2+E and at the end of my rope

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It'd be illegal to leave them at home and call it homeschooling even if they were mature enough to do it, which they aren't.

Their grades won't suffer, not even a little. They could get straight A's with about an hours worth of effort a week the curricula is dumbed down that much. I think most kids of average intelligence can do the entire school weeks worth of learning in three hours if they actually get down to it..but that's because they need so much repitition. Most of the school day is spent on behavioral stuff not instruction, getting from place to place, waiting for kids to settle down. Most homeschoolers need very little time to get through required subjects, and then have tons of time for special interests. Sadly that's not an option for us. If it was I'd really like to do some of these extension programs with the kids. They are already way past me in some subjects, but I could learn with them. The two little guys would love to be in the same grade together and work as a team. They are two years apart but Middle son got held back in K for AS related pottying issues, and Little Guy should skip ahead. Oh, well. If wishes were fishes...

Our state requires homeschoolers to put in so many hours a day, so many days a week...which ironically some counties aren't doing anymore. Peach County GA now has a four day school week because they can't afford five.

sounds like the next step is to find a lawyer then. you may be able to find one willing to do pro bono work, or there are often places that will provide free or sliding scale services. sometimes just the threat of bringing in a lawyer will get them moving. if you cant find one, find a local news station. a school that is refusing to give services to a child with a diagnosed disability?? thats something newsworthy. not the best route to take it to the media, but if it gets your child what they need, it may be worth it.

make sure the principal is aware that you have been waiting for a mtg since august. thats unacceptable.

it sounds like this all needs to escalate. the teacher, principal, gifted coordinator, asst principal.... none of them are doing what they need to do, for both your kids. is there someone at the district level you can contact? or at the state level?

Hey Kiley, I know the G.E.D. / Community College route doesn't look that good at first, but when you just get your transfer degree at the CC you can transfer to a bigger school. I moved up to NC to get out of the area of GA(simply HATED it there, the intolerance and ignorance were overwhelming) and they have a transfer program over here that automatically accepts you into a NC state school if you get the transfer credits. After that, it's like starting that school as a junior where you have knocked out all your gen ed classes for cheap. (I am currently going on this route and plan on becoming a physical therapist)

If I hadn't done that route I probably wouldn't dislike it. It's not that it's so awful or anything but it's not a good path toward the kinds of specific careers my guys want to do. Marine Biology is not an easy field to break into and a GED/CC degree isn't gonna get him there.

There is only so much I can do. I have to grieve, let it go, and get on with life.

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make sure the principal is aware that you have been waiting for a mtg since august. thats unacceptable.

it sounds like this all needs to escalate. the teacher, principal, gifted coordinator, asst principal.... none of them are doing what they need to do, for both your kids. is there someone at the district level you can contact? or at the state level?[/quote]

Again, all good ideas that I've tried. I can't afford the lawyer and I don't think that'd really work in the end,not with the local politics. No lawyer is going to go up against his buddy at the BOE. In this part of the world things don't always work the way you'd think. The principal knows, the vice principal knows. They've all been in the loop since day one.

That sucks. It's wrong. What drove them to that? Time to hit some board meetings and talk about what other, more successful districts are doing.

Your son's teacher should be fired for some of the things she said per one of your earlier posts. If that can't be done, you should have the right to move your child out of that classroom. That you don't boggles my mind. I know it can get all crazy with parents all requesting the most popular teachers, but there are reasonable ways to put a lid on that which do NOT involve arbitrary lotteries. Our school recognizes that different teachers mesh well with different kids, and all the children are very carefully placed in the classrooms based on a whole variety of factors, including which teaching style they are most likely to thrive under. Fifth grade we've got two incredibly gifted but highly opposite teachers both with unique styles that can be a gift from heaven or the curse from hell depending on any given child's needs and I cannot imagine anyone trying to sort that out by lottery. Our way 95% of the time we get matches that result in a life of remembering the best teacher ever, and only rare frustration that it wasn't a very good year (the hell matches are thankfully 100% avoided). No, we cannot "request" a particular teacher, but we can request everything around it that would make the selection obvious to those with the pencils in hand making the final choice. I know a district can't hand the parents power to pick teachers for a whole variety of reasons (not the least of which is that we don't always even know which teacher will be best for our kids) but someone should be making informed decisions on matching personalities and style so that each child is well placed.

The lottery policy alone is creating issues that do not need to exist and it needs to go. Take it the school board. Unless they have a huge percentage of horrible but protected teachers, they cannot have a good reason for that policy. Sure, it makes things easier for them, but it does not make things better, and a school district should strive to provide the best education possible. Want me to get a letter from our school board on it? I know the president of the board, and I know our district superintendent. They would consider your district's policy lazy and nuts, although they would tactfully avoid saying it that way. Smart educators know that education is a very individual thing, and that the personalities and styles of both the teacher and the child matter, and that matching them well benefits everyone.

