So excited, can I share my news and story of hope with you?

Post Reply New Topic

Afternoon everyone, it is a dismal day here in the UK, grey clouds and brrrrrrr!

But I am busting with pride and just wanted to share my news with all of you. Hope you don't mind, but it is a story of hope for the future. I am not one to blow my own trumpet normally. I prefer to get on with things quietly, not that I am a shrinking violet, far from it!!

My son was though 3yrs ago lonely, no friends, socially different and slightly awkward. He thought life was difficult, he didn't feel part of society, he had black thoughts and no hope for the future. We have worked hard on him with out own methods www.jelibean.com that some of you may be familiar with. WP have kindly allowed me to post our website with different methods and TIPS to use for children and adults on the spectrum. Of course I am passionate about these methods, I helped create them!! So therefore how proud am I of my kids who have benefited from these methods.

Because in front of you, as if by magic, I present you my son David who (metaphorically speaking) went from a dandelion to a sunflower right in front of my eyes. He is diagnosed Aspergers Syndrome and discovered a guitar only 11mths ago. Since then he has gone from strength to strength and now appears on the Marshall Amps website alongside the greats of the rock music industry. The youngest ever to be interviewed on the iconic Marshall Stage. In this interview he describes his Asperger traits and embraces everything that makes him who he is today. He has discovered feelings and emotions that now he can communicate with ease through music. For him the guitar is his life.

People tell me to be careful not to push him too hard (yes we all know what pushy mothers can be like!!), but actually it is me trying to persuade him NOT TO PRACTICE 12hrs a day, to give himself a rest. But he is driven, it is his special interest, his talent, his gift. Asking him to hold it back causes him pain, so I just let him create and explore, it keeps him safe.

So imagine my horror when recently at a University Lecture, I witnessed the lecturer describing a child keen on films as 'weird', 'looking odd' so therefore (almost in a patronising way) couldn't possibly achieve their dreams at the top in the 'film industry'. And that was an EXPERT in the Autism spectrum??? My son is just amazing, never ever tell any child on the spectrum they will not achieve because of their cognitive and neurological differences!! Never tell a child their dreams may not come true, no one has the right to do that. Thank goodness that isn't the message I gave to my children. My older son has just come back a World Champion Rower, and is diagnosed on the spectrum.

Anyway I hope you don't mind me sharing these links with you. And I hope that when you click in, you will be inspired to showcase those kids and adults in your lives who achieve great things. Most of us without the spectrum would not be who we are today. Let's embrace it not diss it? Yeah?? My son wants everyone to know that he welcomes his differences, without them he could not play guitar like this!

I use this TIP (talking in pictures) and say that for us on the spectrum, society and individuals chuck large quantities of mud at us, in time we get caked in it and lose our sparkle. But hey with a bit of elbow grease we can get rid of the rubbish and bring the shine back into our lives and into those around us. Yes you guessed it, I have a very sore elbow but it was worth every bit of pain and effort. Never say anyone on the spectrum can not achieve their dreams, we can, and this is proof.

This is about him and the linky to his 'Marshall Amp' interview if you scroll down. Please remember that by his own admission, a few years ago he was not in a good place, but now..........he is looking forward to the future, he has bags of self belief and he has everything to look forward to. Even if he never makes the big time with huge audiences and arena's he has found his passion, his route of communication. He is happy and has a future. He is not after fame or fortune, just the opportunity to perform, to do what he does best and that makes him happiest.

Scroll down for the direct link into Marshall theatre, click on interviews when you get in and there he is! Remember he has only been playing 11mths!

http://www.jelibean.com/ladder/index.ph ... &Itemid=59
Catch him on youtube aswell here. Check out Master of Puppets and November Rain in particular.
http://www.youtube.com/user/sparklijelibean

Thanks WP for allowing me to post this, I do hope I haven't broken any rules, none intentioned I promise Do feel free to delete or edit as you see fit.

wow!! !! !! !! that's awesome!

That is just so cool! Awesome.

