Constant Correcting

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I've noticed that my 5 year old stepdaughter's older brother (with AS) is constantly correcting or interupting her. It's gotten to the point that I've seen him simply yell at her if she tries to speak. He has tried "punishing" the children as well (with timeouts or a verbal talking to) but in most cases uses it to his advantage. He is much easier on his younger brother (7). I'm afraid that she will revert inward and lose the independance and spark she has from constantly being told to be quiet. We've talked to all of them repeatedly about this issue, but I was wondering if there are any other suggestions someone might have.

This is something that my son's social skills class deals with on a fairly regular basis.

My son does this, more as a "know-it-all" thing than anything else. When he does it to me, I always point out "hey, do you like it when I correct you all the time? Don't do that -- it isn't a great way to make friends. If people are wrong, or not as smart as you, just let it slide." We are still working on it.

Kris

I think you're on the right track by addressing it with all of your kids when you catch it happening. When our aspie son goes on a correcting spree with his younger sister, we try to help him understand that, like Schleppenheimer said, there are some things best to just let slide, and that if he really feels an uncontrollable need to interject, there are gentle ways of getting his point across. At the same time, we're trying to let his sister know that if she's being hounded or yelled at, she doesn't have to stick around and tolerate being treated in a manner that makes her feel bad. It's a delicate balance, because we don't want to put either one of our kids off of wanting to interact with each other, but we don't want our youngest to become a doormat for everybody because of how her brother sometimes treats her. They actually get along really well most of the time, but our aspie can be very controlling even when play is going smoothly. Our little one is actually turning out to be a very patient person, and as she gets older and understands more about her brother's asperger, I think she's going to turn out to be one of his best allies when times get tough for him.

Our DS does the very same thing to his 7 year old sister. If we tell her to do something, like make her bed, he'll go to her door and stand there barking orders how to make it properly.

We've gone to calling him into the living room and pointing out that he and his sister each have two parents, we all have jobs in the family, etc. We do make sure he is aware he is there to protect his sister, but that parenting should be left to the experts. LOL

While we can leave DS home alone for an hour or so if necessary, we could never leave him home with his sister. They'd have each other torn apart. (he's 12 but she'd do more damage!)

Hi
I am a new member to this site. I found out about it just today because I watched the t.v. program "The View".
I am so grateful. I have been on here reading for almost 2 hours! Relating to so many posts.
Anyway...
My son Jordan corrects my daughter even when me or his Dad is right in the same room already handling the problem.
He seems to feel its his job to back Mom and Dad up. I have tried to explain to him that it just sometimes makes it worse. Okay, most of the time it makes it worse. At least I feel that way right now.
My daughter is 12 yrs old and Jordan is 13 yrs old, almost 14. My daughter is very hormonal right now and very emotional etc... She most definitely does not appreciate her brother correcting her or trying to enforce what Mom and Dad told her to do or not to do.
He gets very loud with her and she returns the favor...sigh.
He is in Junior High and in special education with an IEP plan. He even will do this with his older brother who is 16 yrs old and most definately doesn't appreciate him doing this.
It seems no matter how I explain to him why it isn't helpful to his parents for him to do this he tells me and his Dad that our daughter is running roughshod over us and we just let her. His feelings get very hurt when my husband and I ask him to stop and tell him it isn't helping and is making it worse.
I am wondering if it fulfills him in some way to perform this job? And wondering if there is someway to put him on another job that would fulfill him in the same way and then maybe he would back off of parenting his siblings?
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!
Karebear

my son does this all the time too. I wish I had a helpful suggestion but I am just as clueless as what to do about as everyone else. Some of it is he is being a sort of "know it all" and some of it is keeping order, for example, my 3 yr old will be playing with his trains and Caleb starts to yell at him (and I do mean yell) because they are not in the right order. We work on it but I can't say it has improved any