Ear plugs for children ? Tortured sibling !

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Are there any earplugs for kids that work ? My son (9) is ALWAYS yelling at his little sister for breathing and chewing too loud. Bedtime is an effort. They share a bunkbed, we cant afford a 3 bed house ! Headphones sort of work, but I cant get them off him because he is in the top bunk, and I dont want him getting all tangled up (he moves a LOT) in the night. We have tried traditional foam ones and shapable wax ones, neither worked.
Dinner is hell for all of us because he cant stand the chewing noise and refuses to stop lecturing her about eating quietly (says things like "eat like a human!"), often he plays his mp3 while eating and that helps.
She is also lectured to breathe quietly in the car, in fact she isn't allowed to sing quietly either.
And is she not allowed to make any noise at all while he watches tv (she likes to hum and sing, to me it is very quiet, to him it is very loud).
His poor sister is tortured with all of this. I think he takes a lot of his anxiety out on her and focuses it on her, but that's another story !

Search for "Vic Firth Isolation Headphones" - they are sound-blocking ear phones that do not have a cord or connect to a source - they are solely for ear protection. My son is a drummer and wears these for practice. They might be uncomfortable to wear to bed, but there is no cord to get tangled.

I am also tormented acutely with sound.

I have not found dany that work well. I carry the plugs with me all the time and sleep with them. But nothing blocks out sound totally.

There are shooting ear muffs that may work. I am looking into a pair, but they are like 100 dollars. However, to use the little foam ones PLUS the ones for shooting/heavy equpment on top of them may be an option. That is what I am tryikng to do.

There are also noise canceling phones, but they seem to issue white noise. Just as obnoxious.

We need total and complete silence when we need it. I also have issues with people making noises they just natuarally make. I am so sorry for your daughter. It is so hard on my parents. Anything they do- vacuum, dishes, lawn care, etc.......it's a nightmare for them.

To me this world is madness,,,,far too noisy and bright and smelly and irritating. It is a sad fact taht we have to live here among NT. I am not sure who has it the worse.

I wear the foam earplugs as well as a headset that plays white noise that is generated by my computer. Sound is a HUGE problem for me.

Two of my kids wear bilsom earprotection in scool during classes. Helps them in a crowded, noisy class to do what they like, schoolwork.

I, myself tend to favor my mobile phone playing good dance music (i'm 39. And I don't dance. Just like the music when I work) to keep out noises from people around me.

I am all for being sensitive to our children's sensory problems, as they are very real, but he is going to have to give a little, too. He doesn't have the right to yell at his sister for doing natural things like breathing or chewing, and he needs to learn that the respect for each other's needs goes both ways. Once everyone has done their best to mitigate the problems, it is his job to learn to adapt, and he needs to understand that. Let him know you are sorry he feels the world is torture, but it isn't his sister's fault.

I have to confess, I find his ability to watch TV to be, well, interesting. My son can't stand the noise of the TV. Is this self-calming or simple entertainment? If the later, he does not have an inborn right to enjoy it without interference, unless you give that to every member of the family. If he wants that concession, he has to give something back. Look carefully at "needs" v. "wants" and use the "wants" to leverage compromises for needs that are physically impossible to meet. While we work extremely hard to make home is my son's safe place, where he can be as he needs to be, we've also taught him there are some limits to that, as we are a family, and each person deserves to have some breathing room, not just him. He already takes the number 1 priority, and he is aware of that, but he has also learned that there is a limit to it, and he must give back to the extent he is able. I have no hesitation on calling him on it when he tries to assert a "want" as a "need." We just don't have room for that in the balance of family life, when he already takes so much priority.

It is unusual for me to be saying "draw a line" with the AS child, but it sounded to me like he goes too far. There is a difference between understanding our AS kids and meeting their needs, and allowing them to be fully self-centered. You probably are a lot more strict with him than I gleamed from the words in your post, but it is still important, I think, for us to remember there is a balance to be found.

This isn't just an issue with kids. Before my wife was dxed & got on meds she was just as bad as your nine year old. really, it was awful. Any little noise would send her into waves of irritation. For months we (myself and my two NT kids) were whispering and walking on eggshells. Finally I said "Enough" & we were able to find out what the problem was (AS).

She is now on Paxil & is happy, working, functioning and interacting and acting like an actual member of the family rather than the "noise warden". : )

Let me be clear. It did not make her happy to be nasty & cranky all of the time. It was as hard on her as it was us, maybe more. But you're right, enough is enough. The whole family can't whisper in hushed tones and suck quietly on their food forever. Not only that, when he gets in the real world he'd be in for a huge, rude awakening. Out there people will chew their food & breath anyway they darn well please.

Hi,

To minimize annoying sound, we've had good luck with shooter ear muffs-- the ear projection used at gun ranges for shooting. They look like headphones but with no cord to tangle, and they're very comfortable. About $20 online.

And they are awesome at lowering sound levels while still letting you be aware of sounds around you.

DS brings them to movie theaters, because otherwise the big sound systems wipe him out. I'm not aspie, but I use them to tune out and relax too

Good luck!
Sandy