As for homeschooling, I know YOU can't. What I was suggesting was working with another family who can, and finding a way to share the load that does not involve you missing work.

That sucks. It's wrong. What drove them to that? Time to hit some board meetings and talk about what other, more successful districts are doing.

Ha ha, we ARE the bigger more successful school district. Ironic isn't it.


As for homeschooling, I know YOU can't. What I was suggesting was working with another family who can, and finding a way to share the load that does not involve you missing work

It's against the law to homeschool other people's children in GA. I can hire a professional tutor but can not have another parent teach my kids and visa versa.

Well, I will say that you all have come up with many creative and innovative ideas. Although none of them are untried or viable, it sure does confirm to me that I really truly haven't left any stone unturned, and that is a comfort. I may have failed, but not through lack of effort.

Have you considered filing a Due Process complaint for the failure to give your kids fair treatment and access to agreed education? That doesn't cost anything to do here, but I don't know about where you are.

It probably wouldn't help and would just make things worse. If my kid got another teacher like the one last year they'd just take it out on them. Since we have a strict lottery system I have no way to predict or protect them. The benefits don't seem to outweigh the risks, but that is the one option I've not tried.


Unless some of these folks that keep saying they will do something spontaneously actually decide to do something legal action is about all there is. I think it's gone past the Moderator, or what is it they call that person who solves stuff instead of going to court...ugh, you know. Anyway, I think my fight is done unless I go the legal route.

Hi Kiley,

I really feel for you as I have been in a very similar situation with my oldest son, who is also 2E. First I would suggest a resource, which you may already know about--the website, Hoagie's Gifted. I found this a great resource to get some ideas of what other people in my situation have done. One idea I took from that sight, and that I have found very helpful, is to try to accept that no school placement is going to be perfect and the best situation for your child may change from year to year. This means that every year we end up going back to the drawing board and looking at our options and figuring out what might work the best this year.

I had to take my 2E son out of his public school at the end of third grade because, according to the psych who first tested him, he was becoming clinically depressed because of his school placement, specifically because of the hostile treatment he was experiencing from the teacher he had that year. Like some of the other posters have said, the teacher makes such a difference.

For fourth grade we sent him to a Montessori school, which he loved, but, because of his ADHD and his giftedness, this ended up being a less than ideal placement. Basically his dysgraphia and working memory problems make it very hard for him to do arithmetic so he thinks he hates math. He is usually a very sweet, charming, funny kid and was able to sort of benignly manipulate his teacher into letting him sit in the corner and read most of the day, while avoiding math pretty much completely. He did come up with some neat inventions and led the other kids to make their own system of currency and to build some really interesting constructions. Still, it wasn't a good permanent placement, but it did give him a year to recharge and luckily he was able to pretty quickly make up the lost academic ground.

The next year, I was able to get him and his brothers, one of whom likely has AS, into a local 'college prep' private school. I did this by becoming a teacher at the school which meant I could get one kid's tuition for free and the other two for half price. It was hard for us financially because I could have made about twice as much teaching in public schools and it also was far from perfect--his teachers had little or no education or knowledge on the needs of the gifted or on learning disabilities, but, still, it was more relaxed than public, while still having pretty high academic standards, and allowed the kids to have a lot of time outside. Of course another huge benefit was that I was able to watch over all three of my sons much more closely and they all loved having me as part of his school day. We stayed at this school for two years.

Finally, last year we moved halfway across the country, from Texas to Massachusetts, in large part because I was desperate to find better schools so that I could also go forward in my own career. ( Ironically, I am as yet unemployed, but I do feel that once I have a job, I will be much happier because the schools hear seem to expect more from their teachers and take them much more seriously, as professionals.)

And we have been much happier. The schools still aren't perfect and I have still had to negotiate accommodations. But, both of my older sons have IEP's and we have all felt that, overall, the public schools here are like night and day compared to where we lived before. In fact, I would say that the public schools are significantly better than the private schools in our previous town. The teachers and administrators take learning disabilities and giftedness seriously and, for the most part, consider both to be learning differences, which is, as I used to teach gifted kids and believe that they simply learn differently and have different needs than their more academically average counterparts, how they should be treated. Hopefully if this outlook were more common, gifted kids wouldn't suffer so much from discrimination and NT kids who are more average learners wouldn't be seen by some as less valuable

So, sorry for writing practically a book, but I wanted to kind of give an idea of some of what we have tried and how it has worked out for us. I also wanted to emphasize that, in my experience, public schools vary greatly in the U.S., especially between states.

Again, I'm really sorry that you and your children are having such a difficult time.

