teen and sexuality

Post Reply New Topic

I think that is an over inflated statistic based on behaviours of a general population being used to extrapolate on known data.

After a bit of looking, pedophiles do have some behavioural traits common to autistic people... But pedophiles are not interested in children because they cannot have an adult relationship, they are interested in children because of what they represent, innocence, something they want, but cannot have, so they take the innocence from someone else. A little disturbing, but that is the words of a pedophile I once heard about, and from some things I have read online, that is the most common reasoning for some to participate in pedophilia. I cannot imagine an autisitc sharing that dream, as it is really perverse and on a black and white scale, it makes black look like white, and white look like God white. Most people who can't get someone their own age won't turn to children, but might turn to someone in their late teens (18, 19, 20), where it is not pedophilia. However, just because you cannot get someone your own age doesn't mean you are sexually attracted to human innocence. And that sexual attraction to human innocence is how pedophilia starts.

That figure of 30-40% is really shocking and I believe that Inca was told that by her doctor and truly empathize for Inca beacuse of what she is going through. But I have been looking and can't find any statistics like that on the internet. I wonder if your doctor was right Inca? I would really like to know because if that is accurate then there is a lot more than I even realized for me to be concerned about.

like I said, I did not want to offend anyone. I only repeated what I was told. Maybe he exaggerated to make a point but I only repeated what I was told. I have not had enough time since the indecent to do a whole lot of research as this is all new to me and my family. I only know what we are going through.

I would say it is very important for a teen to learn what is and isn't healthy about sex. And the statistic didn't offend me, I just took it as being a gross over estimation. My critical thinking class I am taking at university really makes me think about everything I read.

Well the reason I was into mature woman was because I simply didn't have sexual drive for my age group yet, but then again your son is older then I was, and at his age I was mostly into my own age group by then. I think maybe he might have trouble connecting with his age group, but I could be totally off.

I don't know rather the statistic is true or not, no form of information rather true or false offends me, unless it is stated as an opinion, or I know it as such. I'd ask them where they got it though out of pure curiosity. Seems like the kind of life most pedophiles live they wouldn't seek to get diagnosed.

Gay people have aids, aspies are predators... pointing fingers works best until you realize - catholic priests are touching boys and you got your aids from your straight girlfriend.

Nice one.

Proof?

I'm sorry but sometimes behaviourists talk without basis. They are also not particularly good at recording data (sometimes that categorically refuse to), as opposed functionalists for example who have standardised tests, not based on arbitrary checklist that are sometimes a decades old. Functionalist have the scientist-parishioner approach behaviourist don't. Behaviourist are about cherry picking, and projecting.

There are some criminologist that want to pin certain crimes on a pathology, but they are working backwards. So they are not concerned about law the abiding citizens.

Never ever take what someone says for granted. Ask for some evidence that is actually verifiable. People do try to get diagnosed with things when their are going to get sent down for things. How many diagnosed ASD are involved in sexual crimes.

If you have rocky relationship with your step son it is easy to believe anything you hear.

You aren't related to him biologically. The problem is primarily the invasion of privacy and not respecting your (and fathers) boundaries.

There is no evidence that sexual frustration alone makes you into a sexual predator. Sexual predators is they can be very enigmatic and calculated, where as your stepson makes a piss poor criminal.

It might be that he doesn’t have a sexual outlet. Finding older women attractive is not that unusual.

I actually have very good relationship with my stepson. I have taken him in and raised his as my own. There have been other disturbing behaviors over the years that have also but up red flags. I do not believe everything the doctors tell me but I put it in the back of my head for things to lookout for. My stepson has impulse control problems and obsessions. I am just trying to keep him out of trouble. If he were to do inappropriate sexual things in public he could quickly get the wrong label due to misunderstandings.

You're not slightly normal. Teenage boy wise huh?

He has no boundaries. There might be far more to this because he wasn't with you from birth to eight years of age. If the therapy doesn't help, he'll have to move out. I've offended people with that percentage too but from experience I "have" to believe this. I feel that this is very true. Not all people with AS are sex addicts but a lot are on the spectrum. The ones on the spectrum are more predictable and get caught far more often than the NT's because they think that no one notices them because people generally don't "notice" them. Plus, they don't have many friends to cover up for them. On this site, we just have to be careful how we word things. I've offended hundreds on this site but a fact is a fact and I have the wounds to prove it. You have to look out for yourself. You have been victimized by this minor with Asperger's disorder whether he sees you as a relative or not. If he were to go to a prostitute, is this prostitute not a person? Just because he doesn't "know" a person, does it make that person fair prey? Military training with ROTC might be his best bet if he responds to therapy or not. This is just my opinion. I'm a complete stranger. He needs to know that his actions are in fact criminal. This is NOT typical teenage behavior. Could he have been seduced by an older woman when he was young? He might be acting out a trauma to get better hold and control on the pain it caused him, possibly pain he didn't understand or knew how to express. What was the situation with his biological mother? Sometimes a parent will badmouth or throw a kid out because the kid actually turns "them" on. They don't want to go to jail so they blame the kid for misbehavior and other lies to cover up their own sickness. Sex addiction runs in families as well AS and sooo many other things. It can get soo twisted up but let a good psychologist try to sort it out. BUT PROTECT YOURSELF. YOU'RE NOT AN OBJECT!! Pornography and prostitution victimizes everybody but is a HUGH money maker. One more tool of the DEVIL to ruin mankind. It's a lot more than just setting boundaries for your son. There's far more to life than chokin' his chicken. There is a war going on. Life is very real...so is jail. Men not that much older than him are giving their lives for their country and he's chokin' his chicken and victimizing you. You're most likely his first target because you're most available. This calls for some serious work and "discipline". He needs to "GET A JOB"...not a handjob. This really makes me mad. Sorry. A diagnosis is no excuse for hurting people. Is a diagnosis a license to do whatever they want?
A person can really take advantage of their own diagnosis. Think about it: "I killed her but ya see I have Asperger's and shouldn't go to jail." Bull crap! "Oh, gee, my son does these things because he (in a whisper) has Asperger's, oh dear." What if rapes someone, what about the victims rights. "Well, honey, he didn't "really" rape you because he has Asperger's." GTFO of HERE.

