INPUT PLEASE! Possible Asperger's.

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Hello all. I am the mother of a gorgeous 4 year old named Jackson. As of recently, his teachers and have developed concerns that Jackson may have Asperger's Syndrome. I have read extensively on it, and am skeptical because all the cases I read about seem more severe than Jackson. He has many of the signs, but not all. I want input from you other parents. What do you see in your own children, and what is your opinion on mine? I'll tell you all I can about him, and I'm aware that there are likely no doctors on here. Please just go off of your experiences and be honest.

Jackson has always been very particular about his clothes and food. He can't tolerate tags on his shirts, or tighter/elastic cuffs at the bottom of sweatshirts or sweatpants. Seams on socks are an issue, and he often wears them inside out to avoid the discomfort the seams cause him. He is an incredibly picky eater and won't eat anything that doesn't "feel right".

He is incredibly smart and his memory surpasses any I've ever seen. You can read him a book once and he can recite it back to you with little error. His verbal communication is exemplary, his grammar perfect, and his vocabulary unrivaled by any child I've seen up through the 4th or 5th grade.

He has "meltdowns" when he can't handle what's going on. Ex: At school today, he was sitting doing puzzles before the other kids came in. When they did, they were loud and brushing up against him. He collapsed in tears after a few seconds of pandemonium. He has to have a blanket over his head in the car to block the sun from his eyes. He can't stand it. He also doesn't want to be touched by anyone he isn't very familiar with, but is very loving and affectionate toward family members.

He walks up on his toes, and his fine motor is a bit behind where it should be. He has very little nonverbal communication skills. He doesn't understand most facial expressions or body language and is constantly interrupting. However, he uses facial expressions when he talks. One of the signs of Asperger's is no use of facial expression or gestures. Jackson does both, although they may not always be appropriate for the situation.

He is also very a very "difficult" child. He is emotional, moody, and easily upset by minor things. He'll often be sitting watching a movie and all of a sudden burst into tears. His reason is often, "I miss my Nini, but if I go see her, I'll miss you, Mommy!"

He does have particular interests, but not to the severe extent I have read of. The memorizing on train schedules and such is never something we've dealt with. His current fascination is with his Nintendo DS. He is awesome at it, and will be so involved in the game that he'll sit on the couch and play and pee in his pants and not even realize it. Obviously, this makes me absolutely livid.

I am not opposed to my son being diagnosed with such a disorder, and I understand that it doesn't at all change who he is. I just want to see if other people agree with the signs and symptoms of Asperger's that he exhibits. Thank you so much for all of your input on our situation!

This sounds very much like Asperger's Syndrome and I would get him evaluated. Also, autism is a spectrum and simply because it isn't severe as some doesn't mean it doesn't need to be called to attention. And, it's a syndrome meaning you don't need to exhibit every symptom.

I wondered about that. He also makes a lot of pointless verbalizations. Buzzing his lips and such. He is a great kid, really. Unique. Eccentric, maybe. He just seems more "normal" to me than what I read about. But then, what is "normal" anyway, right?

HE does sound like he is on the spectrum. There are many varying degrees of being on the spectrum. Not everyone has extreme obsessive interests. He is also very young, so he may not have an intense interest to that degree or he may never. I would definitely seek out a psychologist who specializes in autism. There are many psychologists out there but few who actual specialize in it. You could also seek out a neuropsychologist.

Perhaps search for an aspergers parent group in your area. If there is one, perhaps they can direct you to a professional knowledgable in the field.

Good luck!! I am sure he is a wonderful child. Nate's memory skills far surpass mine. He would rather play his father at memory and he is only five years old.

He DOES sound AS! The train schedules, etc... is something I bet many with AS don't do. I would say the nintendo stuff is hyperfocus, as opposed to obsessive interests.

Thank you guys for the input, greatly appreciated. I've read extensively on Asperger's, but what is HFA?

Okay. I wasn't familiar with that acronym. He has no language delay whatsoever. In fact, his verbal communication and vocabulary are highly advanced for his age. Last week, he told a little girl in his preschool class that she was being "tenacious".

When my son was 4, he was way less Aspie-seeming than yours seems. He wasn't diagnosed until he was 8, but he had no discernible obsessive interests; also had excellent vocabulary; was far more flexible about the entry of classmates into the room; had the tags thing with his clothes and the issue with fabrics, but not the seams on socks; was very flexible about eating different types of food, but not about what he ate for lunch or snack; had lots of facial expression; had a fabulous sense of humor; loved Thomas the Tank Engine and Legos (both very age appropriate); had difficulty with some fine motor skills but not with others, e.g., he didn't cut well with scissors, but he could manipulate Legos (not Duplos) with no problem.

All those things you read about people with Asperger's are just a list of possibilities. NO ONE has all of them!

