Need to vent.... how to handle rejection/loneliness???

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I am having a really bad day......

Since we moved to the area, my daughter is in school, earning her "stars", doing the program, etc. etc.

I have free time again. However lately I haven't been using it to take care of myself at all. I feel like I am drowning for although my husband tells me we are doing everything we can, the social aspect of all of this with my daughter really has me down.


I feel so stuck for I am the only girls/special needs mom at the school/district - I reached out to her special ed teacher with my concerns re: my daughter and playing with other girls her age..... they have facilitated recess/play programs and the older grades are assigned to play with my daughter. They are working on her social skills...... However... the special needs/boy's moms are bonding together and here we are stuck between being blown off by the neurotypicals and the boys moms...... this stinks. I don't know what else to do but sit and wait..... If I get one more "oh lets get together" comment and no real commitment, no email replies from these moms I am going to start screaming..........

You feel alllll this pressure to set up playdates, etc. etc......... from WHERE???? When your kid has no one to play with, no one wants to play with her, no neighborhood kids around, no relatives....... what am I supposed to do??????

I am not a girl scout/volunteer mom type - I can't commit to that with my husband's work commitments and he travels out of town alot. My mother is here for relief here and there. Can't afford a babysitter/nanny type. Can't work.

I feel at a loss. I am either living in my kitchen most of the time making all my daughter's special foods or obsessing on the internet on autism. Now that we have moved here..... the school is way better for my child however my quality of life is the same..... I am a stressed out worried mom.

My daughter's best friend is our dog. Thank God for my little girl dog...... I want to clone her.


I don't know how you deal with this pain/frustration...... I just feel like telling everyone off.

Do any of you see a therapist for this? I feel like I am crazy.

Thanks for listening.

Has it been a while since you moved? Maybe they haven`t grown on you yet.

I can relate. I just moved too, no acquaintances or friends, the kiddo is not experiencing bullying, but has no friends, no family, and no support system (except me) - and I am a single mom. It is undeniably more than a little difficult.

I hope that things improve for the both of you, soon.

I often feel like you describe. I have seen therapists in the past-but end up quitting because it does me no good to talk about it with someone who doesn't understand. I remember once I confided in a therapist about some dark thoughts I had and they just focused on that and wanted to discuss it endlessly. With me, these deep feelings of loneliness and even helplessness come and go-they tend to get very bad when my daughter regresses or has a particularly disturbing incident/meltdown.

I have over time withdrawn from social circles involving other mothers because THEY DO NOT GET IT, and while that sounds somewhat condescending of me, the basic fact is when I see disapproving looks or have uncomfortable moments I just don't want to continue the charade. I like them, I like hanging out with them, but it seems very few people really appreciate and admire my daughter for the unique person she is, quirks and all. And I don't like feeling we are disturbing their "normal" gathering-it makes me angry and sad at the same time. It's hard to explain but after 9 years of this I am as tired of playing the NT social charade as my daughter is.

I don't worriy about playdates so much anymore. My daughter prefers to play alone or have perhaps one good friend over very rarely. Some may invite us but we don't go and they know we won't-especially if it is a loud, crowded social gathering like a birthday party.

Hope things look up for you soon.

Well, I don't know a whole lot to say. If any of y'all are within 250 miles of Pittsburgh, maybe you could speak up and we could set something up.

I'd like my kids to have more chances to interact with other kids in their own time and their own ways.

And I don't get on with the "normal" mommies of "normal" kids. We bore each other and make each other uncomfortable.

Here's how I do it....
The depression and isolated feeling I have very, very often is, to me, part of the whole experience of having a kid on the spectrum. My son's (he's 15) social needs do not fit what "society" tells us it "should" look like - he wants social interaction- but not a lot of it and on terms that are comfortable for him and that involve his specific interests....that rules out A LOT of things....we've tried all the NT stuff (mostly before we knew he was an Aspie) and we finally got it through our thick heads...hmmm he's not really enjoying this activity or class, etc. so why are we making him do it?

Making peace with how my son is helps a lot - he is who he is. We cannot make him into a "normal" teenager. He's not and that's OK.

That doesn't mean we keep him isolated because he only has 1 friend (who he sees rarely but communicates through email and Google chat sometimes). I really believe that for him being "in the real world" and figuring out how to navigate it is more important for him right now. He needs to know how to live independently, he needs to know how to buy stuff at the store, he needs to have good phone skills, he needs to know how to drive, he needs to know how to get a checking account, he needs to know how to ask someone for help, he needs to know how to do laundry and on and on.....If he can't do any of those things then his social life doesn't seem that important. I think my son would be able to make a friend or two as an adult -maybe more? But, to be honest, I'm more concerned about him living on his own. So that means I make him go out and do real life stuff with me...he buys his own comic books, games and pays and does it correctly (unfold the bills and hand them to the clerk, don't give him a ball of dollar bills), he calls different places to ask what their hours are or ask a question, he is starting to learn how to do laundry.

I realize that this may not relate to your daughter at all...sounds like she's younger? but we focus a lot on our kids lack of friends (and yes that is important- if it's important to them) but sometimes we forget that they also need to become independent and as I look at my son now at 15 I think OMG will he be able to live on his own? So the lack of friends is really always a distressing issue but sort of takes a back burner when you consider he could be living with us until he's 35 if we don't start educating him on "life".

As far as you - as your schedule permits, you need to take a break from all things spectrum related. You have to for your own sanity. Your daughter will survive. You have to do anything that will take your mind off of it - even for a little while. For me, I have few outlets and since I homeschool my son am with him all the time. Simply getting in the car and driving around (I don't even care that I'm wasting gas) and either turning up the radio really loud or having peace and quiet and just being alone helps. Also, another thing that really takes my mind off of things is to go into all of our local thrift stores and just wandering around....I have no idea why this helps me because I actually hate shopping. But it works . My son will drain the life right out of me on a daily basis and sometimes you have to set some boundaries and say it's OK to take care of myself. Go for a walk, have grandma watch your daughter and go sit at the library or whatever would make YOU happy. It's absolutely not being selfish to do it.

Thank you: that makes my day.

cjn and buyer beware,
Wise words
We are in the Pacific Northwest. If only I could get together once in a while with someone in like circumstances for support it'd make a difference in my life. thank you. i hope the OP is feeling better. This is redundant, but I've had so much failure and hurt from nt social functions that I avoid them if at all possible.