22 month grandson showing some signs

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I hear you Gooselady. My son started special needs pre-k at 3 yr of age. He is now in his 3rd year there, and is making great improvements. We live in a metro area that is very aware of autism and has lots of resources. I think we have been blessed with a school that has very educated and dedicated teachers. However, my son has been in a protective bubble since he has been there. I would like to see him integrated into a regular classroom at some point, but it is not a must. Like you said the older they get, the bullying will begin. I am hoping that maybe he can stay in public school through elementary school and then maybe we can send him to a private school that specializes in Asperger's or maybe let him do on-line school. The thing with autism though is that there is no way to know how your child is going to develop, so you sort of just have to take it a year at a time.

I guess in some ways I feel that I am trying to protect my son from the world, but at the same time, after reading many of the posts here from adults with AS, the bullying has had lifelong and damaging effects. Is it necessary for my son to be placed in an environment that could possibly destroy his self esteem just to have him mainstreamed? I just don't think so.

rest assured, it is not avocados or fresh mandarin oranges. i can promise you this. both my spectrum children are extremely picky eaters, and i know for a fact avocado has never touched their lips =) my youngest loves canned mandarins, but wont touch the fresh peeled ones ("I dont eat that.") my NT son on the other hand, has eaten both. he eats everything, he even had frogs legs when he was three! hmm but both his brothers have been diagnosed on the spectrum in some way, and they refused to taste the frogs legs. perhaps eating amphibian inoculated him against autism? maybe someone will start a "feed your baby frogs" prevention campaign. caitlin, is your mil available?

i will say that lack of diagnosis and intervention doesnt always benefit the child. my SO never received services or even diagnosis, and i cannot honestly say he is "fine." he is an incredibly smart guy, but dropped out of college after one semester because he couldnt take a required college course on public speaking. his work history has been spotty, and filled with menial labor jobs, and in the 13 years ive known him, he has never gotten any of those jobs on his own (hurray for nepotism). there are so many things he wanted to do and is intellectually capable of doing, that he has never been able to accomplish. until last year, we never really knew why. i think if he had been diagnosed and learned some coping skills, had some therapy or training to help him, his life would be vastly different. instead he has struggled in so many ways, and never understood why.

i dont think this is the case with all undiagnosed people who dont receive interventions, but it has been the case for him. one thing that will make a huge difference for all of our children is just having the knowledge of what is affecting them, and learning from there how to help them. even if some of us dont get formal diagnosis or put them in therapy, they have a much better potential outcome. acceptance and understanding is the most valuable tool we can have. knowledge really is power.

My son (no diagnosis, may or may not be on spectrum) is coming up on 3.5 now. He has had some ongoing speech issues and starting at 18 months began receiving speech therapy through Early Intervention. It was so very easy and wonderful for us...the therapist came to our house once a week. His therapist was great. At the age of 3, children transfer to Early Intervention through the school system. We declined to move to the school system and elected to continue with his current therapist, paying out of pocket.

When he started around 18 months, he was considered to have the effective speech capabilities of a 10-12 month old. He had I think 3 actual words that he used, which for 18 months isn't THAT untypical but as he turned 2 and after, his delay became more apparent. When he was 2 years 4 months, he had maybe a dozen words. Since that time, he has made continual progress and now is considered typical for the age. His therapist just recently completed an eval of his progress and says that he is testing within normal ranges for his age in all categories. He literally talks a blue streak all day long .

I guess my point is just this: we have decided not to have him evaluated for AS at this time, because he is young and not an obvious case if he even is on the spectrum. But we DID and will continue to (if necessary) address things that he may need help with, such as speech. I'm ever so glad that our pediatrician recommended we have him evaluated for speech therapy. Until he was 3 it was all provided free of cost and I think it helped him immensely. Therapy and/or early intervention doesn't have to be an "all or nothing" kind of thing.

"It's just who the child is, and loving them means shopping for bathtub drains for Christmas sometimes."
I bought our AS son a vacuum cleaner for Christmas a few years back. Why buy a bunch of toys that aren't going to get played with? It's pointless!

On to the real point of the post. Our AS son never received services or therapy through EI. We knew something was off for many, many years, but we never pursued a diagnosis until he was getting ready to start kindergarten. Academically, he is average to above average, but he does still struggle in many other ways. If it weren't for the public school system, I'm not so sure we would have pursued the diagnosis in the way that we did, but he needs those supports to make it through the day in that place.

Our other two boys are behind in many ways, however, so we will be pursueing EI services and therapy for them as a result. Both boys have difficulty with speech and language, fine/gross motor skills, socialization and self regulation. I've seen what happens to some people on the spectrum when they don't get the help early on (my mom and brother for example) and I will try everything possible to ensure that my boys have a fighting chance in the world.