Christian, Faith-Based View of Parenting Kids with Autism

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You're right. There aren't categories of autism, but there are different perspectives on the topic of autism.

Some people see autism as a "disorder' which we need to "defeat". Some people see autism as a gift. Some people see autism as a condition that should be mourned, both by parents and the people who experience it. Those are all different perspectives.

Some people who practive religion do certain rituals and therefore refer to themselves as religious people, but separate their "regular life" from their "spiritual life". In my way of seeing it, the only life there is is a spirtual life. (Of course this is MY view and I am not asking anyone else to believe it.) The way I believe, we have bodies- the part you see- and we have souls. Those souls are inside of people whether they're sitting in a church pew or they're sitting on a diningroom chair. In my way of thinking, God created people- their bodies and the souls inside of them- and he wants to be in relationship with them.

So, the point is, my way of thinking affects how I view autism. Because my underlying belief is that God created the person with autism and loves him or her unconditionally, he expects me to respect his creation and seek the best for that person, too.

And, to take it to another level, what anyone believes at the core and has experienced in his or her life will affect his or her perspective on things. So while there may be one label: Americans (for example)...an American who is black might have a much different perspective than an American who is Asian because, while all people are people, there are common threads that run among communities of people.

It's kind of like when I come to WP and someone who assumes I am NT says, "Autistic people are wired this way..." or "It's not like that for autistic people..." There is a commonality among autistic people, right? That's why people feel the need to add qualifiers like "Christian American" or "Muslim American", etc.

I know, I keep hearing this, but my son who very clearly is on the spectrum---classic, classic case with signs from infancy--- has always had a spiritual side to him. I know it might sound really freaky, but once when he was a toddler I was trying to get him down for a nap and he kept "playing" with someone I could not see. It was so strange, since he rarely played with us. It was starting to freak me out and even though I felt like a crazy person, I finally said, "I don't know who you are are, but you need to go now." He immediately stopped playing. Later, when he became verbal, he told me that "something was in his room at the old house".

That's not the only example. But if anyone ever wants to read an interesting book, check out "God and the Autism Connection"

Sigh...I know. But it makes me sad. I used to frequent an NFP message board and of course 99% percent of the women there were Catholic. They were some of the most devoted, faithful women (with a faith that is very "alive") that I have ever "met".

My daughter has done that too, and also has talked to people who aren't there. How can you assume that is spiritual in nature? Because your son was talking to someone who was not there, how does that extrapolate into him having "faith"?

I think as a parent who is a Christian it is impossible for you to NOT filter your perspectives through an illogical lens. A belief in God is subjectively true-that is not to say that it's untrue or wrong-just that it takes "faith" to believe in something that cannot be proven. It might be helpful to recognize it and the possibility that it may cause distress in your children some day. My adult brother with AS rebelled heavily against a world that he felt lied to him in many ways. It is a fine line we walk as parents-the easter bunny, santa, the tooth fairy-we know these are not real in the same way my brother "knows" god is not real. While NT children can adapt to finding out about "fairy tales" and understand their role in childhood, it has been my experience that some AS children react very, very angrily to the realization that what they were told was the "truth" has been based on what someone WANTED them to think because that was THEIR truth (which is an illogical concept). Truth is very important for these kids. And truth is not defined as something YOU know is real-it is defined as something that can be proven as fact. It is absolute and not subjective.

(disclaimer: I am not debating whether there is a god or not in any way and am not endorsing any certain veiwpoint)

I love discussions like these and I wish I could just sit here all day and discuss---I honestly do. Nothing has caused me to grow more than having calm, logical discussions with people who feel differently than I do.

I need to go pick my children up from school and then it will probably be mass chaos until bed time at which point my brain may be burnt out. But thank you for the food for thought and I intend to return.

I claim to have faith, but how could I, when God's existence is as clear as day? I have knowledge.

Don't despair. Aspies can be saved.

