Is a diagnosis important?

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I took my 18 year old to the psychiatrist yesterday because he was having some big problems. I am convinced that his depression and anxiety are due to Aspburgers, but he has not been officially diagnosed. He is 18 and has NO friends. He has lots of OCD behaviors, has a hard time talking to anyone (I took him in for a therapy appointment a year ago, and the therapist came and got me during their session, because he wouldn't talk.) He talked and walked at an early age, and at 15 months started "flicking" pebbles and sand and whatever with his hands in a rythmic motion. He was also kind of obsessed with spinning tires and made inventions that spun with water, etc. In preschool the teachers firstly thought his stand-offishness and individualty was okay, but after a bit even they were pushing him to participate after they had firstly told me to not push him...in a word, he was weird. He wouldn't play with the other kids, and instead carried a small collection of toys and treasures around with him.
He seemed to do okay in grade school and middle school, but high school is proving to be very hard for him socially. He cannot seem to make any friends or connect with anyone. He is becoming increasingly depressed trying to find a job...and having no friends. He started cutting this week. The psychiatrist pretty much thought I was an idiot for bringing up the possibility of him being in the aspburgers spectrum. He perscribed him some prozac and told me to bring him in to the same psychologist for therapy.
I really think my son needs to learn how to function socially...he really does not respond to therapy sessions. I really feel pushed aside by our mental health care professionals. Thoughts? Am I a nutty mother or am I onto something here?

I'd say you are onto something here. I've been diagnosed as being mentally ret*d, emotionally disturbed, having borderline personality disorder, and many others. Out of all of the so called mental health or medical professionals I've been to, only two have gotten it right. I would advise you to take your son to someone who specializes in autism spectrum disorders.

My son's younger brother is very social and they attend the same high school. My younger son reports that the other kids think that his brother is strange and acts like a "serial killer"...or maybe he will pull a "Columbine". This really hurts because my older son is a very thoughtful sensitive person. I am sure that if he found out what the others thought of him, he probably would quit school. It is hard watching my younger son be invited to do things with his friends, while my older son hangs out with us instead of his peers. Or even worse, is shut in his room on a Friday nights...alone.
I will search for someone who specializes in this...apparently out of my HMO. I am so frustrated. And worried about my sons future.

Monarch, I can sympathize with your worries about your son. It's hard to watch our children suffer. Know that you are in good company here.

As for getting your son evaluated by a specialist, you should talk to your family doctor about your suspicions and get him to write a referral to a specialist in this field. Your HMO should cover it, if it was referred by your doctor. Most parents I know got their children evaluated by a neurologist, so that's likely where you'll be sent.

Good luck.

What was the psychiatrist's reasoning for dismissing Aspergers?

I believe a diagnosis is important for the same reason a diagnosis is important in any other medical situation. Autism is a neurological difference, and it's helpful to a person to know why he or she isn't understanding things in the same way as others around him/her, thus causing problems and anxiety. This would allow the autistic person to learn ways of coping and adapting (if he or she desires) to the NT world that have been tried and tested and shown to be helpful. It's a matter of making life better/easier/less stressful for the autistic person in an NT world.

If you think your son is on the spectrum then taking him to your family physician for a referral to a neurologist couldn't hurt. Clinical psychologists can get the ball rolling on the diagnostic process as well. It doesn't have to be the psychiatrist. Honestly, of all the treatment/therapy/behavior modification, psychiatry has been the least helpful for my Aspie boy. If you feel mental health care is failing you then try a neurologist. Aspergers is a neurological issue and therefore best addressed diagnostically through a neurologist. The treatments are varied but generally dealt with through behavioral therapy, but you can cross that bridge when you come to it! It really is a complex issue because the brain is a complex organ

The psychiatrist assumes because my son had a few friends in grade school and middle school that he really doesn't have that problem. My son wants to have friends, desperately..but cannot seem to connect to other people. For instance, he went to a fellow classmates house for a study group...he was SO excited. They ordered pizza and studied. He so wants to fit in...but I am pretty sure no one called him in the following weeks to hang out or go to a party. I think people just do not "get" him. And he doesn't understand how to engage them. I will take him to the GP first. I think the mental health route is a waste of time right now, and we do not have a lot of time. He has only one year left of high school. It would be nice if he could enjoy it on the social level as well as on the academic. Thanks for your help !

