Need help re: clothing issues

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Hello,

My 4 year old aspie has recently started having clothing issues. He will not wear jeans, shirts with collars, buttons, or zippers. He REFUSES to wear any kind of jacket and we are in the Northern New York, so its starting to get cold. I have been doubling up on shirts, but that's only going to work for so long. Does anyone have any ideas? I thought about searching the internet for a heavy fleece pullover without zippers, buttons, or a hood. But thought I'd check here first.

Another thing, I bought him new sneakers, that look very much like his old ones, and he refuses to put them on! Any tips on that would be helpful to.

Thank you in advance for your help.

We went through one winter when my son wouldn't wear long sleeves and usually wouldn't wear jackets either. When it got very cold, however, he did. As long as the zipper wasn't against his skin, he was okay with the zipper. The thing was, he wasn't cold! Is your son cold? What did you do last winter? He is old enough that you may be able to reason with him, concerning the balance between preferences for no zippers and the need for warmth, especially since outerwear doesn't touch his skin, so it wouldn't feel like a zipper. My son still won't wear zippers, collars or buttons on his regular clothes (pants, shirts, etc) unless it's a "special occasion," and we have to talk about those endlessly ahead of time. He HATES clothes like that, and would rather, in most instances, miss the event than dress for it.

As to the shoes, when my son was that age, we used to take him shopping for shoes, and we'd encourage him to run in the store. We'd cheer and encourage him and tell him that the new shoes were making him run faster and jump higher. It tended to work. It was also true, since the old shoes cramped his feet so he couldn't run properly.

For years we simply went on the internet and ordered exactly the same shoes, next size up (at first we got them in the store, always the same, but then we had times they didn't have the size, and then my son went through a period of being unable to cope with being in the store ...).

Many AS kids have sensory issues and resist change. Do whatever it takes to make life easier for you and your child. Thankfully, some of this will prove to be temporary, so don't allow yourself to worry about setting a bad precedence or not teaching your child adaptability or anything like that; AS kids overcome these obstacles and needs when they are ready to, pretty much regardless of what you do, in my experience and from what I've read on this board, at least.

I think a fleece pullover with no offending features sounds like a good solution, but do have your child study the pictures first least he discover some new offense feature you hadn't thought of; reduce the odds of rejection as best you can to hopefully save some money. You'll never be eliminate rejection of your purchases; even the exact same shoe can feel differently in a new size on growing feet; but you can at least mitigate it.

Raising an AS child, you will learn to think more creatively about every day items than you ever thought possible.

My daughter has always been sensitive in terms of clothes. She will wear LL Bean, Hannah Andersson, and leggings from Lands End. If cold is a concern, I would suggest getting any type of long johns your child is comfortable with and layering over them as needed. The long johns are nice as they will protect the skin from unwanted textures and add extra warmth. When desperate, I have gone to Zazzle and purchased hooded sweatshirts featuring her special interest. Zazzle can be expensive, but it's worth it not to have the fight when she needs an extra layer of warmth. If he won't wear a jacket then you can get overall style snowpants. LL Bean has some fleece lined hooded sweatshirts. If you can find a really warm hat it'll go a long way in keeping a child warm.

We went through this too, to a lesser extent. What worked for my son was characters. I usually took him shopping with me and let him pick out what he liked, with guided choices of course. He would get so excited to see a Spiderman shirt or a Transformers sweatshirt that he would forget about his own preferences (to a point). With shoes I always had him try them on the store for a long time to see if they were comfy and to make sure they didn't leave any marks on his feet. We always bought him sneakers with laces and double-knotted them so he couldn't just yank them off at inappropriate times. We used to live near Syracuse so I know how cold it gets. Maybe he would rather boots - you're in them for half the year anyway up there . We are a very casual family and only dress-up for weddings and funerals, so some of this advice probably wouldn't apply to a more polished family.

I didn't wear jeans until grade 12 - denim timgles. Try the pseudo jeans made from cotton. Lose ones. Or Corderoy.

As for jackets, make sure the inside lining isn't that shiny material. When it brushes fingers it feels like it's tearing off your nails.
Button pockets may be a good way to "trick-banish" the button hate, longterm.
Does he have troble with lining up zippers? That might be a concern.

All in all, the best thing to do - the only thing to do - especially with shoes, is to set aside a day where you go to various stores with him and try on the shoes. Tell him beforehand exactly how many stores there are to visit (reduces the stress of shopping).

Tips on shopping:
When you get into the store, immediately pick 7 items off the shelf and ask him to try those 7 items. After those 7 items, if he hasn't found one he likes, leave the store, go to the next one. Knowing that there's a pattern and a defined way (trying on the 7 items) to get out of the store, will not only help you today but will help both him and you in the long run, as he gets used to the idea.

If he finds something that is a "maybe" or you're running out of stores, then your next stop should be for ice cream. While eating the ice cream tell him to think back at all the stuff he's tried on (he'll remember the good and sorta good stuff) and ask him which place, which jacket or shoes, was good. Chances are it will be easier for him to make a choice if he's NOT in a jacket/shoe store but rather chowing down on ice cream. Because now, he doesn't have all the choices staring him down. But he will remember tactile memories of the good choices.

Only problem is, he might forget the store name.

My kids are similarly picky about their clothes. Although they would wear coats. So far they only wear knit shirts with no tags and no collar, preferably 100% cotton. I only buy cotton sweaters for them as well. I try to buy soft nice hoodies and winter jackets for them. They both like their jackets to feel soft and nice inside, like faux fur or velvet. I know boys clothes don't have a lot of those options, but they do exist. I can also buy the fabric and sew a liner inside.

I found that if I just ditch the idea of fashion and focus on comfort alone, it's easy for me to find clothes they'd like.

Soft Clothing (www.softclothing.net) sells clothes specifically made for sensitive kids, including seamless and tagless shirts, pants, and socks. Soft is giving away a few pairs of jeans and socks on my blog in a few days if you want to check it out (www.welcome-to-normal.com).

Thank you everyone!! !! I appreciate all of your advice! He finally put his new sneakers on this week and so far, no problems.