YEP, I would lay money on it (not that I have any!), WELCOME to the spectrum

The spectrum is a very beautiful place to be providing you know a bit about it! So my advice is to read a bit, watch these threads as you will learn heaps. Living the spectrum and loving the spectrum is the only way to understand it.

Everything you are describing in your son is pretty bog standard 'normal' for an Aspie!! So he sounds totally yummy and perfect to me. The major problems rear their ugly heads if Oppositional Defiance Disorder or Conduct Disorder kick in. Usually shows quite early! If that happens it is all hands on neck with as many 'eraser's' as possible to rub it out! That is the nasty ingredient that you don't want.

Children on the spectrum whether they be ASPIE, AUTIE OR ADDers, ALL share the same ingredients but just in different quantities. They ALL have sensory and communication difficulties ALL of them.

Your son sounds as though he has his fair share of sensory issues, fabrics being one of them. Look up Sensory Integration Disorder and make sure you find out, it is a mine field.

He sounds like many of them VERY bright and possibly savant in some areas. These are the areas to explore more. If an aspie finds something THEY LIKE AND ARE BRILLIANT AT that is safe, let them be! Many children are great at computing yet their parents drag them away as they think it is bad for them, they should be socialising with Billy round the corner? Why? It is when these kids are MADE to do stuff they HATE or cannot cope with that they start to kick.

Yes of course we must make sure that they eat, drink, talk and play (Obsessions are quite another matter!) but if a child is exhibiting a special gift/talent/interest, that is where they should be heading. I have struggled all my life I have chased medicine and everything that goes with it, from a very young age my interest started (about 9 I think) and it is the area that I am gifted in so pursue. Not that I am any good at anything else mind you!! !

Don't be frightened of the spectrum, it can be a lonely place but if you look around you see plenty of smiling faces that perhaps sometimes seem a bit confused

The meltdowns are extremely worrying. Not only are they alarmingly scary for those that witness them, but very painful for us that have them. Meltdowns are probably occuring because of a number of reasons................Frustration, Bullying, Embarrasement, Fear.............and FEAR being the biggest.
I am very happy to explain meltdowns and their origins, but I am concerned this post is already turning into war and peace! Sorry Meltdowns should be treated like 'epileptic seizures', they should be handled REALLY GENTLY. No point in shouting back, WE CAN'T HEAR YOU, no point in telling us off WE AINT LISTENING, no point in punishing us? WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT WE HAVE DONE WRONG!. So meltdowns have to be treated VERY gently. Sadly teachers and some parents have not learnt this.

The way he walks is also indicative that he may be Dyspraxic too? Worth a look anyway. But don't panic many of these kids walk that way or toe to heel, or with a stoop and feet outurned. Just par for the course and part of being a 'jelibean', that is what we call everyone on the spectrum. It is kinder and gentler, we all have different coloured shells, flavours and can bounce at different heights!! So embrace it!

So all in all your son Jackson sounds a wonderful, bright shiny jelibean maybe scared one? Good luck

www.jelibean.com/

SECOND THOUGHTS YOU MAY FIND THIS EASIER TO FOLLOW??

Hello all. I am the mother of a gorgeous 4 year old named Jackson. As of recently, his teachers and have developed concerns that Jackson may have Asperger's Syndrome. I have read extensively on it, and am skeptical because all the cases I read about seem more severe than Jackson. He has many of the signs, but not all. I want input from you other parents. What do you see in your own children, and what is your opinion on mine? I'll tell you all I can about him, and I'm aware that there are likely no doctors on here. Please just go off of your experiences and be honest.

Jackson has always been very particular about his clothes and food. He can't tolerate tags on his shirts, or tighter/elastic cuffs at the bottom of sweatshirts or sweatpants. Seams on socks are an issue, and he often wears them inside out to avoid the discomfort the seams cause him. He is an incredibly picky eater and won't eat anything that doesn't "feel right". Sensory Integration Disorder, very common in these children. Food fads join the rest of us! I can gag on a bit of meat fat in a millisecond

He is incredibly smart and his memory surpasses any I've ever seen. You can read him a book once and he can recite it back to you with little error. His verbal communication is exemplary, his grammar perfect, and his vocabulary unrivaled by any child I've seen up through the 4th or 5th grade. Often the working memories are amazing and many children ARE able to recite it back, never fails to amaze me!! YES vocabulary is 'normal for a aspie', many of these kids speak early and have NO DELAY; That is the big difference with autism, there IS a speech delay. Many young aspies are described as mini professors

He has "meltdowns" when he can't handle what's going on. Ex: At school today, he was sitting doing puzzles before the other kids came in. When they did, they were loud and brushing up against him. He collapsed in tears after a few seconds of pandemonium. He has to have a blanket over his head in the car to block the sun from his eyes. He can't stand it. He also doesn't want to be touched by anyone he isn't very familiar with, but is very loving and affectionate toward family members. Meltdowns are worrying, they are scary and painful for many of us, normally triggered, this time by sense I should imagine, SENSORY OVERLOAD. And yes photosensitivity is very common too, I have a pair of sunglasses in every room and the car!!They should be treated with care and kindness, no shouting back, no sudden movements, just TLC all the way

He walks up on his toes, and his fine motor is a bit behind where it should be. He has very little nonverbal communication skills. He doesn't understand most facial expressions or body language and is constantly interrupting. However, he uses facial expressions when he talks. One of the signs of Asperger's is no use of facial expression or gestures. Jackson does both, although they may not always be appropriate for the situation. Again very typical gait, often these kids have touches or big dollops of dyspraxia, so check it out, he will use all sorts of facial expressions especially at his age. Don't believe what you read about they don't use gestures either!! Many are echolalic (copy/mimic) or echospraxic!

