I feel out on a limb

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My son has recently been diagnosed with AS and I have someone from a childrens clinic coming to see me on 22nd March which feels like light years away. This morning (not for the first time) my son couldn't see the point of getting up, he wanted to know why is he different to other kids in his school, and yesterday he shouted out some random words in his maths class, and probably feels self concious about it. He says there is no point to anything and I have noticed if you mention anything that he would have jumped at twelve months ago he barely raises an eyebrow now.

How do I know if it mood swings or depression, I don't want a boy of 12 taking anti depressants do I?! Please I would welcome any advice

it sounds like depression....better get him to a doc asap!

Thank you, I have made an appointment for this afternoon.

I think so too. The red flag was the loss of interest in things he used to like.

I don't have any personal experience with antidepressants, but from what I hear, they work well for some kids. Check the other board - I think there are some young people with experience.

Good luck.

HI judy, welcomb to the limb. Believe me you have plenty of company. As I was reading your post my 10 yr old Aspy was shouting from the shower "Please, don't make me go to school today! I don't want to do the writing prompt." My reply was a simple you might as well do it today or your teacher will make you do it later when you might want to be doing somethimg else.

I have found that being forthright and honest is the best way of dealing with him. It has even gotten down to you have to go to school because it is the law.

Have you discussed his diagnosis with him? I know some people think that you should not but I disagree with them. My son knows his full diagnosis and that it is a reason for some of his behaviors but is not Allowed to use it as an excuse for poor behavior. He just has to work harder at acting appropriately.

He needs at this age to understand that he is a great person and that some people will like him and some won't . Those who like him will have a fantastic experience those who don't do so to their own loss.

Our son takes some "mood altering drugs " they have helped him. All meds need to be done on an individual basis. He is old enough to have some in put to his care. If the meds help, good. If not try another approach. Each day is a new experience with an Aspy, fun ,challenging and exhausting. It is also very rewarding. Good luck and keep in touch.

Judy,

I had written a lengthy response but have a feeling it was lost in cyberspace somewhere.

I am a mother of two boys with aspergers syndrome. I know the challenge you have faced with having your son diagnosed later in life. My oldest son was diagnosed at 16(is now 18) and my youngest at 6 and is now 9.

I am all for anit-depressants....remember it is about him and not you. I say that with all of the grace and understanding that I have. Find a child pyschiatrist that has experience with children in the spectrum and trust your instincts ok?

Support support support is the key as well. YOU need a shoulder, an ear and an outlet as well. Email me at [email protected] if you'd like....there is no such thing as too many friends....

mary

My brother always suspected that I had aspergers or something on the spectrum, but I didnt get tested until a efw months ago, when I was living in temp. foster care since my brother was in the hospital after an accident. My foster parents were the first ones to know that my diagnosis was official, but they never told me about it, and the next thing I knew I was going to psychiatrists, I was getting alphabet boards and flash cards, and special equipment to help me with things that I did need help with, and whenever I asked why they just shrugged and said I needed help. So for the longest time I thought nothing was wrong with me, and that I didn't have AS or anything, and that everyone was just wrong about it before.

Then my brother got out of the hospital and he came to see me and my foster parents went and talked to him, and he came back and told me that I had aspergers syndrome, and I was really shocked, because I was happy knowing that nothign was wrong with me, and that I cuold prove the kids wrong at school that made fun of me because they figured I had some sort of mental disorder. So never keep your child's diagnosis a secret from them, because if they find out after you've known for awhile, and he's already getting help for it, it all becomes really stressful when they don't know what it's for, and there's really no reason. If you had aspergers you wouldn't want your parents/guardian to keep it a secret.

If he isn't already, I would find an autism/aspergers specialist who can help out with your son. I've been seeing one for about a month now, and since I've been doing a lot better in school, and I actually want to go to school everyday now because I realy enjoy it, and I know that I can get my work done, and it's pretty cool when the teachers say they are proud of you.

It does sound like your son has depression, I went through the same thing quite a few times in the past year. One of the times was wen I was getting tested for aspergers and other things that are on the spectrum, and I knew that people thought something was wrong with me, but they wouldn't really sit me down and explain anything to me, so i thought that no one would like me because I was different, and since I was different that everything in the world would be different. You should see a doctor about it if you haven't already.

