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loubee
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25 Jan 2007, 12:58 pm

My step son learns sex ed in school this year and I'm a little nervous. We know he's curious (he was caught looking up sex on the internet) but he is 11 and still enjoys shows and activities that his 5 year old sister deems "too babyish". He also likes to run around in his underwear with his little brother playing "jungle". We applied a "clothes on" policy in the house not knowing where curiousity could lead. I know every child is different, but are there any experiences you can share with me to let me know what to expect? Thank you.



aspiesmom1
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25 Jan 2007, 1:42 pm

My husband just had the "big talk" with our DS last night, he is 12.

When he was dx'd at 10, he behaved like he was 6 or 7 most of the time, and got along quite well with his 5 year old sister.

In the last 6 months his body has gone through some big changes, and along with that so has his maturity level. I know that's not the experience of all kids with AS. With some it seems their bodies leave their minds behind.

Our son also saw nothing wrong with strolling around in as little clothing as he saw fit - so at one point we had to institute the "robe rule". (He hates wearing a robe, so the rule was clothes or a robe.)

You just have to watch your child for what stage they are in, and communicate with them at that level. Anything they teach at school is likely to be minimal and may mostly go over his head.


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25 Jan 2007, 4:31 pm

Are you in the UK or the USA?

The level of sex ed. is very diffrent in each.



schleppenheimer
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25 Jan 2007, 4:48 pm

Sounds like we are all wondering the same thing.

I just went to the school this week to view the "Aids" and "Human Growth and Development" videos for the fifth grade boys. Most of it is handled just fine, but my son is very modest and I'm wondering if he will be embarrassed by it all.

Do I tell give him the "big" talk before these videos? Do I wait until he's a little older?. . . I think I'll wait a little bit, before I give him THE talk.



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26 Jan 2007, 9:06 pm

schleppenheimer wrote:
Most of it is handled just fine, but my son is very modest and I'm wondering if he will be embarrassed by it all.

loubee wrote:
My step son learns sex ed in school this year and I'm a little nervous. We know he's curious (he was caught looking up sex on the internet) but he is 11 and still enjoys shows and activities that his 5 year old sister deems "too babyish".

Am in no position to give advice, can only share what that time was like for me (adult female dx'd only recently). Sex ed. class was in junior high, 7th or 8th grade (this was back in the 80's), so I was 12 or 13. Had already learned about the facts from science books & occasional glimpses at "naughty" materials. Was very curious & interested in learning about (NOT doing !) sex but it was also way too much for me to handle (emotionally & on sensory level) even contemplating. At that stage, I was in rebellion against the opposite sex, romantic notions of dating, and all that "normal" coupling. Made me an easy target for teasing, though I only see that in retrospect-didn't understand why at the time.
Sex ed. class made me so embarrassed, it was bad enough hearing about gross stuff, but in front of other people (esp. snickering classmates) was much worse. I considered asking my mother to write me an excuse note to get out of it, but I felt I'd draw negative attention (from peers) by doing so. Also, didn't want to think there might've been something in the class that I DID actually want to hear (and I'd missed out on it), whether educational or interpersonal in nature.
So, explaining what sort of behavior & comments (from other students) are likely to be encountered in the class might be worth telling beforehand, in deciding if it's "worth" enduring/experiencing in that manner. I was less uncomfortable if able to read about "it" privately, or ask questions of a "safe" older/adult friend or relative-someone who would NOT jump to conclusion that my interest in knowledge meant I was going to DO something.


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itsangel
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01 Feb 2007, 3:53 pm

I got the family health book out which has medical type pictures and i showed my kid explained so she could understand then i just said if you ever want to ask questions just ask.
Every now and then she asks me something and we have a chat .
Im not embarrised about it even though my parents never ever talked to me about sex ed.



Hope4Alex
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07 Feb 2007, 1:22 pm

I'm right there with you. Caught my 10 yr. old looking up porn on the computer! Not a way you want your child to learn, but probably how most do. He's just 10, but apparently very curious. I told DH it's time for the big "talk" even though he never had it with my older son. I feel like we need it in this situation because his maturity level has no caught up with what his body is starting to go through.

Funny, my son thinks nothing of running naked~what's up with that?! I am a house full of boys, but he's not shy at all around me. (Hence the maturity level I spoke about)



Revenant
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07 Feb 2007, 2:35 pm

Just make sure he doesn't initiate masturbation before puberty.
If he exhaust all his hormones and neurotransmitters he will become underdeveloped in puberty and prematurely impotent.
School medicine say there is no such thing as overmasturbation. That's wrong.

Lazy kids are overmasturbation victims.
Make sure he doesn't masturbate until he is at least 14-15 years old. It is for his own best.



aspiesmom1
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07 Feb 2007, 2:58 pm

Revenant wrote:
Just make sure he doesn't initiate masturbation before puberty.
If he exhaust all his hormones and neurotransmitters he will become underdeveloped in puberty and prematurely impotent.
School medicine say there is no such thing as overmasturbation. That's wrong.

Lazy kids are overmasturbation victims.
Make sure he doesn't masturbate until he is at least 14-15 years old. It is for his own best.


I'm not sure where you get this from. Babies masturbate. It has no effect on future sexuality.

(It also doesn't cause blindness or hairy palms, just in case...)


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Hope4Alex
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07 Feb 2007, 4:43 pm

First of all~how would you even go about making sure he doesn't masturbate and 2nd of all, where did you get this information?



Revenant
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07 Feb 2007, 5:04 pm

Ok, let him masturbate.

Its a fun experiment until you see the outcome.



Hope4Alex
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08 Feb 2007, 9:59 am

That's not an answer~I'd really like to know where you got your information.



aspiesmom1
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09 Feb 2007, 2:13 pm

There is no such published information. Not in any peer review or scientific journal.

Sounds more like something coming from a pulpit.


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Revenant
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09 Feb 2007, 2:35 pm

Ok.

Just observe the final outcome.
Its not always amusing.



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10 Feb 2007, 10:54 am

Revenant wrote:
Ok.

Just observe the final outcome.
Its not always amusing.


If you were able to exhaust hormones and neurotransmitters you would be DEAD; they are vital for everything our bodies do-- from neuron to neuron communication, cell to cell, and from regulating our reproductive systems and our blood glucose levels. You cannot live without them and there is no way to exhaust them.

Masturbation will issue a rush of adrenalin and other hormones, but I'm afraid, Revenant, there is an endless supply provided all glands continue working properly. If you are implying that these glands are somehow injured from early masturbation, then I think you need to take some human anatomy courses.

If anything, constant masturbation will only get you addicted, and alter your dopaminergic levels. But that can happen at any age.

I am interested as to your reasoning, however. I am assuming this is something you've concluded from your own life experience. If something did happen following excessive masturbation prior to puberty for you, I really think you've seriously misinterpreted what happened. I'm not saying something didn't happen, but as for whether it was due to the masturbation or a change in your hormone levels, your conclusion sounds very off.


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Revenant
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10 Feb 2007, 12:28 pm

Well, I expected something like that for an answer.


Ok, want proof?

Ejaculate 5 times a day for the next month.
If you don't feel exhausted or notice physiological/psychological disorders or sexual dysfunctions, continue for another month upping the frequency to 10 times a day.


Of course, I don't recommend doing that.