new here

Post Reply New Topic

and hope I am in the right place- I have just requested an evaluation for my 14 y/o. Everything that I had said "Well, It's just J- he'll come into his own at his own pace" is slapping me in the face now. I feel like I have been trying to teach my son how to build the shelves of life w/ a butter knife- hopefully, this will help and he can choose what tools are available to him- even if it remains a butter knife.

Welcome to WP. I'm relatively new here too.

It is a good place for parents to ask questions - or just to get things off of your chest.

You are amongst people who will understand and can often help with advice.

thanks.

Knowledge is a key.

I am curious how your son feels about the issues he has faced so far and the process of getting evaluated. I hope he is embracing it as a possible answer and solution, but teens are tricky.

My son is 14, as well, btw. Diagnosed at 7.

Welcome!

I haven't mentioned being evaluated for any specific thing- something else had come up that seriously needed taking a look at and then there are issues w/ his dad. If his dad knew, he'd have a fit, then sit J down and 'show him ' how to answer the questions. I HAVE told him that sometimes in HS, they will give some kids a comprehensive evaluation to asses skills and strengths. I also know my son well enough to know that he, too would go online, look up all the info and may/may not 'decide' to take an honest test- he is not a kid who lies etc but he does stress/obsess over things. It's pretty clear to me, now that it's been put out there- apparently, it's been clear to others but they never told me ( and to be fair to them, I probably would have said "Nah- he's just....") I do hope for him that it is a relief - he has told me he feels 'different' and gotten mad at me and said " and DON'T tell me it's just puberty- I think it's more than that" Stupid me, I took him to a counselor who didn't get it either.

Welcome mamakat!

You are taking action now. Don't let guilt over the past hold you back. It seems pretty clear that you want what is best for your son and tried to give that to him with the tools, advice and 'professional' recommendations at your disposal.

If you can try to sit down and ask him if he wants to find out why he feels different. I wouldn't hide the evaluation as something all kids get. Getting answers is not going to change who he is and it isn't going to take away any of his strengths. It can only help him improve the things he feels make him different. No matter what it is, he is still the exact same kid no matter what. Not being straight forward about the testing could backfire in a bad way. I would start throwing around diagnostic terms - just make it a search to find out if he does actually have something more going on. Hopefully, that way, he won't try and 'fix' the test.

I'd be interested to hear about your progress...