Messy writting, Tying shoes

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Random thoughts:

Or skipping... in the early 80's, the ability to skip was held to be a developmental milestone a child should achieve by the time they entered kidnergarten. Anyone else remember this?

I could skip by the time I was seven... about the same age I finally learned to tie my shoes, although I vastly preferred shoes that were somewhat dressier so I did not have to tie them at all. I liked to wear the little girl equivalent of loafers... not only did I not have to tie them, but my feet wouldn't get as hot and sweaty as they did in tennis shoes. I hated that.

By the time I was in college, I started wearing boots and still prefer them. I can practically lace footwear in my sleep now, and besides, it helps me not turn my ankle. Although I've grown used to tripping over things and so on, I've never liked it. It is both embarassing and undignified.

Well do I remember the development of a large writer's callus... on the first joint of the middle finger of my dominant hand (the right, in my case). I was in second grade by the time it fully developed. I noticed that it made writing much less uncomfortable, and so I was glad to have it. Over summer breaks the callus would shrink, and so writing in any quantity would be somewhat uncomfortable at the start of a school year until it fully grew back (this process usually took less than a month). My handwriting is legible and no letters are transposed, but it is rather angular and spiky... not the round bimbo-looking palmer script which children are trained to use. I used to get ragged for it endlessly. When I was a child, there was a fashionable theory in education that a child's handwriting was capable of improvement until they finished 6th grade, at which point it supposedly "set". Because of this, I got nagged at for my handwriting until I started seventh grade, at which point I heard no more about it.

I've always loved swimming. Not only is it fun, but once I'm in the pool, it is impossible for me to fall down and bust my ass! I most prefer pools whose masonry is smooth on the bottoms and sides... if it is somewhat rough, I can occasionally end up with a nasty scrape somewhere on my legs or feet.

I finally learned to ride a bike without training wheels when I was 9. I was one of the oldest kids in the neighborhood... and still the only one who didn't know how to ride without training wheels. What finally got me to learn was a combination of curiosity and embarassment. I was somewhat ashamed that I could not successfully ride a bicycle, and when I watched other kids who could, they seemed to be having so much fun. After spills uncountable, I finally learned how to balance on one.

My father was an elementary school principal, and my mother (before she quit and became a housewife) was a high school english teacher. Neither of them were uneducated or ill-informed regarding childhood development. When one coupled this pattern of delayed physical milestones with a very active mind and social difficulty, surely they suspected?

I had no learning disabilities. As a child in school, I routinely outperformed most other students in my classes... well, except for gym. In gym, I was hopeless. In everything else, I was considered gifted.

Perhaps, being human and with the capacity for hope which is general to humans, they thought I would outgrow it, in time? I wonder....

One of the first things our DS was dx'd with was dysgraphia. The AS dx was a while in coming. He learned to tie shoes last year. In part it is a small motor thing, the other part is the visual/spacial problem. We lived with slipons/velcro until then.

He did learn to ride his bike without trainers when he was about 4. But he'd get off that bike and his gait was so awkward you'd wonder how he could walk!

I've always had poor penmanship. My parents always attributed it to poor instruction when I was in school. In second grade when we were doing cursive writing, I had alot of trouble with it and needed extra help, but my teacher didn't want to give it to me. She basically thought for some reason I wasn't worthy of helping or anything else. This along with trying to separate me from the other kids made for a difficult year to the point where I didn't want to go to school.

My parents realized something was wrong, but weren't sure what until my former first grade teacher substituted for our class and I did find while I was there. This sent up a red flag with my parents and they had a conference with the principal and teacher. It was promised things would change and they did for about a week, then it went back to the way it was. My parents had enough and had me tested for another school and were planning to send me there the next year. They tried another conference first, but basically the school sided with the teacher who said it was her way or the highway, so we took the highway and transferred me to another school.

