Suprise IEP Meeting

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We attended an IEP meeting today that was called out of the blue last week.

The one thing I have been fighting for the hardest, and have had the most anxiety over in these meetings was their lack of response to my daughter needing classroom assistance with her writing disability. She was receiving supplemental reading/writing classes but she had no one on one help in the classroom during writing assignments - which, in the 4th grade would also include math. They reduced me to tears last year in how hard they resisted. This year I printed up a list in black and white of what sort of help my daughter needs to write competently and her OT has been working diligently to find software and a method that will work with her combination of challenges.

So, today, her classroom teacher tells all gathered that she can not provide the level of support my daughter needs in a full classroom and that she needs more help than a single teacher can provide. Like she had read it directly off of the letter I wrote a month and a half ago. They will be taking her for small group instruction in language arts - 5 kids. We again outlined the strategies we use at home for the NEW special ed teacher who she is being transferred to. Putting an aide in the room would have been preferable but at least now some forward progress can be made.

It's a win, right? So why do I feel like I've just been hit by a truck? Why have my words fallen on deaf ears for a year and a half and only now are they listening and presenting it to me like it is some big shock?! They seemed like they honestly expected us to be devestated by this news. The way they were acting I was afraid they were going to try and put her exclusively in special ed. Her writing disability is clearly stated in her IEP yet our home strategies just aren't good enough for them. I just do not understand why a parents words are discounted and go unheard. Worse yet, how can one person be happy, pissed and ready to cry all at the same time?

So, occassionally, they get it even if it takes awhile to sink in. I swear these IEP's are worse than anything we deal with at home...

From what I have read here and heard from friends, getting a child through school with an IEP should qualify one for an advanced degree of some type. "Doctorate of Stick-to-it-ivness" maybe?

It sounds like quite the frustrating situation. Good on you for hanging in there! It's the result that counts anyway, right?

Your reaction, while possibly not totally rational, is totally understandable. They've been disregarding your input, ignoring your child's needs, and now are providing support in, what can best be described as the way they view as most stigmatizing. I would suggest that you find out what strategies the teacher is going to be using, what kind of curriculum will be used, what standards will be adhered to, etc. Often, when students are taught in small instruction environments, the content is watered down. This should NEVER happen, and they will tell you (i.e. lie to you) that it is not happening, but you really have to keep track of what your child is learning, and compare it to what her peers in the larger class are learning.

You will also want to find out what the teacher's background is, regarding teaching students with a disorder of written expression. Just because a teacher might be certified in special education, doesn't mean that teacher is qualified to meet the needs of every child with every special need. In fact, children with disorders of written expression often need to work with a highly skilled, specially trained speech and language pathologist - the issues involved in this disorder are often language disorders, being expressed in the written form, and an SLP is the proper expert to work with the child. You might want to discuss this possibility with the special ed teacher, if there does not seem to be good progress within a reasonable period of time. Even if they don't want to have a regular session for your daughter with the SLP, they might have the SLP consult with the teacher to provide strategies for working with kids who struggle with written expression.

Maybe they thought that you would be upset about having her pulled out of class rather than them using a teacher's aid?

Parents are supposed to be part of the IEP team, but instead they are often treated like adversaries, especially when there is a budget crunch and not enough supplies and services to go around.

I had a bomb dropped on me when my older son was in kindergarten, about a week before school was out for the summer. Out of the blue, I was told that they were taking away his teacher's aid the next year. I had spent months putting together reading and speech lessons for the summer and had not intended to focus heavily on social skills. I came to the meeting with a bunch of ideas on how social skills and behavior could be addressed the next school year by the school. Instead, I ended up hiring the only ABA therapist that I could find available at the last minute and working on social skills and behavior all summer.

I think that budget cuts were at the root of the situation.

Also, it took a solid year for my son's school district to evaluate him for occupational therapy, with me complaining the entire time and an evaluation stated in the IEP goals. By the time he was tested, he didn't qualify because I had gotten frustrated and hired private help. (Which is a good thing, since he ended up having to be worked with 3-4 days a week for several months by the OT therapist and ABA therapist to change a fist writing grip to a regular writing grip. The school would have never provided the extent of services needed.)

They also dragged their feet about doing a formal evaluation for autism and an IQ test--kept trying to fully mainstream him--a high functioning child with classic autism. (He initially qualified for special ed based on failing a social skills test, and they didn't want to bother to complete further testing that appeared to be warranted.)

Seemed like they would argue with me during IEP meetings or agree to this or that but drag their feet about following through.