That is just so brilliant!! For you as well as him. Watching the Youtube clips (and as a guitarist), the "Mindless Shredding" would put most who have been playing for 10 years to shame, let alone 10 months. He must have worked really hard and really have a feel for what he's doing.



They only say that as they know their children can't work as hard as yours. You can be truly proud of your achievements and it reflects well on your ideas and methods. I think more emphasis should be given on helping those with AS to find and cultivate their special interest, rather than see it as a problem that needs to be got rid of and replaced with 'social skills'.



That attitude is a disgrace. Makes me wonder why we aren't trying to find the gene that causes those who dare pretend to be 'experts' on anything other than their own pathetic egos, so that we can allow their parents to terminate them before birth. Yes, I feel that strongly about it. The biggest obstacle is not ourselves, it's idiots like that and the negative image they are spreading to the world. Reminds me of this oft-repeated utter nonsense about Aspergers children being intelligent but "not having real knowledge", just repeating lots of facts they've learnt. Dohh!! !! !



You really are doing something right! Would it be fair to say the do what they do because the love it, rather than just for the reward? And you encourage them in this? I think too many young (and not so young) people fail to achieve their potential because they focus totally on the results, while actually quite resenting doing the work required 'before they inevitably become famous'. (which is how they see it)



I'm glad for the links! It's important to shopw what can be done if we play to our strengths, while not neglecting our weaknesses and most of all, welcome our individuality.



That's a good attitude. I always say to my guitar pupils (and their parents) that sure, only a fraction of a percent will become famous, but that's not the aim. Despite anonymity, I've made most of my friends and had some wonderful experiences as a 'nobody' musician. *All* those who persevere with an instrument will find it rewards them in some way.

Best wishes to your son in his future musical adventures!

DUPLICATE MSG DELETED

Last edited by ManErg on 04 May 2009, 12:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I am really happy for your kids. Thank you for sharing! You just keep doing what you are doing, and allow them to follow their gifts.

Wow, thanks everyone for your kind comments.

ManErq, many thanks for all your comments too, which I will respond to if I may. Mindless Shredding is something he is very proud of! To be honest, my ears prefer the melodic riffs such as November Rain and Hotel California, but I totally see the skill involved in 'shredding' so just look on in ignorance and admiration!

And yes, our methods have helped him enormously even if I do say so myself. Knowing that WE ARE ALL on the spectrum helps. I see so many families torn because they are pointing a finger at one particular child (normally the one who is giving the most cause for concern?), this alienates that child, I know all too well how it felt to be earmarked as the 'difficult one'. Hmmm looking back at my genetics, pot and kettle come to mind! So the fact that my kids know I am on the spectrum too helps. We laugh at each other and understand each other too. Noone is put down, we look for the positive. For every positive comment, praise or encouragement a child will grow and start to believe in themselves. We talk in a different language, the language of analogy. We have called it TIPS (TALKING IN PICTURES), it means we can all understand each other as we are all on the same frequency. It aint rocket science. This article is written in TIPS
http://www.jelibean.com/ladder/index.ph ... &Itemid=28

I absolutely encourage them if it makes them happy!! You are totally right. Special interests that are allowed to evolve and develop in the end puts these kids in touch with other like minded souls and they at last feel safe. My son talks non stop about Marshall amps, Gibson guitars and knows all there is to know. He is loving it, he is enjoying learning, lapping it up and discovering that he can compose and make his own music too. Actually he has just composed a beautiful song called I waited there, it is about his Dad who doesn't care, he expressed it in music, never have I heard him be able to show others how he feels, but now I understand.
This is the link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltQf_VjQ ... re=related

We need to CELEBRATE the spectrum, embrace its beauty and encourage everyone to find their special talent, we all have it. Our beautiful diamonds of children get mud thrown at them, they get dirty with other people's baggage. We have a special shiny cloth that gets the mud off really easy. We call them our 'Jelibean methods' and our message is 'Tender Loving Care for Jellybeans everywhere'.

All our methods are non invasive, free and gentle, they teach us to look at the positives and ways with which to help the weaker areas. Phah to those who want a 'cure', it doesn't exist and if it did, Phah and double phah....... the planet would be a very lonely, boring and less up to date place without us!!

