Kids say the darndest things

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My brother (who has no idea what it means by the way) used to wave with his middle finger.

XD

When he first learned about George Washington he told me,"George Washington fights with a coconut gun ( cannon)."

He told a man with yellow teeth who smiled at me,"You need to brush your teeth."
I could not stop laughing

When he was a baby he threw cracker at a bikers head from across the room so we left that restaurant. XD

One day, he took off his pants, threw them against the wall and said,"NO PANTS!"

Funny kid huh?

On the drive to school earlier this week my son, 14 (as) said that some of the kids were talking about his mustache (super dark peach fuzz). They were telling him it was weak looking. His reply to them was (in a super masculine voice with a fist in the air) Yes, but one day it will be as mighty as my sister's! The earned him quickly a pop in the head by the said 13 year old sister (who has no mustache) and a very long laugh from me.

I ran off at a party once, and my dad couldn't find me. Then, the elevator door opens, and there I am. My dad walks up to me and says, "Where have you been son? I thought you were lost"
I said "No Dad, you were lost"

Of course, there are many, but the one that I love most is:

My eldest son, who was about 18 months, had some gas. He paused, let it go, then looked at my husband and I and said;

"Poo-poo Beep"

LOL, and today, that same eldest son, who is also diagnosed AS or PDD-NOS (whatever they are calling it now) was playing in his basketball game. The coach was yelling for him to "turn around" because he was facing the opposite direction of the ball, with his hands in the air, clueless... He hears the coach and instead of turning to face the ball and the rest of the players on the court, proceeds to turn round and round in circles. Well...he was just doing as told

I remember when my now 15 year old was 4. We were driving and some guy cut me off. Without thinking I said "@sshole!!" completely forgetting my son was in the backseat. I was quickly reminded when a little voice said "Mommy that's not an @sshole...that's a car." I'll never forget that and he loves hearing the story now 11 years later. He also loves to hear the words he couldn't pronounce. Like he used to say ScooDaBoo instead of ScoobyDoo. And pookapus instead of spookable. He gets a real kick out of hearing all the trouble he had with language. It's funny how something that was so nerve wracking once upon a time for me is so amusing to him now.

A couple off the top of my head:

I was 2 or 3. Eating dinner with my parents. Rice all off the edge of my plate with a spoon full of rice resting on the edge. My dad says "Could you make a bigger mess?" and I oblige by hitting the spoon and catapulting the rice at his face. He told me to! I was following directions!

A couple years ago at dinner my dad asked my mom if my youngest brother had eyebrows like his. The youngest brother chimes in "No I don't. I have 2 eyebrows!" (As opposed to the bushy unibrow on my dad)

The older of the two little bros got a math paper back with a note on it. The previous question said something like put these numbers in order from least to greatest, and the question that caused problems asked how you knew what order to put them in. He put "because I'm really smart." The note from the teacher said "yes you are but that isn't the correct answer." That got put on the fridge for a couple months lol. I still have no clue what kind of answer they were looking for.

When we told our 10 year old we were having a baby she wasn't happy about it. When anyone asked her why she was excited she would always say it was because "The baby will get served dinner first". LOL.

She had a bad experience with riding in the car with a crying baby when she was about 6. It was a boy. From then on she completely hates baby boys and has never forgiven him for putting her through that (its been 7 years BTW) so she was also worried that we might have a boy. I took her to the ultrasound appointment to find out what we were having when the sonographer said it's a girl she said "Thank goodness for that."

My son can hold a weird grudge for an astonishingly long time, as well.

He cracked me up last night. He has this very piping, childish sounding voice, which makes it especially funny when he comes out with very mature sounding phrases. Last night I asked I told him it was dessert time and he said, "Dessert? Where does the time go!"

My three year old says 'yabbits' for 'rabbits' which is kinda cute on its own! He calls his dinner 'hogbosh' which i am still blaming his father for lol The other day he came to me and said "mato (meaning tomato) and beans hogbosh please mummy and no yabbits"

It just tickled me

When my son was four he was asked what his mum's name was. He gave my name. When he was asked what his dad's name was he said it was "babe".

When I was little, I knew how to spell really well. Now in this case, I was just being funny, and I knew I was doing it wrong. Me and my grandpa were looking at an alphabet book that had the word "umbrella" in it. He asked me how to spell it, and I said "u-m-b-r-e-11-a."

My daughter at 3:

when she grew up, she wanted to be ninja-neer (engineer)

To me "Tell my brother to stop Terrorizing me"

My favorite - when I put her in the church nursery she yelled at the top of her lungs "Help me Mommy, I'm Doomed!"