when did you know something was up?

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he is in a therapeutic day school. he is in a very small (8 kids) classroom in which other teachers come into to service ~ in other words, teachers come to his class to teach science, history etc. not all classrooms at his school are set up this way~ some classrooms are set up more like a traditional high school where students transition between classrooms. the school does not have ot or pt services, but he does get life skills and cbt ( cognitive behavior therapy) on a daily/weekly basis. upon graduation, they offer transition services and also work diligently to get students into furthering their educaiton. some students are eventually able to transition back to their "home district school", while others remain at the school throughout the rest of their schooling.

I was always told my son was a 'typical' boy. At the age of 4 he went to school and was excluded and was told that he wasn't ready for school. He went to another school and the headteacher knew that he was autistic, but because I didn't have a diagnosis, she couldn't help me. To cut a long story short, eventually he went to a special needs school and after 2 years was diagnosed. It was a great relief when we got that because we then knew it wasn't just us being paranoid. He is now in a mainstream school, with one to one support.

From the moment I was born my mom knew I was not going to be a normal child. I typically acted the opposite of a NT child. Grade school was roller coaster ride for me.

In the 1980's when this all took place, AS was unknown, no one could understand me.

I didn't realize anything was up until I was 20.

I was typical as a child, but nobody knew anything about it back then. I was the oldest child, so my mother thought it was great that I never cried *ever* when she put me down or left the room. It never occurred to anyone that I might be developing oddly until I was about 2 1/2 and suddenly went from complete silence to speaking in full sentences.

In school, I was labelled as "exceptionally intelligent" and "very lazy".

I was the victim of brutal bullying throughout school and was suicidal by the time I was about 13. I didn't really think "I'm different", as I was too busy thinking "I'm unhappy" to wonder why I was so unhappy. Like most kids, however, I kept my feelings completely hidden from my parents. They never knew how bad I felt until I was diagnosed with AS as an adult and started talking about it.

I can't say for my parents, but I can trace the events that led up to it...

In fourth grade, I read a letter (I'd often search for my name in the "Find" option) from my mom to the school. She was concerned how I was so preoccupied in helping the janitor up and so forth; basically, a whole spiel about social interaction issues, concerns.

Thje http://www.time.com/time/covers/1101020506/scautism.html "Secrets of Autism" issue came out, which featured a picture of an AS person. I read it with interest, found it especially fascinating about Temple Grandin, but otherwise treated it as a mere subject, like reading the other issues about, say AIDS or cancer (didn't affect me). I did notice that my mom was particularly interestd and even made a copy of the article.

In eighth grade I was stuck in a dumb social skills group that I didn't understand at all. The problem was probably because I had not been told, or yet diganosed, with Asperger's. It was like being told to get the food but not knowing why I had to do it or where it was.

Finally in ninth grade, I underwent testing from the Special Education person and was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. THis time, the social group was probably a lot more effecitve since I was aware.

I guess we were pretty lucky in how everything came about for us. We started speech at 20 months and that got the ball rolling. Our speach therapist clued us in to AS and we got our son tested on his recommendation. He was dx at 3 1/2 which enabled us to get him into a special integrated preschool where he gets speech, OT, lessons on social appropriateness, and social interaction to work on those skills.

I knew that my kid was different because he was weird in the same ways that I was weird. I didn't get dx'ed until he was 3 and we don't have a formal dx for him. He is either Asperger's or Autistic. When he was 2, I took him to his dr. and told him of his speech problems and poo issues. (He only said momma dada and love===and only on special occasions.) The dr. referred us to a audiologist, the audiologist referred us to a speech therapist, and the speech therapist referred us to our school district. He received speech until the early intervention program took him at 3. The early intervention program was hell for me, because I am paranoid about who does what with my kid. With his lack of verbal skills, I was constantly worried that someone would harm him and I would never know.

I digress, things are getting better. He has been completely potty trained (pooing in the potty was a terrible ordeal) for nearly one year now after MUCH work on my part. (If you are wondering, we never had a problem with the poo at school because---just like me---he can't poo in public.)
He has a huge vocabulary (some of which I wish he did NOT know) that he is continually adding to. He has been reading for 2 years now---maybe longer but that is when we caught on.
He is discovering humor (and telling us that we are "very gay"---a popular expression amongst the other kids at school and then laughing hysterically).
He is happy and thriving in school.

I did cry when we were first told that he was probably autistic. I did wonder if it was the flu shot I had the year before I got pregnant. I did wonder if it was his vaccinations. In the end, I decided to see a psychologist. After several visits he referred me to another psychologist in a larger city. When I met with this man, he told me what I already knew in my heart. I have Asperger's Syndrome. I have known my whole life that I was different and I was ill-treated because of it by most people (including my mother). I told myself that I will never punish my son for his oddities and I will never make him feel like a freak. He will never feel different from me.

I do not push for a formal dx as long as he is receiving wonderful care. I'm sure one will come to him whether we want it to or not. I do not mind the label; I mind what society does with that label.

*edited to protect my identity.

I didnt notice any differences in my son until I was fed up with the ADD diagnoses and realized that there must be something else wrong, none of the medications were working for him. I was surfing the web one day and came across a questionaire for aspergers, I didnt even know what aspergers was, but I love quizzes and filled it out for my son. After taking that, all his little quirks (he hates most foods, doesnt like schedule changes) were looking alot like Aspergers. I took the quiz to our pediatrician who told me I was nuts (not in those words). I checked out a few books and the more I learned the more I realized he was AS. I live in a small rural town and went to the state health department to hook me up with the right Doctors and got the official diagnoses this month.... The sensory Doctor opened my eyes, I had no idea so many things were bothering my son. (he is very calm and very quiet to the extreme). I also never realized that he wasnt looking in other peoples eyes because I've taught him since he was young to look into my eyes when he talks to me because I have a hard time hearing his quiet voice.

I'm seeing "tantrums" come up alot in these posts. Is this pretty typical for Aspie kids?

Story:

My son threw TERRIBLE tantrums, seemingly from birth. When he was around 2 years old, I was working at a daycare center where he also attended (in another classroom). I was crying one day to a co-worker about how bad the tantrums had gotten, and she (not really having had any experience with Luc) suggested to me that when he would start throwing one of his fits, I should just speak to him very quietly. Her theory was that in order to hear me he would have to quiet/settle down.

That afternoon, Luc started up and his teacher brought him into my classroom to get my help. Typically, I would restrain/hold him until he could get control of himself (which could be hours, at times). As the entire school began to gather around my classroom to watch (in horror!), this co-worker made her way into the room. She approached Luc, leaned in close to him and started speaking to him in almost a whisper. Luc pulled his arm free and took a full swing, slapping her right across the face! She turned around and walked out, and never tried to make another suggestion again.

not such a good idea to get anywhere near someone tantruming,eh?
my 14 year old son's tantrums can be quite something to see. he's very strong now, and can do quite a bit of damage. i've learned to pretty much stay out of his way~that's not to say that things are unsafe...just that when he's tantruming, he goes to his room and stays there until he's calmed down.