Thanks everyone for your very postive comments. The World Champion Gig Rower is asleep in the chair, exhausted from the weekend! But happy and very enthusiastic for the future. Let's celebrate the spectrum instead of finding fault with it!

www.jelibean.com/

What an inspiration your son is!! !! !! !! !! !! My son was just diagnosed with Asperger's in January, he is 3 years old. Your son is awesome!! !! This gives me so much hope!! !! I can't wait to share this with my family and friends!

My son has been very interested in music since he was an infant, he will stop whatever he is doing if he hears music that interests him. He loves watching people play instruments. People keep telling me that I have to nurture his love for music but all I can think to do is put different kinds of music on for him. I could be wrong, but I think he's too young for instrument lessons.

THANK YOU for sharing your story!! !! !! !! !

My pleasure Gusmom and CONGRATULATIONS on your most recent discovery of your wonderful jelibean, Aspergers Syndrome sounds sooo formal and a bit scary!! But don't be!! It can be as wonderful as it is different. That is why we call everyone on the spectrum jelibeans! All different colours, shapes and flavours! Music is a universal language, I remember David's school report after he was diagnosed, aged Mmmmm 8yrs old I think.................'David cannot hold beat and shows no interest in music'! !! Maybe I should frame that, how wrong could his SENCO be (Special Needs Co Ordinator!!). How completely wrong.

Your son is already showing an interest so just sit back and allow him to explore and create for himself. He will find the area he is most interested in, then just encourage it. Systems and special interests for us on the spectrum mean 'safety' and when we are safe and on familiar ground we are happy! If he is given the opportunity to hold, play with and experiment with instruments he will find his level. You won't have to do anything, once these kids are on a role, there is NOooo stopping them!! Just give them a way to access it and they will do the rest.

Where would we be without the genius of Stephen Spielberg? And that is only one that rolls off my tongue. I look at the music industry and see the genius in many musicians, who maybe would not be who they are today were it not for the spectrum!! Think about it!
http://www.solarnavigator.net/films_mov ... elberg.htm


So YES LOOK FORWARD, enjoy all your special jelibean has to offer the world and love him for who he is, the beauty is there to see, just use that shiny special cloth to keep polishing him up! Never drag a jelibean anywhere, lead gently and they will follow!! !

GOOD LUCK!! High Five!!

Too many parents would tell the children to "stop that awful noise and go do something useful...! !!".



I was going to ask if he composed & played in a band. Obviously he does so that's another poke in the eye for the 'experts' who 'know' that those aren't the AS spectrum can't be creative. Not 'proper' creativity like that displayed by the masses of NT's. We live in upside down land!

Noticed the gig was in Plymouth - almost the same part of the world as me. I'm in the wilds of North Somerset, let me know if your sons band ever plays up this way!

Hiya again ManErq, I have a very tumbledown cottage in Cornwall with VERY thick walls. From the outside it looks tiny but actually inside it is a tardis (big for those of you unfamiliar with Dr Who!!). The first time I took real notice of him was when I heard 'Sweet Child o' Mine' and thought it was a CD!! Imagine my surprise when I realised it was him!!

To me whatever noise he creates on the guitar is his way of communicating his feelings, he needs that to reset his own body and relieve the stress. I am sooo privileged to be able to hear what he creates, I could no more shut him up than throw myself off the nearest cliff! Mind you if it was a violin ................ouch, I remember my daughters attempts!! lol!

Ha ha, beat you too it! Yes he composes and now he is recording. Don't ask me how, I just know we are scrounging any equipment we are offered from anyone as we are broke. But slowly we will get there!!

I would like to add and this is not a way of advertising I promise. But Marshall Amps have been fantastic, they have spotted his talent and are nurturing him and supporting him so closely. They understand him and indeed see a lot of traits in other musicians now they know what to look for. I am sooo hoping to start a Rock School one day, for kids who want to create and play rock and progressive music. Yes there are schools for classical musicians but what about the modern rock?? Ooh well I will continue to dream and try my hardest to make it happen one day.

