Proud of my son's Autism.

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To us my son's Asperger is just something he has in the same way he has brown hair or hazel eyes or that my typical daughter has asthma. Am I proud that he has brown eyes... no it is just who he is. The same for his Aspergers. The Aspergers in my opinion does not make him special. What makes him special, the thing I am the most proud of, is the way he handles diversity. He embraces it and honestly I think my 10 year old aspie has more courage than anyone I know. I say it all the time... he teaches me. He teaches me that there is more than just one way to look at the world. That is what I am proud of. There is no doubt in my mind that my son will grow up to do something amazing!

I don't think autism is something to be proud of or to seek out. Maybe that's because while I'm blessed that my son is on the higher-functioning end of the spectrum, my boyfriend's cousin is extremely low functioning. The way I see it, most of us got lucky. My b/f's cousin's condition is nothing to strive for. He's wonderful and beautiful, but he's also sick a lot and upset much of the time because he can't communicate the things he wants and needs. You can tell that there's something going on in there, he just can't get it out. He's trapped. It's like he sees the world through a two-way mirror. He can see and hear, but he can't make himself be seen or heard. To me, that seems like the loneliest kind of hell on earth. It also causes his parents a lot of pain. Do you have any idea how much his mother has to crave hearing the words, "I love you, Mommy" from her child? Do you have any idea how much they worry about what is going to happen to him when they're gone? They do all sorts of charities and marathons and even jump in insanely cold water just to raise money to ensure that he'll be taken care of when they can't do it anymore. I can understand those on the milder end of the spectrum being offended by terms like "cure" and all of that. But for people like my b/f's family, this is something to be fought and, hopefully, cured. I don't understand being proud of something that can prevent your child from being able to have a full, happy, and productive life. I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but look around. Look at all of the threads on anger, rage, depression, and suicide. There may be bright points to this, but it also has a very deep dark side. Are you still going to be proud of your son's autism if you find him on a forum talking about how much he wants to die because of it or how nobody cares about him or how worthless he feels because he can't support himself or how he can't control his anger? I can understand being grateful that he's not Rain Man. I can understand being happy you have answers. I can't understand being proud of a disorder that causes so much pain to so many of the people who have it.
It's like being shot in the head. Some people get shot in the head, live, and have relatively few problems but discover they can sing like an angel or paint like Picasso. Some get shot in the head and die. Some get shot in the head and are a vegetable for the rest of their lives. Is getting shot in the head something to be happy about or proud of? Are you going to go around provoking people into shooting you in the head? It just doesn't make sense to me.

Autism causes pain to the poeple that have it, ONLY because the people around them cannot accept them for who they are. What attempts are made at finding other means of communication for a child or adult with autism who is non verbal, very little. A few are given PECS as though showing a picture is the only way we could possibly communicate. The biggest issue for me and everyone else I know with Autism are sensory issues. No one considers what speaking is like for us, that we may prefer to communicate in non verbal means. We are all different. Some people are incredibly tactile. If they are non verbal, and they give them PECS, since they are not visual they do not mean anything to them. Due to the tactile nature of themselves, they touch them, feel them, suck on them, etc and so we label them as more profoundly disabled, as ret*d or something, rather than thinking about how else we could communicate with them. Perhaps sign language as they could use their hands, perhaps tactile signing like the deaf blind use, etc. The fac is that until and unless you are willing to accept us for who we are, instead of trying to fix us and make us normal then nothing will change.

I do not see anything wrong with RainMan. He did not appear to be distressed in the life that he was living, if it was done how he was comfortable with it. What is wrong with living as an person with autism. The fact that I hate loud noise and crowds, is that criminal. Is there something wrong with the fact that I do not want to go to crowded shopping malls, pop concerts and the like. The fact is I am happy being me and see no reason why I should be made to be like you.

As for my developmental level, well that varies. I was diagnosed as autistic at the age of 3, I am now almost 37. I did not have any speech at all until the age of 5 and no meaningful language before the age of 8. I was still not reading at the age of 14. At 14 I was finally given specialist tutoring support with a teacher working privately with specail needs kids and she simply found my way of learning. Within a year I was above grade level, tested with a IQ of 150, etc. Today my written skills are my primary means of communication. I can and do speak at times, but my expressive skills are those of a 4 year old and my receptive langauge is that of a 12 year old. Put something in writing and I can do anything with it.

I was beaten for not looking people in the eye, for covering my ears when I heard loud noises, etc. Sure that is no longer suggested, now we do ABA and give them a lollie for looking someone in the eye, for standing straight and not moving our arms around, for not covering our ears and the like. Rather than looking at why we do not do these things, the fact that perhaps we do not want to do these things, the whole aim is to make us "look" as normal as possible.

The fact is I am proud to be me, and I would not wish to change anything at all about me, I just wish that I could find a way to make the world accept me for who I am. The physically disabled are not expected to spend the rest of their lives in PT learning how to walk, but I am expected to spend my whole life in speech therapy, learning how to talk as the rest of the population does. Yes there is a benefit that I can to a degree interact with the rest of the population, and we should try to give children those skills, but not to the point of not allowing them to be who they are, and the fact is they are autistic by nature. Would you be this ashamed of a child who is deaf. And the Deaf community is a classic example, they do on the whole not like cochler implants and are proud to be Deaf and always use a capital D, they see nothing wrong with signing. And while they do not see anything wrong with cochler implants if the child is also allowed to learn how to sign, that is not how they are used. And one then wonders what happens when the child swims and cannot wear the implant, what happens when technology breaks down, what happens in the middle of the night if there is a fire and they cannot grap the implant quick enough, and are without it for days on end.

