Kids say the darndest things

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Here's one from my 8/9 year old self:

Our form teacher was telling us that a big shot was visiting the school, and a few other people were accompanying him.

I asked if those other people were small shots.

Another one of my nephew's stories.

He was nonverbal until he was about 2 1/2 (meaning he was nonverbal his first two Christmases). His third Christmas came just a couple months before his third birthday. My brother took him to Santa at the mall. My nephew examined Santa intently, then--at just 2 years old--said, "you weren't the one here last year".

My nephew just recently (now age 8 ):

Him: I'm a fortune teller you know. I can see the future.
Me: Really? Tell me my future.
Him: It only works on kids...adults have no future.

Another one (probably around age 5 or so):

"I wonder if my Mom should breastfeed the new cat?..."

My niece (now 12) is not on the spectrum but has severe ADHD. She has said lots of cute things before too:

When she was 10, she was given a Build-a-Bear gift certificate that she had asked for for Christmas. I took her to make her bear, and while we were waiting in the line-up for the cotton she said, "This is so much fun! When I get older and have a daughter I am going to bring her here to build-a-bear to make her own bear." A moment of silence passed. "Actually, I think I will just give her this one, and then I'll come make one myself."

Age 10 also, I was watching a cooking show that had a very unappetizing close-up of ground meat. "Ewwww" she said, "get it off get it off". I flipped the channel to another woman cooking with lots of delicious-looking melted chocolate instead. My niece watched for a moment then exclaimed, "that's my kind of woman!"

Age 3 or 4, I took her to the Natural History museum which had a farm animal exhibit with real baby farm animals in the basement. She was fascinated by the sheep enclosure which had 4 or 5 white lambs and a cute little black lamb. I could not tear her away, and I had no idea why she was so focused on just the sheep. As we were leaving, she pointed to the odd-one-out, and said "I think that one's the babysitter..."

And another one by my little niece (at age 7ish) just before her mom had another baby:

"When my mom goes to the baby store, I think she should pick out a girl."

We were at a kids restaurant where they were doing a cute little art demonstration. It was early and there were't many people there. The man doing the demonstration asked if anyone had any questions and my daughter asked "What does it feel like when you die?". Everyone just turned and stared at us-the man didn't know what to say. I chuckled and wanted to tell the guy that's what you get when you ask if "anyone has ANY questions".

My six year old asked me, "what if your nickname is nickname?". LOL.

I remember me talking to my nephew who just turned three about going to the gas station with me or something like that so my mom said "should he pick you up some candy cigarettes", so i said something can't remember, then he said "a candy lighter too". He is very creative.

My son, who has AS and is now 12, has always had trouble with mixing up words that sound similar to each other but have no other connection otherwise. When he was around 5 he overheard a conversation at the bus stop between two Moms about one of their kids going to Hebrew school after school that day. The next day, he asked me "Mom, Can I go to zebra school too?" It took me a few minutes to figure out what he was talking about. I guess up until that point he had never heard the word Hebrew and thought it sounded a lot like the word zebra so he figured it must be the same thing, and he loved animals so.... That one still gets us laughing to this day.

My little aspie is totally in his own world most of the time. He doesn't particularly engage and has a lot of difficulty with back and forth interaction. He surprised me tonight!

Son: Give me a kiss.
Me: -kisses him-
Son: Give Froggy a kiss.
Me: -kisses Froggy-
Son: Mommy...?
Me: Yes dear?
Son: ...Give Froggy a fist bump.

When I was a little kid, my grandparents ran into someone they knew at the store. The lady said Hi and she also bent down and said hi to me. I said nothing. My grandpa said "Meg, say Hi" I once again said nothing. Later my grandpa asked why I didnt respond. I told him, in a dead serious tone,...."Mom said dont talk to strangers"

A few other things I did as a kid (of course I thought it was hilarious)
- na na na na na na na FAT MAN! (instead of Batman)
- Booger king (instead of Burger King)
- Old McDonald had a farm and on his farm he had a ......cheeseburger!