I think it's important to point out that a therapy for AS requires a psychologist/therapist who had knowledge about the autistic spectrum disorder.

A therapist can't treat somebody's problematic social life that stems from AS the same way as that of someone whose social problems stem from depression, anxiety, another disorder, shyness, trauma whatever.

Basically, psychotherapy does not work for a person who has AS if that person's problems stem only from their AS. It is possible that a person is diagnosed with AS but actually doesn't have much problems with AS, but a lot more problems with an anxiety disorder that they have on top. Many people on the autistic spectrum also have anxiety, depression, OCD, bipolar and so on.

An anxiety disorder for example could be treated (successfully) with a psychotherapy or other well-known equivalents, but it would not help a person to cope with the underlying AS.

If a person needs help with both a co-morbid disorder such as anxiety, OCD and others as well as with their AS/HFA, then they most likely need psychotherapy or an equivalent of this as well as a treatment for their AS. Or a therapist who doesn't mind trying more than one approach to help his client.

I'm not sure how wide spread therapists who know how to treat a person with AS/HFA/other are in US? I believe there may be more knowledgeable psychotherapists in the US than where I live, but from what I gathered here on WP there are still also a lot of therapists who do not know a lot about AS and are not qualified to help somebody with it.

What you need to find if you're looking for therapy is to find a CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) trained person. CBT has been much better for me than psychotherapy. Trust me, I went through a lot of therapists before I found ones that worked with me. I just had to start over because of a move, but it does do wonders. Also, don't dismiss medication. With the help of medication, many of my aspie things are much less obvious. I don't get nearly as distressed with changes in routine and can handle when people aren't doing things my way. This reduces a lot of stress, anxiety and depression. But do find a new psychiatrist. I can't stand psychiatrists that don't listen to the patient or parent!

I am curious what you've done with the recommendation for Prozac. That can be a very tricky drug for someone your son's age and can actually make things much, much worse. Give serious thought and research before considering going that route.

Many professionals still assume that to be on the spectrum one must be unemotional and isolated. That simply isn't true. What marks the spectrum is the inability to read social cues. It doesn't mean one doesn't wish to. Just that one can't. Sensory issues tend to be common, and a more methodical, logical mindset - that still may be creative, but in a different way than most people tend to be creative.

The criteria are still evolving, but I can almost pick someone on the spectrum out from a crowd.

My diagnosied AS son, btw, has and wants friends. Not many; his social needs are pretty basic, and he really does not WANT to do many of things other pre-teens do. He finds movie theatres and amusement park rides overwhelming, he doesn't enjoy sports, dances make no sense to him, and parties tend to be "too much." Instead, he loves camping, hiking with a friend, and so on. Just walking from school to home with someone to talk to is pure joy to him. No playdate required. So do understand that even if you get son engaged socially, it is likely to be in a way that will be different than you would have done in high school, and that should be OK. The goal isn't to make your son like other teens, it is to make sure he is happy and comfortable in his own life.

Of course DW, I know for him, a few friends or even one good one would be all he might need. I coached him in soccer in second grade...team sports were not for him. But skiing and rock-climbing were right up his alley. I want for him to be happy..not my version of happy, but his. I am pretty sure that he isn't very happy right now. Is there a section here for teens with aspburgers here that he could chat with? I think that would help a lot !

I wish you lots of luck with the psych field! My son is 20 and we went through so many different kinds of help. He doesn't believe he is asperger but knows he use to be. He has learned how to act, but still doesn't work or drive, he also has no friends but has several online friends that he has had for years. If it weren't for the internet he would be lost. He went off of his antidepressants when he dropped off of our insurance, but last month he told me he needed to go back on it. I took him to my Dr. and he gave him an antidepressant that he gets at wal-mart for $4. He is doing much better, but he still won't drive or work. I have an 18 yr old son too. He has friends and sometimes they invite my other son to movies, He will only go sometimes.I know it's painful for you as a parent. All I want is for my sons to be happy and not in pain. I understand how my son feels, because since his diagnosis I have realized that I have many autistic tendencies, I have always been different, but all that matters is staying happy. I take antidepressants myself, I will never stop taking them, because I am happy on them!