I personally found contacting personnel in the special ed department of the school district and threatening legal action to be helpful. At least I am treated more respectfully, even if I have come to realize that the school staff lacks the training and supplies to deal with all of my son's issues, in addition to heavy budget pressures.

Anyway, you are not alone in being frustrated with the IEP process.

I seriously didn't want to believe this at first, but having a glimpse of it now (and my kid's only 4) and reading/listening to others' stories, I'm beginning to realize that stalling and purposely brushing off / ignoring is a viable and consistently used school tactic. They know some parents (like us) will get frustrated and hire private help, then they can sometimes take the credit for how well the child's doing. They also know some parents will give up. Then there are some parents who will go the legal route and they will then sit up and take notice, but not all parents want to get to that point.

There has to be a better way. I get the whole "funding" problem. But is this a good enough reason? For me as a parent, no it isn't. But I also don't know what the alternatives to these tactics are, other than facing it and continually bugging the school, getting private therapy, or threatening the legal route.

Thanks everyone for the replys!

bombaloo - I have learned more about vague language and outright sneaky underhanded tactics in these past four years than I could have ever believed. When my daughter was in the IU and preschool - it was all very clear cut, upfront and mazingly helpful. When she went on to kindergarten We trusted in the system that was already at work. By first grade I was kind of kicking my self for feeling suspicious but by third grade we had been lied to, deceived, conned and nearly lost all services at the hand of one school councelor more concerned with her bottom line than anything else. the teachers have all been great though - it's only the admin that has been a nightmare. Thankfully.

jat - this is our fourth meeting in two months - this was the first official change-the-IEP one. And I even managed to not bring up the fact that the required invitation paperwork never reached us. There is a long list of paperwork that just disappears into the ether. My daughter is being placed with a language specialist -my daughter usually sees her for small group testing as well. I'm comfortable with her but we will be keeping a close eye out. Hopefully, it can not be any worse than the lack of attention she received in the regular classroom. They have a 45 minute writing period. And my daughter was basically being left to her own devises... this after we expressly told them how much prompting she needed and how she would probably need assistive technology. Even with the support of her OT they wanted to 'give it a go'. Not only did my words go unheard but even those of the specialist that was there to help address the issues. Good news - I presented them with a link to an organization giving away ipads to schools and a website full of apps especially for special needs kids. I'm going to try and work with her OT to see if we can't make this happen for her. Unfortunately, we are not in a financial position to provide private therapists and devices and such. I very much need to create something out of nothing. There is ALWAYS a way. It just kinda wears you down getting there sometimes.

blondeambition - It is ALWAYS about the money. If money weren't an issue no one would have any of these issues at all. Money fixes everything. I'm sorry you had to go through that evaluation fight. We came into school with a 504 already in place so there was already that level of understanding. and the worse roadbolck in our case is that I have an AS daughter who is the sweetest, friendliest, haapiest kid in the world. All her teachers love her. And because of that I heard 'but she's not that bad...'. Because people have good feelings about her, they tend not to see the details. My daughter also hides many of her difficulites quite well. Now - FINALLY - they are all paying attention. Having doctors than none of them would think to question helped. Calling the district office is what prompted this meeting I believe. I'm not at the threatening stage yet. I hope to never get there. I only pulled IDEA law on them once and that was regarding signing an incomplete IEP before the changes had been made. Yes - they asked me to do that.

jstriding - it all depends on the school district. We are in a good district that is always high in the state rankings but it is half blue collar working class and half white collar upper middle class. The services are there and the commitment to students is there just not always the money. There are many many stories many times worse than mine but there are also good stories. We don't hear alot about those because people have no reason to complain about them on the internet! I have to tell you - when I presented them with the links to the website for the iPads alot of faces lit up. Therein may be the key. I tend to share my resources whenever I find them. But advocating for the school as well as my child will go much further than just banging my head against the wall repeatedly. I do buy into that whole 'it takes a village' concept. I am more than willing to do it. But it takes more than one person to make that reality. Wish I had the answer too...

i know how frustrating it is to deal with a school that just won't listen. i moved so my kids are at new schools. i gave the school a list of things my step-son would need to be successful in school based on the previous year. they brushed it all off and didn't want to provide any of it. now they are 'discovering' it bit by bit, very slowly and adding one thing at a time. most recently they decided he would need a quiet place he could go at lunch hour or when he gets overwhelmed and call me in to tell me that they figured out he needs this. meanwhile, that is the first thing after an EA on the list of necessities i gave them at the beginning of the year. now they think they should start weaning him off his ea and backing off the supervision a bit so they can see what he will do.