I need help with my son

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Okay so Im reading that DWStuff book...

Interesting stuff, but I must say that I dont know about the stress levels going up and up until the child explodes, in my sons case.
He has 2 chores around the house, emptying his trash on sunday and getting the mail when he gets off the bus.
He does his homework on the busride hiome (if he gets any) and when hes home he can do whatever he wants, if he wants to sit on his computer all day
I let him. He lives the life of Riley...

The one thing that is unusual Ive noticed tonight is that he almost never cries.
He never seems sad, People are always saying how happy he is...

Most of the times hes seemingly happy as a clam. He can be sitting there on his computer happy and rockin out then, SUDDENLY
attack the dog...

He can sit there with the tv up loud watching QVC or HSN and be on his comp watching a video LOUD too, but still complain abut the snoring.

I dont know I just dont know.

However reading that book I was thinking that maybe it was the strain of the Votech "Working" camp hes been going to.
They say its supposed to be FUN but its WORK. Its VOCATIONAL TRAINING

I made some PECS cards Ill try them in the morning.

I just moved into a house where the landlord has a dog. I have always wanted a dog, and this should be perfect, it's a cute little dog and I have 0 responsibility for it. BUT I have discovered that the smell really makes me feel ill over long periods, and the noise really pisses me off too. It could just be that he is very sensitive to the noise.

I'm glad you are reading Tracker's book!

A note about stress. I'm not talking about the things we would expect to have be stress factors in our kids lives. Yes, those can exist, too, but AS kids are stressed by simply being in the world. It's too loud, too unpredictable, has too many people, and is filled with expectations you are supposed to understand .. But don't. Different AS kids respond differently to a variety of factors, of course, because they are unique individuals, but seem to share the trait of being suspectible to stress and overload from at least one thing most people would never suspect.

Your son sounds like mine was as a very young child. Always happy. My son was always game for everything. Seeming to handle things well, and melting down out of nowhere. He was also attracted to everything and everyone. We eventually figured out that even though he was attracted to things, and appeared to enjoy them, he wasn't actually processing the sensory input well. So his brain would still be trying to sort it out long after we'd left the situation, leaving him frazzled and unable to handle the smallest thing. Then some unknown small thing happens, and it's meltdown.

As we've learned what to avoid, and he's learned what to avoid, he seems like a different child. But he's tuned into his needs and not burying that stress; he's pulling out of things that are overwhelming before they've overloaded him. He experiences much less, but he is also in control. It's just how it has to be for him. They have to learn, if they can, where their meltdowns come from, and avoid the situations that cause them. Strong smells, crowds, kids their age, whatever ... Any of that can be a stress factor.

This, uncontrolled reactions, is THE debilitating factor for many with AS. What will cost them jobs, friends, and more. Not everyone can get it figured out and learn to self-mitigate, but it is a puzzle very very much worth devoting a few thousand hours to, if you have to. I believe it makes THAT much difference to the future.

Lol, hard sell, eh?

I can't promise anything. Some kids learn, some don't. Parents can think it's solved, and have it all go to hell. But I don't see how we cannot try.

Does you son always go after the dog when it's sleeping? If so it could be the sound of the dog snoring that's getting to him. It could just be that he can't stand that particular sound, no matter the volume. Many people have sounds they cannot stand. I used to sit next to a woman at work who used to eat apples all the time. The sound completely drove me up the wall.

[quote="Wreck-Gar"I used to sit next to a woman at work who used to eat apples all the time. The sound completely drove me up the wall.[/quote]

Me too! Well, it wasn't an apple.. It was pears. But still.. that crunch sound to this day makes me what a sharp stick in the eye.