Last edited by RightGalaxy on 06 Mar 2009, 9:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

I, as well, will say that this kind of fascination is actually more common than one would think. It's just that NT boys are more likely to cover their tracks than ASD boys.

I would also question the whole "30-40% of sexual predators are AS" thing. First of all, were they diagnosed in childhood, or were they only diagnosed as a defense in their trial? Using AS as an excuse is becoming more and more common, simply because the average person doesn't understand the difference between AS and psychopathy. They intentionally screen out lawyers and doctors from juries for that very reason. They don't want the jury to be more knowledgeable than the lawyers or expert witnesses. They want them to evaluate the case solely based on the prosecution and defenses' arguments. For someone who doesn't understand the clinical definition of the words "empathy" and "interpersonal skills", it's easy to blame any kind of undesireable behaviour on Asperger's.

Either way, taking the word of a psychologist that may or may not have a personal axe to grind is risky at best. It really shouldn't make you FEAR your stepson. It's unacceptable behaviour, no doubt. But, he's at the age where sexual urges are obviously there, and he needs to be shown more acceptable ways of dealing with them. I used to deal with some sexual frustration, because I never knew how to deal with it. My parents kind of denied that I was a sexual being until I was around 16, even though they weren't particularily strict.

*shakes head* More of this same garbage? I'm very thankful that you are getting your son help, and that your family is involved - but this sort of rubbish is not helping those affected by ASDs. Someone on the spectrum may touch innappropriately, and in all groups there are those whose behaviors run full deviant and may become predatory, but to make such a statement that a third to almost half of those who commit such crimes have AS? Perhaps it is the social skills and not an addiction that needs to be treated; I do hope that this course of treatment does help. Am I offended? Yes, and I don't particularly care that this is what your doctor said. I'm also curious by what standard these numbers are coming from - is this from the same school district where when a five year old placed his hand on his teacher's breast there was a complaint of inappropriate touching? Please understand, I am -not- in any way lessening the damage and hurt from rape or abuse, but that in today's society things that have been part of developmental processes are being criminalized. It's extremist behavior, and rather disappointing to see. Again, I hope you are successful in getting help and finding comfort... and I hope you take some time to learn more about the situation instead of sharing sensationalized statistics in the future. Not trying to be an arse here, but you've hit on rather a trigger point when expounding that this one condition is to blame instead of looking at the person as an individual.


M.

JUST BECAUSE A PERSON HAS A DEGREE IN PSYCHOLOGY,MEDICINE AND SO ON DOES NOT MAKE THEM RIGHT ALL THE TIME. Now with that out of the way I think this doctor has the intelligence of dung beetle and the common sense of a sociopathic killer. I have been to a lot of psychologist etc. in my life and it took me 20 years to find a psychologist that had any clue about what the hell they were talking about. Now listen the internet is a good source for information if you know how to verify that the facts are correct, which means just because you see it on the net doesn't make it fact. So go get a second opinion, and if you need to get a third, forth and fifth.

I am sorry if that seems harsh but you struck a nerve its not personal.

Anyways what your son is doing is normal, he is exploring his sexuality, he is discovering his body. Also remember our society is very repressed so teenagers feel that to be normal they need to be secretive about sex and their sexuality you cannot encourage that idea if you want answers. Now about the woman looking like you, perhaps you and that woman are his type right now and that is it or maybe its because he is sexually attracted to you neither is bad, because feelings are not actions.

As an update to my stepson, He is now in the legal system with 2 B felony charges and in my state at 14 can be charged as an adult. My worst fears has become a reality. He was in therapy before things escalated and none of the therapist saw this coming either. If an Aspie has a sexual urge and impulse control problems, boundry issues, they will go after the young. I hope and pray that none of you have to go thru this and that maybe my posts might give you some light as to what could be and head it off before acted on. We will continue to fight for my stepson and hope and pray for the best outcome.