parenting help

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Hiya
I just wondered if anyone had some advice, or could recommend some books to read etc...
I'm a mum to 3 kids, my oldest (5 years) is autistic, he's kinda high-functioning and verbal (has language delay tho) and he's just started school. (I also have a 3 yo and a 3 month old, both girls).
My dh was dx'd with aspergers last year and we are really finding parenting our son difficult. I can manage ok, i'm doing my best to learn about DS's world. he's a wonderful kid but he does have challenging behaviours.
DH finds parenting DS very hard, he doesn't understand him at all really, and he often gets angry at DS - or just tells him off when DS is being *naughty* (not behaviour I'd consider naughty, usually it's related to sensory problems or just the fact that ds doesn't understand language as well as most 5 year olds!)

SO.... what help is out there for an aspie father? I'm finding this parenting business really stressful, and thought there may be some wise folks on here with advice
Thanks

I think that all fathers should try their hardest to understand and accept their spectrum children, because a little acceptance and understanding goes a long way. I wish that my dad understood and accepted me.

FYI - my husband is working very hard to understand our son, but he often doesn't read the things I give him; I don't think he processes information that way and he finds it frustrating. At the top of this site, there's a sticky for suggested reading that may help you, but with that caveat.

Also, many of us like to recommend poster Tracker's e-book: http://www.asdstuff.com/

For those of you who are creating resources for parents of kids on the spectrum: I think a brief, bullet-point-style book with visual instructions for parents who are more or less on the spectrum themselves might be really helpful; there has got to be a huge need out there. I took a look around the 'net, and didn't see anything of the sort; all of it is very detailed and full of words.

Hello,

I've found that parenting an Aspie can be very different from parenting a typically developing child. Very little of the advice we get about parenting actually applies to my son. One of the hardest things for me is understanding his reduced capacity for empathy. That may be why your husband is having trouble dealing with your son. Paradoxically, though he has the same wiring, it's harder for him to remember what it was like for him as a child. Or it may be that he had a certain understanding of what it would be like to be a parent and it's not turing out that way and he's having a hard time adjusting to that.

Try reading the thread on this forum "10 ways to help your autistic child."

My husband doesn't read the things I give him either. He's a great parent, but he doesn't learn that way.

Thanks for the replies
I will have a look at those resources. I guess it could be dh's lack of empathy for ds.
CockneyRebel thanks for that, I think it's really important for DS that DH tries to understand him too

As the first dad to reply to your post - the absolute best resource I've found is Noel Janis-Norton (who gained recent fame when Helena Bonham Carter raved about Noel's parenting classes). I didn't take the classes, but I listen to her CDs in my car, and they're fabulous - lots of very practical step-by-step suggestions, which definitely appeals to us solution-oriented guys! Wrong Planet won't let me post her website address, but google calmer parenting dot you-know-what or her name & you'll find her.

Thanks EIDu, I will do that