over reacting or denial

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I apologize if I am double posting I thought I had written this but cant find it..........okay so my ten year old son has a few things but I wonder if I should get a diagnosis or what.If I do what happens nest,meds? Will he be labelled by his peers,will his teachers be more patient or expect trouble? He is socially troubled,doesnt have friends.He doesnt like change.We will go to the park and he will walk around alone or beg to go home.He is a very picky eater BUT doesnt want to be.He sees his brother eating all kinds of foods and wishes he could be like that.He talk to adults much better than other kids.He toe walk sometimes and "flaps" sometimes when excited.
Saying this....is this enough? I know that sounds weird but hubby says why label him.I see the teenage years coming and just want to make my childs life as easy as possible.Please any relies would be great.

My ex asked the same thing about my son. My response was: "You're already labelling him - as a bad kid." Teachers, other kids, and you as his parents, *will* label him - I think it would be better to find a label that is accurate and provides both a description so you understand why he's doing certain things (rather than accusing him of being lazy, uncooperative, over-sensitive, careless, etc, etc, etc) AND provides a starting place to find workarounds for him.

There are no meds for aspergers. There are some for some related issues such as ADD, depression, and others. What helps most from having a diagnosis is that you can ask for and get accommodations - things like keyboards for taking notes if he has trouble handwriting, or extra time for tests, or an aide to help him in class, or whatever he needs. You can also find out about specific social skills training or other things that might help him. There's a lot of resources - depending on where you are.

Mostly, it will help you understand him better - and that's always helpful to a parent. Good luck with it.

The advantage of a diagnosis is that you will now know what to expect, what kind of help you need, etc. Why label? Already done, as Anna has said.

dx=ability to ask for (and hopefullyreceive) more supports at school

why get it? because it helps your son for when he is an adult. to start now helps him later in life so he can cope with who he is and make friends within his own level. he deserves this. why label.. its not a lable.. its a diagnosis. no one labels somone with cancer? as for the teachers I can tell you mine walk around with kids gloves sometimes when i am about.. my son is Classified as learning disabled in school. which entitles him to services he would never get if he was not CLASSIFIED.. a child deserves this... to be entiteld to a better quality of life.. start young and he has a leg up.. he will forever hold it against you later when he knows that you knew there was something amiss with him but you never wanted to label him... the services he will get will help all of you understand eachother better!

C

Thanks for replies...I didnt mean to make it sound like I didnt want to bother with a diagnosis,I just meant that I am saddened when I think of him being centered out in school and others knowing he is different.Its not like he has any academic trouble,his symptoms are few.How do I put this....its like he has really mild AS....I know that isnt the correct term but that is how hubby feels....like is this really necessary...maybe this is the denial part,but I see my nephew and it is obvious with him.With my son it is like its hidden and he doesnt talk or seem to be aware of any differences.I told him what I was learning about on the puter and that it is called Aspergers and it may be something he has and he said I humiliated him.He doesnt want to be any different.Yikes....I believe Im ranting....I am scared

Instead of presenting it as 'something he has', perhaps looking at the benefits as well as the difficulties might help. There are plenty of people in the past who are believed to have been Aspies - Einstein and Turing, for example.

If he's not having any troubles, then there's little reason to worry. If he is having troubles, then talking with someone about that and finding out what's going on might be helpful to you all.

Keep in mind that all kids go through hell in middleschool, not just aspies. So, he might be fine. Or he might not. In either case, letting him know that you love him and you're proud of him and that you recognize his good qualities is important, regardless of whether you also acknowledge his difficulties.

Good luck.

Trust me, they already know. If there's one thing kids have a nose for, it's differences, no matter how slight.



It took awhile for us to tell our son. We told him slowly, and basically only gave him the positives - and put a positive spin on any accomodations he saw coming his way at school.

My son was also 10 when he was diagnosed. It was hard, it was scary, and there were more than a few tears (when he wasn't around). But then I got down to the job of finding out what it would take to make his life better.

Not taking steps to help him, however your husband may feel about them today, you will regret for the rest of your life.

Great advice.

I saw an article today that might also be useful:

http://www.aspires-relationships.com/ar ... nts....htm

What an excellent piece!! I'll be sharing it on the other sites I visit!