Child just got diagnosed - wondering if I'm on the spectrum

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Hi all,

I'm a new member. My 5 yr son was just diagnosed with ASD. It's a late diagnosis because he is relatively high functioning, and it took a year to get a diagnosis.

That's not why I'm posting though. After a year of reading up on ASD, I've come to wonder if I myself am on the spectrum. I was a painfully shy child growing up, became a socially awkward teen, and an extremely introverted adult. Recently a psychologist at work said I was extremely introverted, which I agreed with. However, I wonder if I'm not ASD instead. I genuinely prefer to be alone, and have only a handful of friends whom I meet once a year. I don't call or email them at other times, usually they call me to meet up and I do.

I don't talk to other people at work who are not in my immediate department, and don't socialize with my co-workers after work. I get anxious if I have to attend a social function and don't go to parties. I also have difficulty with empathy and detecting sarcasm and hidden meanings in conversation.

What do you guys think? Do adults get diagnosed? Is there even a point?

I am in a similar boat in that I have a five year old son awaiting diagnosis and that has led me to revisit my own life.

Strangely enough although I have always showed some AS traits I am actually very good at reading people, some people note that I pick up things others don't....I often wonder these days did I just work really hard on that because I have felt like an outsider at times, I was always really immature and that led to social issues growing up, a long history of relationship issues over the years. At school my group of friends were mostly outsiders....I didn't mix well as a preschooler and was never one to follow the crowd.

I think looking into AS you get into really complex areas-where does personality, habits, choices , environment come into all of it....I suspect I wasn't AS as the key seems to be the social interaction aspect and I can do that even if it came from a lot of hard work and some personal pain. I was (sorry to admit this) an attractive person to the opposite sex and I think this made life easier .......

As an adult I don't think there's a lot to be gained by a diagnosis unless you think you need it to support things...if it were me I'd focus on your son, you've adjusted enough to get through life in what would appear a succesful manner.

I don't think it's enough for an AS disgnosis. I have similar traits but still I'm a neurotypical. I learned on WP that an Aspie is much more than this, it's a different perception of reality...

It's not at all unusual for adults to see those connections. I did too. Some adults go for the dx to put their mind at rest, or for validation that the troubles in their life do have a reason. Some don't see the point. Couple that with a lack of experienced doctors that can dx adults, it could be more trouble than its worth. There are no Dx criteria for adults in the DSM.

There are a metric ton worth of resources here to fuel your journey. You'll find lots of us are in the same boat you are. It's a friendly crew... no worries!

Welcome!

our youngest was diagnosed a year ago with classic autism. while waiting for the evaluation process to start, i did a ton of research on autistic behavioral traits and characteristics, and came to the conclusion that my SO was autistic as well. it took a few mentions to my SO for him to take me seriously, and then he started looking into it and came to the same conclusion. he got his official diagnosis of classic autism about 3 months ago.

my SO's diagnosis has been tremendously helpful, for him, our entire family, and our relationship as a couple. he has gotten some prescriptions since his diagnosis, for anxiety and depression. those are helping with his social anxiety and some frustration/agitation issues that he commonly felt. his social functioning has been going downhill the past several years, with the knowledge of his autism and the medications he is taking, he seems to be leveling out, or maybe even on a bit of an upswing now.

i think only you can really figure out if you want to see about an official diagnosis. the diagnostic criteria are the same as for children, but you will need to look at your history as well as current functioning, to adjust for things observed in childhood that you may have developed coping mechanisms for.

if you decide not to get diagnosed, its not set in stone, you can change your mind in the future. autism functioning ability changes with time and circumstances, you may find yourself at a point in the future where you want or need the diagnosis.