Good luck. :/

Thank you so much everyone, I have seen my Doctor who was very helpful but couldn't prescribe because my son is being treated by a child therapy centre and I have to get back in touch with them.

I have tried all different ways to tell my son about Aspergers but he gets really angry when I try to explain he tells me to get out of his room, or starts talking about hitting me I do just walk away and don't make a scene about it.

Last Friday I lay on the bed with him and talked a little bit, he was a bit more receptive, but still didn't seem to understand. I bought a book for adolescents with Aspergers called How to Be Yourself in a World That's Different by Yuko Yoshida and I picked out the simplest bits to read including the advantages. Its like he doesn't want to know. I feel as if I'm handling it all wrong.

He seems very oppositional at the moment even taking it out on his little Jack Russell dog, sometimes I think we should rehome the dog because he is horrible to it.

I would give him plenty of time and space in dealing with this diagnosis. I've been on boards with parents for years now as adults many many of them take a year or longer to accept it. I think a kid of 12 needs to find his own way with it too without being forced to talk about it, listen to parent explanation, etc. If he's on the internet at all he'll find the info if he needs it in his own time. Until then, he needs his space.

As the others have said, the depression is a different matter and one that shouldn't wait to be addressed. Meds can be very helpful for those individuals who respond well to them. Has this depression been coming on gradually or was there a sudden change after hearing the diagnosis?

Hi, I would say he has been on a downward spiral since Christmas 2006, he doesn't seem to want to go anywhere and from being a very talkative boy he has become quiet but I thought it was just part of growing up. I think what depresses him is when he goes to school he shouts out a lot (especially in maths lessons) and he worries about it happening, he just says random words.

Might he have tourettes?

I was wondering about Tourette's as well.

http://www.tourettesyndrome.net/index.htm

The paediatrician I saw said he didn't have tourettes (he has only visited the clinic twice) today I have seen a miracle happen, I told him that I didn't believe he had Aspergers but had somekind of vocal tic and an attention problem, he has been a different kid, only a bit of shouting out this afternoon and we have had some real conversations today, I followed my gut instinct and noticed I had a frightened little boy. I think he has got some form of tourettes. I don't think the paediatrician will be too pleased when we go to the clinic next week when I tell him I don't agree with his diagnosis, or maybe I'm just in denial, well I'll eventually find out won't I.

WRONG WRONG WRONG!! !! !! !!

PUT DIVERSITY INTO HIS LIFE!! !! !

Depression is just the mind, telling it that it is thinking too much --- time to get out of the routine and DO SOMETHING --drugs are not the answer....

Time to go camping, or fishing, or for a stroll in the big city - whatever - get out of the routine!! !. ...a good thing would be to do it on the weekend - giving him something to look forward too!

----People have forgotten what it is to be alive.... and a re breeding deceased children, becaue they are so caught up in the machine , that is western society.... Us Aussies have thankfully not forgotten. --Yet.


THEY say after a funeral the best thing to do is to go back to work, or go on a holiday ---this is the cure to depression,,, emmersing yourself in tasks and reliveing yourself of duties.

Erlyrisa~ cut it out !
judy 2302~ be careful about "dxing your kid"...docs don't like that, and will often be quite offended that you've even mentioned a possible alternate dx..........from my own experience, it's better to state the behaviors you notice that fit with a particular dx in the form of a question: ie; i've noticed that my son has frequent outbursts of unprovoked foul language....why do you think that is ?...or ...how does that fit in with an aspergers dx?.....
mentioning specific behaviors that you don't feel fit in with the aspergers dx could help you arrive at the correct dx

While I think it's important to use good sense when challenging a diagnosis, I also believe it's important that parents have professionals involved with their child who are willing to discuss issues like this and take input from parents. If the doctor refuses to listen, then it's not the doctor for you.

If you are suspecting Tourette's, it's a neurologist that should be involved in the assessment. There are a great many overlapping symptoms with AS so don't disgard that possibility and the help you can get from that area even if TS winds up to be the final answer.