I don't think religion or God is an easy concept for alot of people, NT or autistic, to grasp. It is illogical, but there comes a point when you do "just know" in your heart that it is real. I think as parents it is our job to share our faith and raise our children in a way that is consistent in what we believe. When they become adults, it is their choice to continue it or not. When people say "How do you know God exists, you can't see him?" Well, you can't see LOVE, and we know that exists.........No one has seen God, but they have seen Jesus, even though it was over 2000 years ago, it is a fact that he existed and that he performed miracles when he was here. He was God who came in the flesh to show us His likeness. And Christianity has never died. It has been handed down for over 2000 yrs. It may sound like a fairy tale, but there is documented evidence that these events occurred.

Anyway, we all do have our beliefs, and I can only hope that my son will have the gift of faith.

I think it's important to note that atheists are also able to see an autistic child as a gift. God is not necessary for someone to see the goodness in others, regardless of their differences.

I'm not an atheist myself, but I reject the implication that one needs spirituality to have this perspective. This may not have even been what you intended to imply, but it sort of reads that way. Otherwise, you clearly show respect for those with differing opinions and I find your openness rather refreshing.

I believe it is the goodness of God in our hearts that help us to see the goodness in others. Whether we know it or not.

It has been my unfortunate observation that the majority of people in this world (whatever religion they claim to have) do not think about the well being of anybody other then themselves, and those whom they have a personal connection with (i.e. family, friends, etc.) This can clearly be seen in a discussion of government spending, which usually comes down to the idea of 'Cut the spending, but not the programs that I use'.

Furthermore, most people make no attempts to become better people. They do not try to work on their faults. They do not try to be more understanding and helpful towards others. They do not try and understand the perspectives of others, and they do not try to compromise in order to help people whom they have never met.

They also engage in petty office politics, gossiping, back stabbing, and lying in order to move up the 'social ladder'. With no regards to the amount of problems or difficulties that this creates for other people. And not only do they do this, but they act appalled and shocked if you point it out because they don't even want to admit to themselves that they are purposefully gaming the system and taking advantage of other people in order to get ahead.

At least an atheist has the honesty to say, "Well yeah, I may act selfishly to get what I want. But since there is no absolute morality, I am just acting within the bounds of what our society dictates as acceptable."

Most Christians on the other hand will get offended at the mere insinuation that they are acting selfishly, when they clearly are. And not only will they ignore their faults, but they will go out of their way to sanctimoniously point out the faults in others. Often being far more hypocritical and judgmental then the atheists whom the decry.

This is of course not true of everybody who claims themselves to be a christian, but it is sadly common enough that this behavior has become commonplace, and even expected at churches. And failure to gossip about those horrible sinners is seen as being both unsocial and ungodly. There are reasons that I no longer attend church.

And finally, I feel I must make this point:

Faith is not blind unquestioning belief or obedience. Having faith in God does not mean that you follow the words of a man just because he declares himself to be the pastor, nor does it mean you believe in something without proof. That's not faith, thats stupidity.

Faith is trusting somebody to do what they said they are going to do. For example, if I say that I have faith in my brother, I am not saying that I blindly and unquestioningly follow him. Nor am I saying that I believe he exists without any evidence to back it up. I am saying that I trust him to do what he said he was going to do, and nothing more.

Christianity today has twisted the meaning of faith to mean disregarding the facts and blindly accepting what you are told. That is not faith at all, and I don't think God would approve of ignoring reality simply because somebody with a superiority complex thinks that his irrational beliefs are better then the truth.

Having faith in God is trusting in God, and nothing more or less. Do not let people tell you otherwise.

Iam a fact based person, I will even make myself unpopular by defending lies and exaggerations made by my own people against "enemies", truth is more important to me.

Regarding God then, all these so called "facts" we are told about, such as evolution, are they really facts or are they a belief system just as illogical as creation and a God?

Only one is a truth, and the other is a lie, your daugther would do well to explore both camps so she can make her own mind up and not just belive so called "facts" that somebody else tells her are true.

