Why does he do wierd things? Why? I don't understand

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AspieSon
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19 Apr 2010, 4:44 pm

My 6 year old son has had odd behavior for a few years. Now that he's been diagnosed with AS, SID and hypotonia, I know that it is his coping mechanism (for something), but I really don't understand. The last 3 weeks he takes both hands and licks all 10 fingers and palms at once. Then he rubs his eyes or feet or any part of his body. It's like he's a cat cleaning himself. He repeats and repeats like it is uncontrollable and subconcious. I ask him why and he says his hands are dry or his feet are dry or his eyes itch. I think he makes up a reason just to say something. I don't get it. Is this typical for Aspies? Is it a tic? Is it OCD? Can anyone explain this to me?



Caitlin
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19 Apr 2010, 4:56 pm

One of the things I have learned from my 6 year old Aspie son, is to really hear him. So...while it is entirely possible your son is 'making something up', I have found with my own son that it is always best to take them at their word and work from there. So... if he's saying his skin is dry and his eyes itch, you might want to start by using only a non-drying, super moisturizing soap or body wash for bathing, followed by a nightly moisturizing routine with a non-chemical lotion like glaxal base, or even one that is thought to help kids on the spectrum with epsom salts like this one: http://www.kirkmanlabs.com/ViewProductD ... [email protected]. Do that for several weeks religiously, and see if it affects the behaviours you described.

My son's eyes are often dry and red, to the point where we took him to an eye doctor. They said his eyes were fine but he doesn't blink enough - he's so focussed visually, that he blinks 1/4 of the times that the average person does, and that's causing his dry eyes.

Just a few suggestions to consider :)


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DW_a_mom
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19 Apr 2010, 5:01 pm

I agree with Caitlin; there is usually something behind these behaviors and your son is trying to tell you what it is, but may only have a limited understanding of his underlying motivations himself, and may also look at things in a way that is very confusing to you. His is still, most likely, a truthful answer, just normally one made in a sort of code that you are left to decipher. Odds are he is trying to address a real comfort issue with a method that may actually be counterproductive, so helping him sort it out will benefit both of you in the long run.

Or maybe he just likes the way wetness feels on his skin ;)

Good luck solving the mystery.


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Caitlin
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19 Apr 2010, 5:06 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:
Or maybe he just likes the way wetness feels on his skin ;)



In which case, being able to look forward to nightly baths or showers, plus regular trips to a swimming pool several times a week may also help. There's almost always a solution... once you figure out the problem :)


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ValMikeSmith
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19 Apr 2010, 7:43 pm

Unless he is always a liar, why isn't his answer believable (why is it "made up") ?
It makes perfect sense ... unless ...

Do you have cats that he learned this from?
If so, has he eaten cat food recently?
If so, did he give a ridiculous reason that had nothing to do with cats doing it
nor pretending to be a cat or whatever?

If he does always make up things about why he does things,
are they always so well explained and usually unbelievable?

If he is truthful, it won't be long before everyone starts calling him a
"conspiracy theorist". People used to come to me for answers but
recently those same old people have been saying things like,
"I don't believe that. Show me a video or shut up!"
(What does video prove? Santa Clause? Flying reindeer?
THAT WAS SHOWN ON THE NEWS LAST CHRISTMAS!)



wendigopsychosis
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19 Apr 2010, 7:44 pm

Not a parent, but this thread caught my eye as I did the exact same thing when I was younger.
Your son might just be doing it because it feels nice (in which case, don't worry, just make sure he washes his hands regularly), but my bet is that he's doing it for the same reason I did it, and for the reason he says he's doing it: his hands/feet are dry and his eyes itch.
I still suffer from chronic dry skin, but when I was little I had no idea what it was or how to deal with it, I just knew that my hands were dry and they felt weird and I needed to get them wet. Somehow spit was more comforting, I think because it was more gooey and it took longer to dry. I also used to rub my eyes like crazy until I had to train myself out of it (makeup...).
I recommend lotion and eye drops :)
If he doesn't like eye drops (I know I sure didn't), then I'd talk to his eye doctor. I'm no expert, so maybe there's something else that can be done for chronic dry eye.
If it's not that, then he's probably just rubbing his eyes because it feels good (I'll admit I still do this sometimes, after my makeup's washed off and my contacts are out, of course). If that's the reason, I wouldn't worry, he'll more than likely be fine. I beat the heck out of my eyes when I was a kid and nothing bad ever came of it, at least...