At the new school, my teacher gave me a crash course in cursive writing and although it did help, I never got very good at it and always got poor marks for penmanship. When I started off behind and became one of the top students in the classs, my parents knew then I wasn't the problem, it was the previous school and teacher.

I never did get good at cursive writing though and my printing isn't much better. My signature, if I don't make an effort, is pretty much a scribble. As for shoe tying, I had trouble holding the thin shoeaces of the dress shoes we had to wear with the uniform at one school, but could tie tennis shoes just fine because they had thicker laces that were easier to hold. It took practice, but I learned how to do it.

Just thought I'd add some feedback.

My son just learned to tie his shoes this year. He is in 9th grade. He ties them in a unique way. He makes the knot and then pokes the ends through the knot to make the "bunny ears".

As for riding a bicycle, he wouldn't let me take the training wheels off until his sister who is 3 years younger began riding her bicycle without training wheels. He now loves to ride and is perfectly coordinated on his bike.

Swimming/water issues - That was a nightmare when he was younger. We lived on a lake, so we began swim lessons very early and continued for many years. He couldn't stand to have water in his face. He absolutely refused to put his head under water. (This was also an huge issue in the bath with trying to wash his hair.) Again, he improved when his younger sister caught up to his swim class level. He couldn't let her get ahead of him! We have severe sibling isssues in this household (LOL).

Sports were not a good fit for him. We tried soccer, but he wouldn't go after the ball because he hated getting into the frey. He is in marching band and is actually doing very good at it. I didn't expect this beause of coordination issues. I couldn't figure out how he would be able to play his instrument while trying to pay attention to what his feet were doing, but for some reason it is working.

I almost forgot to mention that he is severly dysgraphic.

I remember back in middle school the teacher would give me zeros for not being able to read my handwriting. It was messy, but the main problem was that I hated pressing down on paper. For example, those carbon papers on the back of papers that you sign. My handwriting would be as light as the last sheet. Luckily, one day I got bored and taught myself calligraphy. I didn't have any more problems after that.

Tying my shoes was a problem for me too. My mom tried buying me velcro shoes, but I hate velcro with a passion. The feel and the sound of it *cringes*. Then one day some wonderful person showed me how to double-knot. I have to tie one shoe maybe every three or four months.

I can't swim or ride a regular bicycle. Several people have tried to teach me how to swim, but it never goes very well .

Although I know how to swim, getting me to learn was hard because I fought it every step of the way. I posted a story about it here and it's probably still in the archive. I wanted nothing to do with swimming at all and for a long time, my parents tolerated it and then one day that all changed and they started denying me everything else I enjoyed doing and cramming swimming down my throat.

My not knowing how never bothered me in any way in fact, it worked to my advantage is it gave my abusive siblings a reason to exclude me from being around them. I don't consider swimming to be all that important; I think someone is capable of doing just fine regardless of if they know how to swim or not.

I can't remember how my cursive writing was. I was taught cursive in 2nd Grade (1983/1984). I used it up until 8th grade and then once in high school, we were free to write anyway we were comfortable. I haven't used it since, about 16 years ago now. I just started printing because that what i liked best and my handwriting was neat, not messy. sometimes I would type my papers when i had too.

I never learned the proper way to tie my shoes either. I remember in Kindergarten my classmates used to help me with it. then i started wearing shoes with velcro. I only like to wear nylon sneakers. Hightops were becoming popular but i didn't want to wear them. Then in 8th grade i decided i wanted a pair, I got a pair of reebok hitops the weekend the Berlin Wall came down. My mom taught me a way to tie my shoes that was easier that she found out from a friend, to this day i still tie them that way.

I didn't learn to ride a bike until i was 12. When i was a little boy i used to ride a tricylce until i was too big for it. then i walked when i needed too.

I never buy my son shoes that tie... just velcro.

As far as handwriting: we homeschool, so I've let him type 80% of the time, but I am going to try to teach him cursive this year. He is capable of legible print if he concentrates, but it's definitely not pretty.