10yo can't tolerate his dad's breathing/eating sounds. help!

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Wow. Thanks so much to everyone for the information! I did look up Misophonia and that does sound a lot like what is going on--especially since it started just in the last year. I'm so glad to have this insight--I can already tell I'm going to be spending a lot of time reading these forum discussions!

My partner has this, I never knew it had a name. I also experience it occasionally if I'm sick or very stressed. As others have said he's fine if there's ample background noise such as in a restaurant or if we're watching TV. I think one of the reasons we're still together is that I tolerate and work around it, we usually eat meals either in front of the TV or in separate rooms in front of our computers because of it. My partner is 40 so if that's any indication he may not outgrow it.

Wow, I've learned something new today!

A lot of people have this problem and I don't think it's related to ASD's. I personally can't stand the sound of people slurping noodles (which is an issue since I live in Japan now). At a previous job, the person sitting next to me used to eat apples all the time and I couldn't stand the noise.

When we were kids my sister couldn't stand the sound of me eating with a fork or spoon.

Sorry if I can't really offer any help. Personally I don't think it's appropriate to sit at the dinner table wearing earplugs or headphones.

So funny that I read this post today since I sat at the dinner table tonight with my husband and in laws and listened to them crunch away while eating chips and celery sticks! (they ate other things, too!) We had background music on, but it wasn't enough. I wanted to yell at them all!! lol! I literally could not make eye contact with them during dinner because of it.

This is a very interesting topic. I hate eating noises and some breathing noises of people. The first time I remember being angered when someone ate was with my step-dad. It sounded loud and so very annoying (I was an early teen, maybe 14?) I remember getting up from the table after yelling at him for being so loud. He was confused and I got in trouble. I hated the sound, and the fact that I had to quietly sit at the table and listen to it drove me crazy. I hadn't always been bothered again until recently. I ask my kids to eat quieter. Sometimes they can. I found (with my step dad) that it was because he would rush air behind his nose as he chewed, and to me, the sound was just really loud and disgusting (it reminds me of someone throwing up). Obviously, this cannot always be helped, and when my kids are eating something like pizza, I just let them sit at the table and I go into the room next to them. I still hold conversations with them as they eat, but I am far enough away that I do not hear it.

I also notice that if the TV is on or if music is playing in the background, I do not notice it as much. I am happy to read this thread, because I was feeling badly about not eating in the same room as the kids sometimes. I think I will try to listen to music as we eat and see if that helps.

My son only seems to have a problem with my husband's eating and breathing. I sat down right next to him on the couch and ate a pear and crackers last night. He didn't even notice! We do have a pretty quiet house--I'm sensitive to noise myself so we keep the tv volume low when it's on. He isn't into video games or anything (will play some games on the computer but that's about it). He's not big on earphones of any kind. He mostly likes quiet activities like reading, drawing and crossword puzzles. I'm thinking the best solution is to have him go in his room when we eat. It's unfortunate to not be able to have family meals--but it sounds like this is one of those things we just have to accept as long as we try to do other things together as a family! Again, thanks to everyone for the insight. This is really interesting!

I suffer with this too. I'm not on the spectrum either.

Background noise definitely helps. The more wound up I am, the more it bothers me. If I'm trying to concentrate on something and listen inside my head, it is more irritating too.

Think about ear defenders and noise cancelling headphones rather than in-ear buds. They are more obvious, but more comfortable, so he might tolerate them better.

As someone else suggested, it might be worth trying Therapeutic Listening. Also working with an Occupational Therapist on some Sensory Integration Therapy. If he did some Sensory Diet activities before mealtimes, his body might be more regulated and calm, then he might be able to tolerate the noises better, in conjunction with some background noise or white noise machine.

More good ideas! Thanks!

I didn't know this was a diagnosable thing. I have this and so does my son.

My mom's eating used to drive me crazy. In addition to the noise blocking things out, I think my mom made more of an effort not to be noisy at restaurants. I used to have to leave the room when she would eat at home.

My son can't stand sneezing and coughing noises.

I had similar issues with my parents growing up. The use of certain words, sounds, or even eating would drive me bat @#$# crazy. I could not stand the word "Fresh" as if he had just gone to the store and bought fresh vegetables. I hated the interaction and would avoid him at all costs. There are several other instances varying in degree. Especially as a young teenager. After my 20's i calmed down quite a bit. But still to this day, both my parents always do some things that annoy the bejezus out of me. I think its normal. But who is?

Wonderful thread! The youngest of my 3 Aspies has this! I figured it was just another sensory thing. Family meals are a nightmare for him. He esp hates the sounds of forks on teeth, but he has also often complained about his brothers' "breathing" noises. I find it interesting that this triggers anger, not necessarily pain or discomfort. Its so true! He will just get livid! We have found that he is worse when overall stress is higher (bad day at school, routine changes, etc). He has used earbuds and iPod in the past, or leaves to eat in his room when its bothering him. We have recently ditched the idea of family meals and just let every one eat wherever they are most comfortable, like out in the living room with the TV on. The only problem I have is that I am sensitive to too many random sounds so having the TV or radio on, plus kid chatter, plus baby babble during dinner drives ME batty. Sometimes I eat in my room, lol.

i can't stand the sound of people eating crunchy things like chips, some fries, dry cereal, etc... it used to not bother me but now i get so annoyed by it. it seems like the majority of people can eat most things quietly except for chips lol

Thank you all! It is wonderful to know I am not alone in this. My Mom was always sensitive to eating sounds, so I thought it was just a learned thing for me. But, since I have other sensory issues, it is very likely to be misophonia. Yes, it is eating and breathing noises. I have trouble going to the movies because of the sounds of people eating (even heard over the loud movie). I used to want to punch my husband for breathing so loudly when I was trying to sleep (He has lost 90 pounds over the last year and now does not breathe as loudly, so it is better, but not gone).
What helps me is not being around someone else who is eating when I am not eating. Unfortunately, eating every time someone else eats around me is not good for my weight. But, I have to get popcorn at the movie theater even if I am not hungry so that I am eating to help block out some of the noise of other people eating.
One of the other hard ones for me is that chewing gum is very helpful for my AS son, but hearing him chew it drives me completely crazy. It is a hard balancing act.
I find it interesting that with misophonia, the noise that a friend or family member makes is more irritating than a stranger.

I would venture to guess this is anxiety related and increases during times he is feeling more anxiety and decreases accordingly.