think about "why are they talking?"

My ploy is to say that my brain is tired or my ears hurt and I'm sorry, but please be quiet until I recover, all right?

Once my son starts talking about one of his special interest topics, there's no stopping him. I end up giving him a time limit when I've had enough, and once that has been reached I tell him that he has to finish, or he can continue thinking about it, but he has to talk to me about something else. This sort of works .

Temma

My 9 year old does this to I think this was one of the reasons he got the original ADHD dx.
I have mostly learnt to tune it out, but this is really hard to do in the car. I have to tell him to wait because I can't concentrate while Im driving.
When at home if it's getting to much I try to redirect, usually to the pc or his playstation, this usually works.
But you do need to tell them (well mine anyway) in a kind but direct manner that you can't take any more and your head and ears need a rest. J will then pace it off.

my daughter does this.alot of times, it doesn't matter if you're even listening to her-she'll talk to her toys, the dogs, the cats....just about anyone or anything.............she gets terribly upset and frustrated when we ask her to stop talking. haven't really found anything to decrease the talking.

I did this until I hit kindergarten....

definitely not suggesting you do this, but what made me stop was my kindergarten teacher naming me Ms. motermouth in front of the class, then telling my mother, and my mother calling me that for the rest of the year..... I still hate that teacher.

I literally stopped talking unless I needed something, started reading more, and only just started talking like a loon again recently,

now suggestions.... hmmmm... has anyone started literally teaching their kids what goes on during a conversation? like give and take, how long to stay on one subject, how long a conversation needs to last.... otherwise you guys are going to be redirecting for a while...

i've tried talking to daughter about conversation skills, but she just gets terribly frustrated & then whiny, and then come the tears......doesn't mean i don't keep trying, just some days it's not worth it

This is definitely me. I used to drive my mother insane - and I just thought I was "sharing" things with her. My ex used to say I take half an hour to tell a five-minute story. I just perceive so many "extraneous" details when I experience things - the light, the wind, smells, what people were wearing, how I was feeling, etc - that I feel the need to include all those details in my retelling, so that the listener can "more fully appreciate" the experience, too. Of course, most of this just sounds like useless detail and distraction to others. But for me, it's just as important to tell what the weather was like as who I was talking to, or something like that.



Yes. I feel terrible sometimes because we do lose our patience with him, especially in the mornings or in late evenings when everyone is tired (everyone but our son!), and sometimes I snap at him to be quiet. Husband and I were both called "motormouth" as kids, so we can relate - but we're also rather sensitive to noise (because we're also on the spectrum) and our son's monologues and screeching and baby talk really stress us out sometimes to the point where we're not always as kind as we'd like to be in retrospect.

I think my parents only survived my "mouth" because we lived in a big house and could get away from each other, and I spent a lot of time playing outside, in my room, or the basement. Also, my parents split up when I was young, so my dad was never around anyway.



Definitely. I don't want to be mean to our son, or tell him to "shut up." But it happens, sometimes. Everyone has their limits, and we are not perfect people, much as we love him and are often charmed by his personality. Funny that with my AS husband, he thinks I talk too much, but when he's had a couple of drinks, you can't shut him up for love or money. I see him do the exact same things he gets angry/annoyed at me for.



I try that when I'm in my calmer moments. Our son talks "at" people so often, it's very hard to tell sometimes when he's actually speaking TO me. Sometimes I'll hear him in another room and think he has someone in there with him, only to find that no, he's alone, but talking talking talking away to himself. Lately, he's been doing Bill Cosby stand-up routines from the seventies almost non-stop - but I did the exact same thing as a kid.

We are a family of FOUR and WE ALL DO THIS. For a while it was pandamonium because three of us have auditory oversensitivity/ sensory intgetration problems. We worked explicitly on taking turns. It took about a year for all of us to get it. But it is now helping! I explained explicitly that other people expect to be able to take a turn in conversation, and we developed hand signals to indicate when someone's turn was over. We also had the teacher do the hand signals too. This worked very well, as the signal was discreet enough that the rest of the class didn't notice it. Having the teacher reinforce the idea that other people need turns, too, helped. My son really admires her-- actually has a little crush on her-- so when SHE gave the signal, he paid attention!

My daughter has been working with a social skills coach for two years, and that has helped a lot too.

What worked for us was that I started teaching explicitly that each person has a right to talk. Therefore, we need to take turns.
We trained our kids to WATCH and LISTEN before talking. It took MONTHS AND MONTHS of daily teaching, over and over and over, to get them to WATCH to see if their potential communication partner is ready to listen--- to see if the person is looking in their direction, to watch to see if their mouth is moving (if they are talking) and to LISTEN to hear if they are listening to someone ELSE talk to them. Then they could speak to the potential communication partner. We trained them to say one or two sentences, and then reminded them to WAIT, WATCH and LISTEN for a response. We taught and taught about turn taking. It took A LONG TIME. We used every available moment to work on this skill, especially in the car and during meals. We also trained the teachers to use these cues. Additionally we developed a hand signal to use when they have talked too long, to get them to wrap it up. It has worked pretty well! It also helped that one of them became obsessed with magic tricks. One instructional video featured a magician who emphasized NOT BORING THE AUDIENCE WITH TOO MUCH PATTER. That helped a lot too. From time to time they monologue about special interests, but for the most part, a gentle reminder now helps.

I do remember, though, the days when I thought we would NEVER improve in this area. But the work paid off. Hope that helps.

I would be surprised if she “cannot stop” I suspect that she just does not know that socially she “should stop”.

Well it sound like your child’s school missed the communication portion of social skills/TOM curriculum that involves the skill of checking at certain periods of time to see if the recipient still show any sign of interest.

Time to send the school for some “professional development”

bookwormde

My 10 yo aspie does....

Luckily, he does not get offended when I say, "you have 2 more min before we need to change the topic" or "you have 2 more min till we switch to a dif activity."

I just redirect.