But if this is Aspergers Syndrome, it is wonderful. I love it and so does he. I am so privileged and don't I know it. Off to bed now, time is ticking on in the UK and it is back to the grindstone tomorrow (Tuesday), it has been a Bank Holiday weekend here so short week ahead!

Somerset eh ManErq! What a small world, if we are ever in that area, we will for sure let you know!! Rock on! Night night folks stay safe

What a lovely breath of fresh air you and your son are

I am from a spectrum family. My Uncle went to University at 15 to study physics and has done some amazing things. He developed the first University course in scientific art restoration because he was horrified at all the old masters being destroyed by restorers who didn't understand chemical reactions. Thanks to him, restoration is now a science and not an art

We are special people who sadly often sabotage ourselves by allowing ourselves to be our own worst enemies. We seem to have a tendency to focus on the negative. So many threads are about how NTs are happier etc. I say happiness is up to me.

Please pass on my congradulations to you son. He is fantastic

Thanks so much julie_b, we are full of hope and optimism for the future, being on the spectrum can at first appear scary but hey, once you know what you are dealing with, it is a walk in the park!!

But hey you are sooooo right about being our own worst enemies. I see sooo much inhouse fighting it is unbelievable. We all moan and groan, whinge and whine, fair enough BUT at least balance it out with the positives; There is so much to be hopeful for and there is LIFE AFTER diagnosis!! ! I could hug all those out there who live in fear of what a child on the spectrum could bring them. Don't be, work on the positives and you won't go far wrong.

Your uncle sounds AMAZING,UNI at 15!! ! Wow what an acheivement, and how many would be envious of that!!

EMBRACE AND LEARN about the spectrum and you will learn to love it and those on it even more than you do now, that is my message to everyone out there. Seems you julie_b have a pretty good idea already!!

CHOICE,we all have choices, it is just a matter of learning to recognise that fact and act on it. My choice too is to see the good and act on it. And with good comes happiness! Keep up with that wonderful positive attitude and see the rewards come rolling in!
www.jelibean.com/

Amen to that! Your sharing about your son and your wonderful attitude have really made my day!

Too often I get mired down in the "problems", but I have always been really, really proud of my sons' unique abilities. It's a great reminder to cherish, support and celebrate them!

Hallelujah! Amen and praise be to whichever God you worship.................the spectrum rocks!!

Personally I am SICK to death of hearing about 'deficits', 'syndromes', 'disabilities', 'disorders' and 'conditions'

We are NONE OF THAT! How about 'bright', 'creative', 'sensitive', 'different', 'smart' and 'BEAUTIFUL' ?
How about 'achievers', 'learners', 'leaders', 'explorers', 'mavericks' AND WONDERFUL?

Sure there are problems! But then 'neurotypicals aka marshmallows' in my world have their problems too!

See all the positive attributes, treat us with kindness, fairness and compassion and most of us are easy to handle. What all the fuss is about I cannot imagine. Seems that everyone I know gets pushed from pillar to post, passed from 'whicker basket' to 'whicker basket' only to get referred or passed onto someone else!
Seeing the spectrum as a problem gives problems but seeing it WITHOUT the problems and you see the true beauty. WE (YES we are all diagnosed!) ARE PROUD TO BE ON THE SPECTRUM, without it we would not be the crazy creative creatures that we are now!! Well I don't believe we would anyway.

Soooooo thank you to everyone who have found our story inspirational in any small way. I do hope it has given many more hope for the future, because the future is as bright as you want to make it. Invest in a child on the spectrum and you will reap many rewards later down the line. BE PATIENT, NEVER GIVE UP AND ALWAYS BE THEIR REAL FRIEND.

If anyone wants to know how we did it, our methods are all on www.jelibean.com
One day maybe the professionals will listen to us and learn to love and nurture these incredible children. All different but all as precious. Thanks everyone for your encouragement and support. I wasn't sure I was doing the right thing posting this thread but now I know I was. It means a lot thank you

PS David and Chris say THANK YOU for your support, knowing you love what they are doing pushes and spurs them on a bit more. Positive praise, support and encouragement, that's all, it really isn't difficult! Magic, real magic that works