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AspieSon
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20 Apr 2010, 8:12 am

It does seem like what wendigopsychosis said. "Somehow spit was more comforting, I think because it was more gooey and it took longer to dry." He'll sometimes just lick his hands period. When he licked his hands and then his feet it was just 10 min after his bath. I don't think he is capable of lying. But sometimes he wants to make an acceptable reason for doing it. I'll try keeping lotion on his hands. Maybe he won't like the taste of the lotion.



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20 Apr 2010, 9:16 am

I recommend Vasiline. It is a very thick hydrocarbon derived from petroleum. I have dry skin and it does wonders for me. It is also less gooey and uncomfortable then typical lotions. Also, simply wetting your hands with water really doesn't help. It just evaporates off in 5 or 10 minutes and makes your skin drier then before which can lead to an endless loop. Go with the Vasiline instead.



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20 Apr 2010, 10:24 am

Yup, what everybody above said. My sons have seasonal allergies and mild eczema. Their skin and eyes get dry and itchy. A good mild lotion that doesn't leave him feeling greasy or have a strong scent, and teaching him how to dampen a washcloth with cool water to hold over his dry eyes for a few minutes may help. Most often the "odd" behavior has a logical origin even when it doesn't appear as if it does.



PenguinMom
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20 Apr 2010, 11:32 am

I agree with the above, usually when my kids do really strange things there is a physical reason for it. Try the lotion, use a very hypoallergenic brand, like California Baby or J/a/son and see if that helps. Maybe see if he will rub the lotion on himself rather than lick.

This year is supposedly extraordinarily bad for allergies, people who noramlly don't have them experience symptoms, so dry itchy skin may be seasonal.

Good luck



0_equals_true
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20 Apr 2010, 11:48 am

Why assume he is not telling the truth? it is sensory.

watch this
http://www.youtube.com/user/alin0stegli ... mr10kkgJPo



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25 Apr 2010, 2:01 am

Well it could be that he actually feels dry. Certain medications can certainly cause dryness.

Make sure he's getting enough fluids and try giving him some hand lotion (non-toxic).

It theoretically could be a tic but it'd be a fairly complex one as far as tics go. It could be OCD as well...but Children with AS usually say it how it is so if he says he feels dry I'd take his word for it.



Chronos
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25 Apr 2010, 2:02 am

Well it could be that he actually feels dry. Certain medications can certainly cause dryness.

Make sure he's getting enough fluids and try giving him some hand lotion (non-toxic).

It theoretically could be a tic but it'd be a fairly complex one as far as tics go. It could be OCD as well...but Children with AS usually say it how it is so if he says he feels dry I'd take his word for it.



AspieMom3
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25 Apr 2010, 3:49 am

I have 3 children on the spectrum, As am I . I have found at least with my 2 youngest that they are extremely honest and it they can find the words to tell you why they are doing something I would listen closely. My oldest is putting lotion on through out the entire day. And my middle child has to constantly have something in her month. ( She chews here finger nails past the quick ) I won't love some advice on this one as I have tried a lot of things and still have not found the answer .

I hope this helps
AspieMom3



adora
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26 Apr 2010, 5:20 am

OMgosh, I kinda remember me doing something slightly similar, to downright the same.
I did it because my hands and/or feet just felt too dry, in lieu of lotion or water on hand, I'd spit. I also kinda liked the cool feeling too afterward
Looking back, I don't think I actually ever asked anyone for lotion lol. Get him some Vaseoline lotion, maybe that will help calm him.



AspieSon
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26 Apr 2010, 8:51 am

He does it so quickly, I'm not sure he even knows he does it. I saw him put both hands in his mouth, then quickly touch his toes, all within 2 seconds. It looks so strange. Since he is SIDs he is so sensitive to smells, I tried 6 lotions and can't stand any of them - even scent free. He refuses to wear them.