kindergarten

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As a possible Aspie with a possibly Aspie child starting kindergarten, I am wondering what I should say if the teacher notices quirkiness and suggests testing. Can I refuse it? Will they try to force it on my child? I don't want any limiting labels imposed on my offspring, who is a loving and brilliant person. Anyone having/had similar thoughts or experience with this?

They are most likely to suggest it if there is an actual problem, in which case I would hope you got a diagnosis for your child in order to help them.

I would also like to mention that it is my experience that having a diagnosis has helped more than hindered me.

Depending on where you are located they are pretty unlikely to recommend testing unless there are behavioral problems or academic limitations. You are probably safe for a few more years.

Agreed with all of the above.

If they start recommending testing, it will be because there is an academic limitation they cannot solve without a label. In which case, sorry, you get the label. Drop personal feelings and do what has to be done.

I much prefer schools label a child with a special need than that they ignore, yell at, stress, flunk and label as lazy a child. Or that they start questioning your parenting skills and the home environment you provide. There is no evil in the label by itself; what you want to know is, what happens next, what will the label be used for?

We've got a school use label, but not a medical one. It gets my son an IEP and all he needs in his school years, and goes "poof" when he grows up, if he wants it to.

My daughter was in Kindergarten last year. This so-called 'limiting label' turned out to be very helpful. While she went in without an IEP or 504 plan and did wonderfully in her academics, she did struggle with bullying which turned physical on a couple of occasions, and had a gym teacher who was intolerant at best of my daughter's difficulties with the chaos of PE. She now has a 504 plan, but this is all because I pushed for it and not because anyone recommended it. I don't believe a diagnosis of AS is necessarily a 'label' in the negative sense that comes through in your post. Knowledge is a tool that you can use to create a better life for your daughter. And without a diagnosis, if she has problems that needs addressed and is a result of the possible AS, you're up the creek without a paddle because they're just going to say, in so many words, that if every other kid can deal with it yours can, too.

Thanks, all. I was unaware that a child can receive a label for school use without a medical diagnosis. I don't want my child denied health insurance (or charged a prohibitively high rate) later in life, which is a main reason I am not seeking a "formal" diagnosis. Also, I don't think there's much the medical profession can, or should, do in our case. My child doesn't head bang or have meltdowns or major sensory issues; it's mainly just pedantic speech and social awkwardness (calls other kids "Kid" instead of by name, for example). Probably - hopefully - you are right that the teacher won't even suggest testing.

its not uncommon to see problems arise as the child grows, even when we think they arent in need of services. for instance, a 5 yr old entering kindergarten may have tantrums, bathroom accidents, problems with sharing, difficulty with transitions. when that same child is 10, and is still exhibiting those behaviors due to being on the spectrum, those things are no longer as "acceptable or typical" and become more of an issue. the social aspect of school will become more important as they age, thus making social skills deficits more noticeable and impairing. i tend to think this is one reason that aspergers is generally diagnosed at a later age, since the social skills are often the main impairment and those dont show as early as other classic autism traits like delayed language.

school itself offers a lot of challenges that our kids dont face in the first years at home. recess, lunch time, gym, those can all be sensory nightmares and cause difficulties for sensory sensitive kids. even just being surrounded by 25-30 other kids all day every day can cause some overload.

then there are mechanical issues that dont present themselves as a problem until school arrives. for instance, my son was never into drawing or coloring, so we had no idea the severity of his fine motor problems until he got to preschool and they started practicing writing their names every day. suddenly the need for OT was apparent, and it wasnt something we had even thought about before.

i guess i would just caution to keep your mind flexible on whether your child needs services, which often come with a school label, as that may really change over time. even a child who does fine in one situation or classroom may have difficulty in another, and it could be something as simple as the lighting in the room or the sound of a fan.

I should clarify a few things, since we all want to have as much of the correct information as possible:

1) Whether or not a district will issue a school use diagnosis will depend on policies in the district. We got told, "we can't make a medical diagnosis because we aren't doctors, so you will have to go get that for yourselves." Yet, the paperwork got marked and no one demanded the medical, so we went on our merry way.