"I have to grieve, let it go and get on with life." - Kiley

Kiley you are right. You are a human being and you have more than your fair share of stress. It sounds like your school district has some assinine policies. It seems like your coordinator has her head up some purple unicorn's butt. It sounds like your son has the misfortune of being placed with someone who has no business interacting with children, let alone being put in charge of their education.

Above and beyond this you have to deal with the stresses of your eldest son, who you say is facing hospitalization.

If time, money, and energy were infinite resources then there is lots you could do. Time, money, and energy are not limitless. You are one person. From what I can tell you have done all that you can. Write this teacher off and do what you can to ensure next year you get a better one. Focus your energy on helping your little guy survive the year with some shred of self esteem intact, and give yourself enough leeway so you can focus some energy on the path you need to take with the eldest child.

I feel for you. You have had one truly terrible school year! At this point I think all I can offer is symapthy.

Sorry, I can't be of any real help.

edit to include: I am in awe of you. From what you say you have already demonstrated patience, persistence, effort, and reasoning well beyond what I think I could handle. You are a great mom.

I just want to second Penguin Mom. It does sound like you have worked really hard and one person can only do so much.

I guess I should have said, "more successful with unique kids." I'd say being the biggest, "most successful" (usually test scores) school district may be the problem: they figure they don't have to do a dang thing, because everyone wants to be there anyway. And, well, if you go, someone else will grab the spot. But many school districts get that "success," in my view, strictly by the luck of being where the higher IQ and motivated families are, so the success often has about nothing to do with the policies or the teaching. It is taking a school like ours with a very challenging demographic and scoring well in spite of that that marks true success, but given it is near impossible to quantify without digging in and spending time in each community, the districts like yours just continue to sit back and say, "well, we've got the scores. Go away." A lot of special needs kids bang on the doors of our district, coming out of the neighboring higher scoring (and flat out wealthier) districts because our district has actually learned how to teach kids on an individual child basis. ALL the kids in the school are richer for it, and I've seen a huge sea change of community attitude in the last 7 years, where now EVERYONE wants to be in OUR school and our district. Before that, the snobs were all over the test scores and the demographics and wanted to be everywhere else.

Lol, sorry, my rant

I wish there was more we could offer you. Sometimes there just isn't anything a parent can do, and the job becomes damage mitigation. Cry a little, give yourself a break, and move on. Things will work out more or less. You really have done the absolute best you could have.

DW_a_mom,

I know this is kind of off topic, but...

I found your description of your school district very interesting, because we have been told repeatedly since we moved, that our new school district isn't nearly as good as the neighboring, extremely wealthy districts. And my husband and I have been really puzzled about this, because both of the schools our sons go to seem to have great teachers who are really well educated on how to support learning, whether the child's learning style is typical or not. When we ask people to explain why the neighboring school systems are better, they either can't say why or they point to test scores.

Our district, however, is both larger and more diverse, both ethnically and in terms of learning differences, giftedness, etc. Anyway I just thought that was very interesting--that it may be that people really aren't looking that deeply into what makes a good school.

Hey Kiley I forgot about this but my little brother went to Fulton science academy and T.E.A.C.H. I dont know how close you are to exit 11 on 400 but on old milton parkway there is a very good science and math school where the children and teachers are very welcoming to all types. its at the reindhart college.

Kiley, sorry for the divergence ...

That sounds very much like the experience we had when we started here. It was a tough sell to get families to stay in the local school. People assume that a diverse demographic slows the top kids down, believing the whole class will have to pace slower, but I really have not seen that. What I have seen is my NT daughter learning math theory in depth as she tries to help a struggling transfer student, learn how to precisely define words she knew how to use but maybe didn't strongly understand so that she could help out an English language learner, walk away with pride when those students finally "get" it, and blow us away with her high scores on the state testing. I had also seen my AS child (now graduated and in middle school) thrive and gain the respect of his peers, and really find his joys. There are grants and other resources for pulling out and helping the language learners, just as there are for special ed students. Teach to the top to keep all kids excited, and provide support through one on one pull outs for the areas where specific students struggle. Allow the students to help each other. It really works.

The turn around in reputation has been some brilliant marketing, really. Fund raising begets marketing, and marketing begets fund raising. When we get people onto our campus for an exciting event, they see what the community is like, and have the opportunity to hear from families what their own test scores are like, and from the kids how they feel about school. It also gets the attention of the local news agencies, and reporters come down and share the excitement of the community. There are still people who only look at the test scores and don't understand what is behind them, but we've got a wait list for this year's K class, so if they want to go elsewhere, they can. We have a school choice district and people are choosing this school because of the community and the spirit, and people who choose that will work to grow it. It takes a different type of family to go against the grain, but those are also the types of families that are most likely to accept and include our AS kids. School is and always will be a very individual thing.