He is also very a very "difficult" child. He is emotional, moody, and easily upset by minor things. He'll often be sitting watching a movie and all of a sudden burst into tears. His reason is often, "I miss my Nini, but if I go see her, I'll miss you, Mommy!" Also very common in kids on the the spectrum, surges of emotion from the amigdyla into the prefrontal cortex, plenty of academic evidence to support this, also has attachment issues too, again nature of the beast!

He does have particular interests, but not to the severe extent I have read of. The memorizing on train schedules and such is never something we've dealt with. His current fascination is with his Nintendo DS. He is awesome at it, and will be so involved in the game that he'll sit on the couch and play and pee in his pants and not even realize it. Obviously, this makes me absolutely livid.Bet he loves Thomas the Tank? Again a 'savant' abiility, that could be put to better use (unless you take the train everywhere ). His concentration is obviously soooo intently focused on his game he has not realised he wants to pee (often these kids FORGET to pee, eat, or sleep!) so he has to be reminded and then he will remember to go! Bless him.

I am not opposed to my son being diagnosed with such a disorder, and I understand that it doesn't at all change who he is. I just want to see if other people agree with the signs and symptoms of Asperger's that he exhibits. Thank you so much for all of your input on our situation!

Sounds to me as though you have a perfectly 'normal' aspie there with some beautiful gifts and talents that should be explored, Good luck and enjoy him, you will learn heaps I am sure on the forum. The teachers sound wonderful, AT FOUR YEARS OLD YOU ARE LUCKY, most of us have to fight for years until there is little more left than a battle scar! Best wishes sincerely and I hope that helped.

Thank you, that did help. I will be happy when we know something for sure. I am so tired of hearing people tell me what a brat he is and how he doesn't get any discipline at home. He does, and he is a great kid. He does have some fine motor delays, but no gross motor that we've seen as of yet. He does walk up on his toes, but it doesn't look awkward, it just looks like he's walking on his toes. lol I have requested screening a while back and we go for them today. It's just an initial, but it'll go into more. I have also checked into some doctors who could possibly diagnose. Looks as if we'll have to go to St. Louis, MO. (We're in southern IL.) Any names you could pass along to me?

My pleasure glad it helped. I know how wearing it can be when NO ONE understands and just looks at your child like they have horns coming out of their heads! It HAS nothing to do with discipline!! It is a different COGNITIVE STYLE. Sometimes you can overdo the discipline and the child becomes oppositional. ALL children on the spectrum are different but have the same tenplate, imagine a big chocolate cake! NO chocolate cake is the same yet most are made with the same ingredients!! Think of Jackson like this, which ingredients does he have more of?? Sounds to me like he is VERY sensory aware and often overloaded which is what is causing the meltdowns.

Simple practical things can be done to avoid this, for example at school, he needs to be taken for lunch first perhaps with another kid, so that he avoids the chaos that goes on after the bell in the corridors. The noise is probably too much for him too and setting him off. I bet he is good at giving out noise BUT not so great at taking it!

We would not shout at a DEAF child for not hearing the fire bell, or a BLIND child for not reading the whiteboard...................SO WHY shout and make a fuss of a child who CANNOT tolerate bright lights, or noise or smells or being touched?? Invisible disabilites!! They are sometimes the cruellest.

My advice is that you become the Sherlock Holmes, the detective and find out WHAT specifically TRIGGERS your son, when you find the ANTECEDENT you will be able to STOP THE BEHAVIOUR and the meltdowns or lessen them for sure.

Everyone should be looking at ABC charts.

ANTECEDENT (WHAT WAS THE CAUSE)
BEHAVIOUR
CONSEQUENCE

Sooo many teachers and parents forget to ASK what triggered it in the first place. My son had a meltdown not sooo long ago, when I asked him what had caused it, he said ME!! I had lost my keys, was late, phone ringing, blah blah and I shouted to HIM, which just sent him over the top!! Ooops, lots of hugs and making up was required on my part!!

Good luck
PS Walking on toes!!

Check out Uta Frith (very very emminent in this field, sorry if you know that already, not meaning to sound patronising!)
http://books.google.co.uk/books?hl=en&l ... w13rS8PPwA

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