2) I cannot guarantee the insurance companies et al will never find the school paperwork, or that no note will ever enter a doctor's file, even if there is no medical diagnosis. I can't guarantee that even if you carefully staying out of school special services, and never mention a concern to your doctor. To solve the insurance issue, our family already makes sure that we alwasy have eligibility for group plans, with pre-negotiated rates, and there are ways to do that even if you are self-employed. My husband's thyroid condition could probably kill our options before AS would. Under insurance reform, this whole worry about being denied or charged extra will, hopefully, eventually go away. BUT, WP recently had a father post about his AS being used against him in a custody case, so I'm not going to try to tell you that your concerns for her future with a label are without any basis. We don't know what these labels will do when our kids get past school and hit the job market; the prevelence is still far too young. I'll just remind you that sometimes we have to solve what is front of us today while crossing our fingers on what that means for tomorrow. It is going to depend on how urgent what one sees today becomes.

My son entered pre-k in the public school system at 3 yrs. old. He had a medical diagnosis before we even entered school. I certainly didn't want my child labeled at such an early age, but I had to do what was best for my son. It was the only way that we could afford therapy for him. He needed physical, speech and occupational therapy, and there was no way we could have afforded it going to private therapists. Now that he is 5, he is already in the system, and the school knows him well, and he is making wonderful progress. So far, he has only been in very small classes. This yr. he started special needs kindergarten and he only has 3 other kids in his class. He is getting so much one on one attention which is wonderful. The goal is to eventually mainstream him into a regular classroom, but to be honest, I am not sure if he will ever be able to be in a class with 25-30 kids, so we may end up homeschooling him later.

It sounds like your daughter is probably higher functioning than my son, but my advice is that if you know there are issues, then the sooner you let the school in on this, the better. She may be able to attend regular classes just fine, but if problems start to arise, then at least the school won't be in the dark about it.

Of course we all have to make decisions that are best for our children, so I am just putting my 2 cents in. I can just say that having an IEP in place for my son so soon was the best thing we could have done for him.

I think you should seriously reconsider your rationale for refusing to explore the possibility of an autism label. If your child is autistic, and is never allowed to be openly so, then she will have MUCH bigger problems than high insurance rates.

The only way to shift autism into the mainstream, where all our children are accepted and respected, is to start celebrating autism's gifts publicly. Time to come out of the closet.

Look into special ed policy in your area - speak to the Special Ed director for your school if you can. We are in the mid-west, and my son was given an autism label for the purpose of receiving services at school. We have not had him formally diagnosed and don't plan to unless it's necessary. The other option is some districts here use "developmentally disabled".

I hearitly agree with Caitlyn. The' label' will eventually happen, whether official or unofficial. Getting the correct diagnosis and the proper services as early as possible is key.
I've written about our experience with these topics (troubles in K, telling the school the diagnosis, etc.) in a couple of my blog posts is you are interested:

Aspergers: A Mom's Eye View
http://asdhelp.wordpress.com/

Well, the first week of kindergarten has come and gone for my grandson! I tell ya...it was a whirlwind. First day of school went great. Second day, he was held after class and the teacher (being 'nice') talked to his mom about his 'differences'. My son met with the teacher and speech therapist on the 4th day after school. That was not so good for my son. He said they just didn't seem to know what to do. His frustration was that they had my grandson's records from preschool...so why didn't they 'prepare' themselves for him.
Soooo...since my grandson passed all the 'screenings' for Kindergarten with flying colors...and his physical with the doctor, my son decided to take him to the university for an evaluation. It's a 4 month wait...but I am ok with that.
The school said they would do the evaluations...however they want another physical first. (he just had one 2 months ago..for getting into kindergarten). I think my son will stick with the University evaluation.
David's unique qualities are that he does quite well one on one. My son gave the teacher some ideas of what works with him (at the meeting on Thursday) and sure nuff...Friday went much better.
Regarding getting a 'label'....I think transitions from grade to grade will be much easier on David's parents...once a 'label' is there. I don't think it will make much difference otherwise.. because I think the teachers will continue to have to be educated on how to deal with David.
We're in week 2 now...spelling out what is going to take place, proximity control, and a few other things seem to be working thus far. YAY!

Elise