Same here. My kids are being raised with faith because it's a part of our family and heritage, but they also know that is why they are being exposed to it ... just like they learn things about the country in Europe their grandparents came from. I ask them to study it, talk about it, evaluate it, but I know that the end result of how they do - or do not - relate to God is their choice. And, they know it is. They aren't forced to go my way or be disowned or anything. Yes, there is some pressure to study it, but that isn't very different from being pressured to study US History. We all ask kids to study things important to where they come from.

Jonahsmom, I'm no longer a moderator but you should be fine sharing your link, given that you are an active member of this board. If you were doing a hit and run the mods would probably take it down, but there is no issue with a little cross-pollenization when people also take the time to build relationships and contribute here.

It's a whole lot easier when you don't think of the Bible as a literal history. In my belief, the story of Creation in the Bible is a story version of creation, a simplification. There is plenty of room for scientific theories to take a different course. My AS son is totally happy with how it all fits together; he's had no trouble sorting things into boxes that are logical for him. And all his religion class teachers adore him; he's a very active and interested participant in class discussions, apparently.

True. Some people would just call him crazy or suggest that maybe he has schizophrenia rather than autism, I suppose. It wasn't your classic "playing with the invisible friend". It's so diffcult to explain. It just seems, through things that he says and does, that he has a sense of a spiritual world, rather than just the physical one. People with autism can be "overly sensitive" to many things, so why not the spiritual? I don't purport to know that he has faitht as in, "he believes in God". He talks about God (yes, probably because we do). Yeah, yeah. Words fail me here. Every example I can think of would sound qualifiably crazy to anyone who only believes in the concrete world that they can touch....but here goes: My son has never had sleep issues since he was a toddler. From the time he was born to the time we moved into this house (when he was 2), he never slept for more than 1.5 hours a pop and often woke screaming as if terrified in the night. When we moved to this house I was just dreading it, thinking that the change would make his sleep worse. Instead, he slept through the night the very first night and always has. Later, when he was 4, he randomly came up to me one day and told me that in the old house there was a monster in his room. I believe that there was something spiritual and unseen there that disturbed him. His behavior and what he tells me point to that fact. It's only a theory. Coincidence? Maybe. Could his brain have randomly matured to allow him to go from 1.5 hours a pop to all night long with nary a whimper over night? Sure, I guess so.

In this house he has woken up once. My husband and I were downstairs at the opposite side of the house from his room, with the TV volume low so as not to wake the kids. My husband stopped on a show that looked interesting which turned out to be evil and demonic. As soon as we realized it, we turned it off. Interestingly enough, that is the one night J came barreling downstairs, telling me he'd had a nightmare about a black figure with red eyes and asking if I would pray for him. Could it be a coincidence? Yes. But I don't believe it was. I believe that he sensed something dark.

Yet another example- one day we ran into a friend of mine and chatted for a minute in a parking lot (J was with). We got in the car and when I looked at him in the rear view mirror he was in tears. I asked him why and he said he didn't know why he felt so sad and even used the word "overwhelmed". Later that same friend told me that she had been so glad to run into a friend that day because it was the anniversary of her dad's death and she was having a really hard time with it. I believe J sensed her sadness.

Anyway, I hope that better explains it. My son has AS and he senses things that aren't concrete things that we can all see- at least the evidence seems to point that way. You can't see the wind, but you can see things moving because of it. That's the best word picture I can come up with.

Dandelionfireworks, I love this.

Here is one of my favorite quotes ever:

"When I survey this gigantic intricate world, I can not believe that it just came about. I do not mean that I have some good arguments for its being made and that I believe in the arguments. I mean that this conviction wells up irresistably within me when I conemplate the world. The experiment of trying to abolish it does not work. When looking at the heavens, I cannot manage to believe they do not declare the glory of God. When looking at the earth, I can not bring about the attempt to believe that it does not display his handiwork." - Nicholas Wolterstorff

I understand what all of you are saying about "just knowing". But there's a lot of questioning that occurs in some people's lives and when those questions are asked you have to find out your own answers. Julia Sweeney did a very good lecture on this process which I highly recommend. It's called "Letting Go of God". http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p ... ion_583158