I can only say that I am glad there are some parents who are proud of their child's autism!!

I'm not saying that autistic children are something to be ashamed of. I'm very proud of my son. Am I proud of his autism? No. I'm proud of how he handles it. I'm not ashamed of his autism, either. I wish he didn't have it because I know how difficult it makes everyday life. I think there's something more that you're trying to say when you say you're proud of your child's autism, I just can't understand what it is (one of those social things, I know there's something more, I just can't see it) and maybe that's where the problem lies.

I can see being proud of my son's Asperger's. In a way, it's a compliment. They say God will only give you what you can handle. Well, He saw that my son could handle the challenge of Asperger's, and He was right - my son is not perfect, but he's worked very hard to integrate into the world, and he has succeeded.

You are great parents. I never heard a parent of an autistic child say this, but maybe there's a cultural issue. In my country the only reaction is pity, but in fact parents are left alone. Autism is considered a mental illness and that means shame. Not for me, but for many people. Even if I joined WP and I can have informations about Autism from people with Autism and therefore without prejudices, I'm scared about the prejudices that my son will have to face. So, I'm proud of him and that includes his autism, but it happens that I can't speak openly.
I informed my friends and my co-workers about his diagnosis, but my parents didn't inform our relatives. It's obvious that they feel ashamed. I know many parents that try to have they HFA children declared NT by a neuropsichiatrist to avoid school's prejudices.

I can assure you that what is being stated on here is not common in the US, Australia or elsewhere. Take a look at Autism Speaks and then see if you think that the US considers Autism something to be proud of. NO they are intent on forcing these kids to be NT, to do everything in their power, to CURE, control, etc, etc. The defeat autism now message is really powerful, and that is everywhere.

There is no doubt that all parents go through a grieving process and that is natural. All parents whether they admit it all not, have dreams and aspirations for their child, they want them to be rouge scollars, top scientists, or whatever else. When you discover your child has any kind of inperfection you have to grieve the loss of that. What is hard to get a point where you can actually see the positives in what you have. What has been said on here is that you could not be proud of a person with low functioning autism, why not?? What do I see as great things in people with high levels of cognitive impairment is that they never lose that childhood innocence. They will always enjoy watching cartoons, colouring inn, finger paiting, swinging on swings in the park, running under sprinkers on a hot summers day, walking into anyones house at any time, saying what they really want or mean, thinking that all people are simply all good or bad, the list is endless. It would be so nice sometimes if we could stop pretending to be adults and just accept who we are. People with profound levels of disability, and especially cognitive impairment, do not care what you look like, what type of clothes you wear, etc, etc, they accept you for who you are. They think that everyone should hold hands when they cross the road, that you need to say sorry if you hurt someone, etc, etc. All things that we all learn as preschoolers and then forget and somehow let go, to be these self centred people. Sure people with autism struggle with change and yes they can be very set in their routines, etc, but the fact is there are things they enjoy and love and they always will, no matter what that is. Many adults secretly enjoy many things that kids do, but they cannot admit to it. They love playing in the sand, but it is not proper to do it. What I love about these so called so functioning people is that they do not see this proper, they simply enjoy things for what they are. If they enjoy playing in sand, they enjoy playing in sand and could not care what you or anyone else thinks about it. Rain man is a classic example. The fact is he was happy with who he was, with the routines that he had, etc, etc. Sure it can be hard for us to watch and to look at how restricted he was, and how obsessed with routine he was, but the fact is, provided he had that routine, he was happy and to say that people who are low functioning are not happy and there is nothing to be proud of in them is simply wrong. Rain man showed what innocence really is. He did not see anything wrong with going into a strangers home and watching a TV show, etc. Sometimes it would be nice if the world was as simple and kind as some people with cognitive impairments make it. Sure it is sad that they cannot know that not all people can be trusted, but wouldn't it be nice if we could actually live life trusting everyone?? Those that are lower functioning will find their own levels of happiness, that is not ours and nor should it be, but they will also be able to keep that childhood innocence that we all loose and the ability to be able to keep that is to me something to be proud of.

I have a son with Aspergers and I am so proud of him because of the way he helps other people who need someone to carry them for a while.

I love who he is and the fact that he is so different - we celebrate his differences. My father has great difficulty accepting this fact (seriously he carries on like it is some terrible affliction and thinks I should wave my magic wand and cure him!! !).

Personally, if I did have a magic wand what I would be doing is waving it at other people and turning them into Aspies!! ! We need more Aspies in this world - I love my son's way of thinking, his humour, his passion for learning and helping others who need him. Myself, Shea's brother & sister and Dad, our family and all our friends consider ourselves truly blessed to have him in our lives and we wouldnt change a single thing about him!!

Oh, hang on, yes I would, I would give him a tidy up nodule in his brain LOL