Repeatative questions and whining

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I know this is a normal trait for Aspies, but what I'm looking for is how to cope with it. My 4 y/o will ask the same question over and over again, he has undiagnosed aspergers. For me I have several red flags, I have coping issues myself, and so dealing with this is frustrating because how many times do I have to repeat myself the same answer over and over again. I do understand it's a processing issue but sometimes it's really hard to do the distraction thing....

The other thing he does when I get frustrated or mad, is this wierd hooting whining thing, it's soo annoying and once he's going it's hard to get him to stop, ignoring, telling him to stop (which from personal experience I know it makes it worse not better, so I try not to do that to him), he can go on for a long time.

I know I should be able to deal with this, many of his issues are similar to what I delt with as a child or as an adult, but I'm not always able to cope with it.

I wear hearing aids and get to turn them off

OK, that isn't very practical.

I've tended to use a set number of times I will respond to the same question. The first time you answer and check if the repsonse is adequate ("does that answer your question?". The second time you vary the answer slightly and check again that it makes sense to the child. The third time you repeat both answers, and note that you are repeating them, and that you do not have a new or different answer to give. The fourth time you note before repeating that this is the last time you will repeat the answers, and then repeat them. The fifth time you remind him what you said after the fourth, that you have already responded four times, that you have no new information to add and will not, and are not going to repsond again.

My son once told me that he knew the answer by then but simply enjoyed asking and hearing me answer.

He has learned not to do that. I can't say how many years that took, but I do remember the repitition years well.

The wierd noise thing ... you've got to let him do that. Maybe that would be a good time for ear plugs? Just because he needs to make the noise doesn't mean that you need to listen to it. Its more of a self-calming thing than an attention thing, for my child at least.

Good luck.

Thanks, sometimes I just need reminding of certain things. I was a 'rocker' as a child to self sooth, so the noise thing is off setting.

I will give your advise on the questioning a try, as of right now I will tell him a few times and then get frustrated and tell him I'm not telling him again.

The question thing is kind of like a stim. My son does it, too, but far less now than he did at 4. Basically, he's wanting assurance that all is right in the world. His world is full of chaos, and unpredictability, and his repetitive questions are just a comfort thing. Kinda like a warm security blanket. It's also a way of communicating that he knows how to do. My son still doesn't do a lot of back, and forth conversing. It's his way of connecting to another person in a predictable way that he understands. I will usually answer his questions, but every now, and then I do get a little over the edge with the constant talking, and I will tell him that "I'm all done answering questions right now. Why don't you go do x" I also know that at times if he is repeating the same questions over, and over in a matter of minutes that it means that he's getting overstimulated, and he's about to have a meltdown. He will do this a lot when we are socializing with others, and it serves as an emotional barometer that tells me when he's had enough.

The noises are stims, and there's not much you can do about them. It's his way of regulating his sensory system. Both of my boys do it. If one hums, and makes noises the other gets louder, then the first gets louder, and so on. Earplugs didn't cut it for that much noise, but I tried. If I feel like I can't take it anymore I just ask my oldest son (HFA) to please take his noises to his room, or be quieter. He will usually do it, after protesting a little.

Is this called echolalia or is that something different?

Oh that is such a familiar scenario! I often get the same question which I usually answer three or four times to keep him happy (usually on the car journey to school) then I just say "I've answered your question 4 times so I'm not going to answer it again." Just one of those harmless and charming quirks (unless mum is tired/in a bad mood/late )

I often ask the same questions and don't always realize I am doing it. I sometimes also like hearing the same answer or seeing if it changes and it's a good way to test honesty. Also I might not even remember I had already asked the question and other times I don't know why I do it. I try not to do it because I also know how irritating it is to be asked the same thing over and over and then I lose it by telling that person to shut up and quit asking me that same question.

No thats when someone repets what has been said by someone else over and over like a echo. This is just fairly normal four year old behavoir that happens to be a bigger isuse with soem of our kids .