diagnosed

Post Reply New Topic

hi there well finally got a diagnosis had first part of asesment in feb and had other today my 11yr old has been diagnosed with aspergers / adhd my head is in a wirl

Every parent's head is in a whirl at first and it will be for some time. Hopefully the dx lines up with what you think you are seeing in your child.

A diagnosis can be a really good thing but it's important to keep it in perspective. It is a tool--it's like a road sign pointing which direction to look for understanding and help. As well it's like a ticket for services (if applicable to school aged kids). It's nothing more and nothing less. Before we had a label for my son we were floundering around trying to address a bunch of seemingly unrelated issues and having the label really helped me to hook up with other parents as well as to know where to research. It's made a big difference for my son and honestly there haven't been any negatives to having a diagnosis as far as I've been able to discern.

Can I support Pippen's statement?

Your 11-year-old is the same 11-year-old they were before.

The diagnosis helps with understanding, with highlighting likely good and bad approaches to education and social life, and possibly also with formal assistance.

Yes, it can be used by the uninformed (and I include certain of the educational and medical profession) as a label, pigeonhole and caricature.
That may need to be opposed from time to time.

Best wishes.



"Able autistic individuals can rise to eminent positions with such outstanding success that one may conclude that only such people are capable of certain achievements. Their unswerving determination and penetrating intellectual powers, part of their spontaneous and original mental activity, their narrowness and single-mindedness, as manifested in their special interests, can be immensely valuable and can lead to outstanding achievements in their chosen areas."
(Hans Asperger 1944)

I'll second Pippen as well. The name for what he had let me finally wrap my mind around all these different quirks and behaviors that we and several "experts" had no answer for in the previous years. My son was 10 by the time I had figured out he had AS by googling his symptoms.

By the time your child with AS is 10 or 11, you've spent a decade already learning how to function with that child in the household, what their needs are, etc.

My best advice is don't let anyone - educator, doctor, etc - try and convince you that you don't know your own child best. If you don't feel it's the right path for your child, trust your instincts. That's the only mistake I made, (I hope!!) and it took months to straighten out.

hi and ty i know nothing changes but hopefully now my son will get help he needs instead of people judging him and not helping but i guess time will tell with this

Yeah, sadly people will still judge him, but we all judge and get judged, it's a fact of life.

Getting the interventions and necessary accommodations, so that HE can live a life HE is happy with - that's what is most important.

For us it was a relief to finally put a name on all the many issues we and our son were dealing with. We could explain a problem as a result of how his nervous system is organized and accept it for what it is and get a better handle on how to understand the cause and thus deal with or prevent the effects. It was easier to see his issues as things he couldn't help, rather than as stubborn and inflexible.

It helped a lot with the school system to have a DIAGNOSIS as a way to press them into accepting what he needed and explaining why he did or didn't do things they disliked or wanted. It steered us to more info and this place as ways of understanding him and getting ideas on how to improve his experiences and set his goals.

First
2nd learn as much as possible about your sons DX. Let me tell you that learning so much about AS has made our life much easier, I know how to deal with my son better and I understand him and appreciate him much more. My son is also 11 y/o and the other advice I can offer is kearn about your sons rights at school because school i particularly difficult and always a battle but well worth it

well at mo i am trying too read up as much as i can only thing is his older sisters are not interested any more because of what ashley has done too them and way he has been.. they just seem too think i am channeling everything into finding out about my son which i am not what i am trying too do is find tips into making house a more peaceful place too live for everyone in it but they are not seeing that .

anyone got any tips would be most appreciated and that is for making house more peaceful and helping siblings understand more

Time - it will take time for them to adjust to this as well.

First would be to try and eliminate a lot of the triggers - we read "The Explosive Child" and it really helped us identify approaching meltdowns. Make sure he gets enough exercise - there was a link to a blog about meltdown/shutdown and a psychologist posted about the nervous system's fight/flight response. I think walking every day helps him reduce his stress.

The best part about our son's dx is that we were able to make minor accomodations. Since going to the grocery store causes an overload, we don't take him. He loves to eat out, but the environment can be stressful, so we make sure he has a book or magazine.

Traditional discipline doesn't work and once we learned how to have more natural consequences, we didn't have near the defiant behavioral problems. Things like gaming - we give him plenty of notice before it's time to shut down. We try to have a somewhat structured day so he knows if he gets this, this and this done, then it's time to do that.

Lots and lots and lots of teaching - I swear I have simply HAD IT with his room. That kid KNOWS how to put his laundry away and how can he invite Grandma up there when he's got dirty underwear all over?? I was furious and just ready to snap but we know that really won't help.

Instead, I went up with him the next day and helped him put his laundry away. By then I wasn't as angry but he kept informing me that he had banned me from his room. I tried to stay calm and remind/reassure him that I was just helping him and when he was ready to take care of himself, I wouldn't have to come up anymore. Until then, I was going to go up and help him. He finally grudgingly helped put away laundry (even started picking things out of the basket without unfolding them and throwing them at me) and then helped round up all the dirties.

Patience, patience patience - and time.