Morning struggles with 4 y.o. with autism??? Overload... :(

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Good old fashioned bribery! If DS eats 25 mouthfuls of dinner then he gets 7 M&M's. We also use the M&M's as behavioural bribery - bad behaviour means fewer M&M's as the day goes on. It works for him.

Selective eating and neophobia of foods, in and of themselves, is a separate issue - but if you're trying to get your kid out the door in the morning, I don't think that's the time to fight that battle.

Many people work with their OT and speech therapist to address these issues. There's a blog I really like on feeding kids and nutrition, although it's not specific to kids on the spectrum I think it's very helpful: http://itsnotaboutnutrition.squarespace ... nsory.html She has lots of other good advice: http://itsnotaboutnutrition.squarespace ... foods.html

No matter what path you choose with a selective eater, it is a long, slow process to change that behavior and IMO, not worth a struggle first thing in the morning.

If you're having trouble getting a diagnosis, you might try contacting one of the big children's hospitals in Louisvile, Lexington, or Cincinnati and asking if they have a group of developmental psychologists who are trained to administer the ADOS (Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule.) If she's has already taken the ADOS, you might have her retested at age 5, when they switch to a module designed for older kids. (On another board I know of someone whose child did not meet the score cutoff at age 4, but did at age 5. My own son did not measure on the spectrum at age 2.75 but did at age 5.)

Are there other issues that make the morning difficult or is it just the pancakes? Is she rigid about food at other meals? Or about life in general (always has to do things HER way, etc)?

I'm going in with the "Give her pancakes" crowd, especially at that age and especially if she's otherwise eating a variety of food.

It's not particularly life threatening to eat pancakes every day for breakfast, especially if you can work in some variety. Does she always have to have the same brand/flavor/etc or can you vary that?

Can you add anything else she really likes (fruit maybe?) to the plate* without asking her to choose* without her having a meltdown? Maybe you can slowly incorporate adding something else to the routine (pancakes and the same small amount of something else, every day for a few weeks) and if she accepts that, slowly (over a few weeks again) incorporate something else into the mix.

IWe've had waffles with various kinds of berries or fruit on top for something like a month now.
I agree with giving her pancakes with different sides.
Maybe add egg.

Also I might make a huge batch of pancakes and freeze them at the beginning of the week. Pancakes and waffles freeze well.
Just a thought, if you have frozen pancakes, then all you have to do is pop them in the oven for a 8-10 min
instead of cooking a special meal for her.

You can also put frozen pancakes in the toaster. Takes just a few minutes to warm them up.

I would just give her the pancakes and I agree with the other poster who advised against changing the way they're made or adding anything to them. My son has to have his food exactly as he wants it, yes, down to the brand and he does notice the difference, often just by the appearance or smell of it.

For years my son had chocolate Complan for breakfast, and sometimes for his tea as well, then one day - no more Complan. Of course he decided that after I'd bought two big boxes of the stuff, but there you go!

My pancakes always end up too big to fit in the toaster

This is a great suggestion, i never looked at it this way, could be a possible root of the problem (i just knew she had a problem being fussy when right waking up), along with the other great suggestions of freezing pre-made pancakes if I just can't deal with as much pressure some mornings. Thank you so much everyone for the great advice!

Zap 'em. I'm tellin' ya.

I'll have to look into this. She likes things a certain way (eats certain foods, picky eater, etc) and if it doesn't go her way whether she wants something or something is unpredictable, she throws a fit, screaming, throwing things, banging on the wall with her hands and feet, hitting herself in the head and tells me "ok I'm gonna hurt myself then!" and I get frustrated and annoyed and ignore her, without any eye contact, sit in time out, throwing a fit and banging the wall, and until she calms down and is quiet, she sits there. This happens the same way every morning over dang pancakes and if one minute we say no to pancakes, there goes Gracee doing the same thing for 20 minutes up against the wall, but if he say no like some mornings and give her choices of other foods - she wil even sit there and cry sometimes for almost an hour and will refuse to eat any other breakfast cooked and will say "fine I'll wait to lunch then"... I'm not denying she has oppositional defiant but if she does, she definitely has it on top of autism, she is smart, but can be manipulative. Even though she caught up on most language, she has mostly sensory problems (was flapping in church last sunday when singing a song with other kids and has meltdowns). She has been stimning a lot more often. She is also looking at starting preschool in a month. Maybe she is stressed from a the changes and wants more predictability? Like the poster said - do visual schedules. I think that's what I'm gonna try. Thank you

We've had lots of discussions on here about whether or not autistic kids are being manipulative with their challenging behaviors. The people I see who are having the most success with their kids choose NOT to believe that the behaviors are manipulative and see them as communication that things are NOT going well for the child. The behaviors may well be an attempt to change the situation but not due to malice or because the child is spoiled but because, for whatever reason, the situation is intolerable for the child. It takes a lot of time and patience but if you take that time and really investigate the things that are triggering the difficult behaviors, you will find life to be more peaceful and most likely you will stop seeing her behaviors as attempts to manipulate you. A member here wrote a great ebook which you can download for free at http://www.asdstuff.com/grats.html. Although you have AS too, it sounds like you are struggling to understand your daughter's behavior, maybe this book will help. Good luck!

I don't think diet is a giggling matter. It could be one of the causes of our neurological problems. Some WPers might read my comment and decide, as I did thirty years ago, that it's a good idea to start children on a healthy diet, and then if they develope a limited repertoire at least they will be eating a few healthy foods.
I take your point about liking the same food for breakfast every day. I'm definitely that way inclined.

Has anyone read, "Can't Eat, Won't Eat: Dietary Difficulties and Autistic Spectrum Disorders: Dietary Difficulties and the Autism Spectrum"? After reading the reviews, I've decided to order it. I'm in a bit of a panic about my daughter's diet and hope it will ease my concerns. I'm also hoping that it will provide some techniques to encourage a healthy diet too, but I'm not sure whether it will help with that.

Come back and tell us whether it's any good! We tried seasions with an OT using the Sensory Oral Something approach described in Just Take a Bite and Food Chaining, and it didn't work for DS, so I'm always interested in what else is out there.

I am not laughing at a poor diet. But rather the idea that when you have a picky eater, you can make random changes to the few foods they will eat and expect them to continue to eat them. With the amount of energy, effort, and exasperation that has gone into eating in my house, you often have two choices: You laugh or you cry. And sometimes the laughter can get a bit maniacal.