My kids and myself are really sensitive to the heat and I know you mentioned that several times. Since he is such a big guy its probably worse for him. I have even bought tons of ice and put bowls in front of fans when I didnt have AC, you might try that or give him ice packs to put under his arms and on the back of his neck.
You probably wont be able to talk to him about this when his sensory system is on haywire from the heat. Maybe go somewhere where there is AC and ask him if he is angry with you and then take the conversation from there. He may be taking out his frustration at the dog simply because the dog is also messing with his auditory sensitivities then with the heat on top it seems likely to me that hes going to get angry and he wants to hurt someone or something so he goes after the dog. He probably wants to try to avoid harming you because you are his only person, his Mom and its probably why he got so upset with himself when he did attack you. I understand how you feel because you want to protect your animals as they are helpless and they deserve your protection, I am a very big animal rights advocate but I also understand autistic behavior. You do need to teach your son that animals have feelings just like he does and like you do. One time my son kicked our dog and I asked him why he did that and he told me because he licked his leg and it annoys him so I asked him how he would feel if someone kicked him because he gave them a kiss? This made sense to him and he understood that the dog has feelings as he can relate it to himself.
Also have you tried ear plugs or ear defenders (the kind people wear to protect their ears at concerts or a loud worksite)?

In the hope that it might give you a place to start on looking for stress factors with your son, I asked my son what he would consider his current top 3, the things in his 14 year old life that he has to actively work on dealing with:

1). Dysfunctional group dynamics. A lot of things at this age kid led, part of letting kids learn, but, thus, disorganized, filled with kids arguing, wasted time, last minute changes in plan, etc. He has a lot of trouble with it between just trying to process what it means, the noise, and having no idea what to do or how to handle what is going on around him. Note that disfunctional is very broadly defined here; most adults would call all this normal group behavior for the age, but all my son sees is the disfuntion.

2). Criticism. He has a difficult time processing the barrage of "you should's" that seem to come at him, mostly from friends (sometimes well meaning, sometimes joking, sometimes to hurt). If they're doing this during an activity hoping to help him with it, he simply cannot process it, he gets flustered. Other times it digs into his self esteem, because he was happy with what he was doing, and here they come with a different idea. And he is often confused as to whether it is meant to help, or if he's being made fun of, etc.

3). TV noise. If he hasn't been stressed by anything else, he is usually OK with it. But if he's on edge because of one of the above, it feels like the straw that broke the camel's back to him (his sister loves her constant noise). This is the only factor out of the three we are likely to see at home, and it isn't the initial source, but we find we have to get him his quiet when he asks, because at that point his processing centers are just too overloaded to deal with it.

You said its the soring of the male that bothers him and not both dogs? Have you taken the male to the vet? If only one dog is doing it, there could be something wrong with the dog himself. I'd have it looked into.

Another thought, since it's so out of the blue, it could be seizures. Has he had an EEG?

WOW a lot of posts and things to go thru!! !

Okay so I made the homemade PECS cards and got a book on jealousy overnighted.
I discussed this all with him and the BIG issue is VOTECH Camp. There was a little
"jealousy" thing but then he said no. So Im not sure. He stated he loved the dog and the snoring didnt
bother him but I feel like he says things to please me at times

I asked him to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me in the future when things bother him or
hes not feeling good. He never tells me anything
Should I ask him twice a day how hes feeling? Or would that stress him out more?

Should I get a new Psych for him?

I know hes spoiled but hes a good kid! Hes always so helpful in school or baseball etc

About the EEG? See thats why someone recommended the Clinic cause its in patient and out patient.
Since he tends to fly off the handle LIKE his father, and his father refused to get help, Im thinking a "second opinion"
other then his "in and out" Psych Dr would be good. The only thing is that my son has Medicaid or whatever its called
and they only allow certain Drs

Oh and English Bulldogs snore, fart, belch and drool. Its in their nature

My son really doesn't know what bothers him. I always say he's change reactive rather than the change resistant the specialists are always looking for. He'll say yes with a great attitude to all sorts of things, and then melt down. If I ask how he feels, leading up to 2 seconds before blowing, he will say fine.

I have learned that changes (even good & fun changes) take so much out of him, he has nothing left. When he's trying to be social, it takes a lot out of him. When he's trying to focus, same thing. If he's not eating right (which he almost never is...) it contributes.

When we manage sleep, diet, noise and provide the right amount of stimulation - bingo fewer and fewer meltdowns.

My guess is the heat compounded with camp is the cause and the dog is because he knows that basically, the dog will love him anyway and there is basically no risk with attacking the dog.

While some of the other incidents are odd, they were a pretty long time ago, so I would probably focus on what's happening now.