Studies Reveal Why Kids Get Bullied and Rejected (LiveScienc

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Studies Reveal Why Kids Get Bullied and Rejected (LiveScience)

Kids who get bullied and snubbed by peers may be more likely to have problems in other parts of their lives, past studies have shown. And now researchers have found at least three factors in a child's behavior that can lead to social rejection.

The factors involve a child's inability to pick up on and respond to nonverbal cues from their pals.

In the United States, 10 to 13 percent of school-age kids experience some form of rejection by their peers. In addition to causing mental health problems, bullying and social isolation can increase the likelihood a child will get poor grades, drop out of school, or develop substance abuse problems, the researchers say.

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As a child I was so much in my own little world I had no concept of body language and social cues. If anything I am hyper-vigilant and tend to over interpret now. I was ignored as a child by my peers and have had many of the later in life problems listed, including substance abuse.

I was either teased, verbally bullied, or rejected in grade school, and now I'm addicted to energy drinks. You know...Speed in a Can.

I posted a somehow similar point of view here: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp2585942 ... t=#2585942

There's a simple solution that would end bullying: Kick bullies out of school. Is that so hard?

There is always a well-known solution to every human problem--neat, plausible, and wrong.
H. L. Mencken, Prejudices: Second Series, 1920
US editor (1880 - 1956)

Well maybe not necessarily kick them out, but doing *something*.

I so often hear about kids getting beat up at school, and the parents confront school officials about it, yet the bully does not get punished. Why not? When I was in elementary school a couple of decades ago, maybe I was just clueless, but I didn't notice bullying going unpunished. In fourth or fifth grade a student brought a knife to school and threatened someone. We never saw him again... They didn't seem to have much trouble kicking him out.

I know there are other subtle forms of bullying, but I really don't understand how kids get away with what is downright assault. If adult punches someone in the face, they go to jail for assault. Yet if a kids does it, shrug, "oh well, that's life".

BlueMage: I agree completely.

Just to add, I didn't read the study however i read their conclusions and disagree. from my experience the bulling happens because someone is different and appears weak (this is a game of numbers of course, one can be smart or strong but if is alone...). It is the same behavior that animals have just translated in social realm.

Well, this is in the Parents' Discussion because it's about what parents can do for their children, not what can be done to bullies. It's not about the bullies.

i can see how this study might be abused to lay more blame on the victim of bullying. "why was s/he bullied? because s/he has no social skills...." it wouldn't really be the point of the study to conclude that, i think. but i can see the mistake happening easily.

on the other hand---i could have used some of this training as a child. i can see where it might have helped.

i don't think bullies specifically go after children "without social skills" as such. i think they go after anyone with a vulnerability. one aspect of "lacking social skills" (as they call it) is also a lack of assertiveness. that may be the vulnerability to bullying---that and the lack of social skills can lead to isolation, which in turn leads to vulnerability.

but to say that one directly leads to the other---lack of social skills leads to bullying---i think that's a little misleading.

The criteria for bullying seem to match very closely to the AS behaviors. As I remember, other kids were aggressive and superficial in what they considered desirable. For the AS group handling people is a bit like NTs handling chimps. It takes training to read their signals and manage their aggressive tendencies and if you don't do it right, your hand gets bitten off. I think that, as a behavioral spectrum, "normal" people lie somewhere between AS and chimps.

It seems to me that a major part is the bully. They get into that alpha male role and abuse that position. They aren't taught to follow the rules society imposes to keep peace. Albeit, the parents have a part to the problem, but if you take a look at the school system, they have a larger part to play. Because of legal issues, the authority for a teacher or other administrator has been reduced to practically nil. As such, the bullies realize they have carte blanche to do what they will. This may often cause these bullies to become criminals, cops, or politicians-I include lawyers in here too.

I came across this little article I figure may shed a little insight. Things they don't teach you in school

I guess that's why I did well in Air Force schools than civillian schools. At the off base schools I was teased, beaten, ambushed... It wasn't untill I got really upset and threw a desk at the antagonist-kid hitting me-that the stuff subsided. Word got around that I was "unstable" and that I was a geek. Stay away from this freak!

I know of a couple of bullies from school. One is a cop, one became a prison guard, and the other guy has been in and out of jail and is homeless living in a camper in his sisters driveway. Another was killed in a bad drug deal, and the dickwad I hated the most died of AIDS in 87. Someone mentioned he was shooting heroin.

Oh, the cop, he came under investigation for using his authority to get sex from prostitutes. Turns out that he was looking the other way when two other cops were doing that. I still think he was a douche.

/rant

OK, no flaming please but I have a somewhat different perspective.

My stepson (S) is 10 and I am positive he has AS though my husband doesn't want to have him screened even though the school *really* wants him to be.

Now, S is a great kid in many ways but I can understand why he is targeted by bullies.

He often comes across as a very arrogant know it all and will get very argumentative, even with teachers who don't always have time to argue every little point with him. He'll say thing like "How DARE you talk to me that way!".

He will bring his special interest (trains) into each and every "conversation" although it is really just him going on and on in a monologue about all the little technical minutia of all the different types of locomotives (for example)...when I contribute to a conversation with him, he often ignores what I've said and continues on with his own thoughts.

He often seeks out the company and attention of adults, even at school, and often runs to them to tattle on other kids who are doing things "against the rules". Yet he gets furious if other kids complain to him that he is doing something against the rules.

He once came home excited because kids had been sliding around on an ice puddle in the playground and he thought it was dangerous so he went and told the playground monitor who didn't think it was a safety issue so S went and took a bucket of gravel and sprinkled it all over the puddle so no one would get hurt. He thought he was doing a good thing and when I asked him if the other kids appreciated him spoiling their fun, he just looked sad and confused.

He wants to play kickball with the other kids on the playground but he doesn't know how to go about it, so he doesn't get on a team, he just stands out in the outfield and fields a ball if it comes to him. He'll never take a turn at "bat" though.

He often assumes that he's being bullied, even when he's not, and will often be the aggressor because he feels that someone is making fun of him. He can not STAND to be teased, even in a friendly way. When he gets wound up, he can be physically aggressive, and has the same expectations of a 1st grader, that he'd have of a 4th grader. We've been called to the school by the after school program because he exhibits behaviors that qualify as "bullying" according to their code of conduct.

I can tell you from my own experience, as someone who LOVES this kid, that there are times he pushes my buttons so hard, and is SO unlikable, that I can really understand why he gets bullied. I am at a loss as to how to help him. In so many ways it seems like just his personality and no matter how many times I explain why these behaviors won't win him any friends, he continues doing them.