I was diagnosed with Asperger's shortly after my daughter (classic autism). We think my husband has a lot of AS traits as well and our son was diagnosed at age 6 and is now about to turn 9. One of the main things you need to ask yourself is does your symptoms affect your life in a negative way? My husband is not affected in the same way I am. He has a PhD in Science and is now a Professor of genetics. I could never teach or even do any type of public speaking without passing out cold . I did work in the medical field but could not make it as a nurse (fortunately I only went to school to be a medical assistant which is like a nurse but less school). I was fired from my first job when I tried medical assisting. Before that I worked as a phlebotomist (I scored high in my MA classes and was offered the phlebotomy extern and was given a job because I was good at what I did) I did very well working nights at a hospital but when I tried working in an office I could not handle the stress of my co workers and all the multi tasking that was involved in MA work. I have little to no eye contact with people but I managed to get through my interview and the doctor I worked with told me later that she just felt right about me. Still I couldnt handle the job....she was still very nice to me and made them give me severance pay and took care of me through my pregnancy with my son. She also helped me to get my next job as a phlebotomist. I worked for a mobile company where I would just get calls and drive to the facility, draw the blood and take it to a hospital or to the drop site. I rarely ever had to see my coworkers or even my boss. Too bad the company went out of business. I quit working after my daughter was diagnosed and I was also forced back into an office setting which was too much for me. I retired at age 39.
Anyway, some of the biggest defining symptoms I have is that I do not read facial expressions or body language well. I do not understand sarcasm most of the time and I simply have a lot of difficulty speaking to people and would make people upset sometimes. I can be very blunt although this is something I have worked hard to stop. I also have a lot of difficulty with "small talk" and double meanings. I have very severe anxiety and a lot of sensory issues....I was not aware that I had anxiety attacks until I described to my psychiatrist that I sometimes get "scared". He pressed me to elaborate and then he told me that what happened to me was anxiety attacks. Its hard for me to understand my own feelings sometimes or to control them.....I am much better since my diagnosis because I have a better understanding of why I do things and I have read a lot about other people with Asperger's and how they handle stress and social situations.
I try to focus on my strengths I was naturally good at taking care of sick people because I have a lot of sympathy for other people and a desire to help when someone is hurt. I may not understand some of their emotions but I know they are in pain so I try to help. I think this is what led me to the medical field. Also I had an obsession with medical journals and surgery, especially neuro surgery when I was younger. I do, however, lack empathy sometimes unless I have been through the same experience as the other person. I also found that I can write very well. I have written stories and I have found that talking to people online is so much easier for me. I have time to think and I can go back and look over what I have written. If it were not for the internet I would not have found my husband. My first marriage was a disaster but with my husband (will be 10 years in Sept) I got to know him and he got to know me. We are compatible and understand each other....and I still write to him when we have something important or difficult to talk about. Some people may find that funny but its a more natural way for me to communicate and a more effective way.
I think its helpful if you go for a diagnosis to bring along a parent or sibling or have them write anything down about your childhood that would explain a bit about how you were as a child. I also wrote down things about myself when I went for my initial evaluation for obvious reasons. Getting diagnosed....or at least learning that I have Autism has actually been very helpful for me. I now feel more at peace with myself.

Even if you were on the spectrum, why would there be any "fault" involved? Being on the spectrum is a difference, not a disability.

As the above responses show, I think it is quite common to start wondering about yourself. How far you take that really depends on your needs.

We've settled as a family on the idea that I probably have a good portion of the genes involved in ASD (which are theorized to be 20-30 different genes), and my husband has more. We think he could be diagnosed; me, not sure. And ... That is as far as we've gone with it. We've got our life and long ago accepted the limitations on it; didn't need a label to do that, although realizing there is one has simplified things at times.

So ... Best of luck on your journey with your wonderful unique child ... And with yourself, as you reach new levels of understanding on why you might do certain things.

I'm in the same boat. My daughter is just starting on the assessment process (actually an assessment of educational needs, not diagnostic). We and the school are in agreement that she probably has an ASD, possibly Aspergers. I've been doing a great deal of reading into the subject, to help me as a parent to deal with her behaviour and to ensure her happiness. Through all this reading, I've realised that many of my daughter's traits have come from me, some from her Dad. I've always suspected my husband's father and brother to have AS (it's actually pretty obvious with them) and my husband has mild face blindness, a tendency to monologue and a few other social issues. But it never occurred to me about myself before.

After reading about Aspergers, especially the book 'Aspergirls', I've realised why I've had difficulties with certain aspects of my life. I have significant sensory and concentration issues (but I did well at school despite an inability to study), was always a target for bullies, never had friendships that lasted, became painfully shy for many years due to the way others react to me, always felt like an adult as a child, can't drive as it's all too overwhelming, left university with an ordinary degree as I couldn't face the social aspects of the final year, have a telephone phobia, lack of certain social skills got in the way of progression at work, have been known to monologue, etc. I don't think I'd seek out a diagnosis, but I suspect discussions with psychologists will turn to both me and my husband. I feel at home here on WrongPlanet and appear to have loads in common with so many.

Yup! There are plenty in the same boat. I realised I had AS after finding out my 10 year old daughter had AS. We are so alike im so many ways. I do not have a DX. I don't see the point. I had a fairly full and successful 51 years before finding out I had AS. Having a DX would not change anything for me. I can now understand why I am different and can make adjustments accordingly.

My 9 year old son was just dx and I dx myself. I had suspected this dx for several years but a doctor and co-worker said no. In a sense I don't see a reason to know because I feel that there is no cure and no hope. Only now I know I'll never get to live in the state I want to move to in my older years. disappointing
I always wondered why the reference section of applications put so much fear into me. I always was bothered that I had no friends or the people that wanted to befriend me were "weirdos". I don't know why as a plain girl I seemed to try to pick the most popular girl to hang out with at work and in school.

I am still trying to recover from the shock and disappointment. Because of the asperger's, I am a slave to my husband. I cannot support myself or my children. I am a misfit toy and I can't even help my children.

Sorry, I am just down right now. I will try to stay here as long as I can for my children. The only solution to this problem is making sure my husband and I have good life insurance policies so that our kids are not homeless one day.