DS has been moved to his own desk by himself at school...

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I haven't posted in this part of wrongplanet before. I myself have Asperger's, and my 7yo DS has been diagnosed with ADHD-PI, though sometimes I wonder if he may have some aspie traits too. Not sure. It is mild, I believe though.

However, I was just wondering if anyone else has experiences like this with their kids at school.

DS has always had problems getting his work done on time. Apart from his difficulties with his handwriting, he struggles to talk and do work at the same time. His teacher has said that other kids talk to each other too, but they can also do their work at the same time. So, my Son would get moved to a desk on his own from time to time so that he didn't get distracted by chatting, and could do his work.

Now, however, DS tells me he permanently sits on a desk on his own.

The difficulty with multitasking stuff sounds like AS to me, not ADD, though who knows.... My psychiatrist says I shouldn't just go by one opinion and should get a second, in case it could be mild AS. She is one who does not believe that someone can have both ADHD and AS.

Anyway, has anyone else had this kind of experience?

And is this a good thing, for him to sit on his own to get his work done? I think it is good for him to do his work, since that is what school is for, and he does get to interact and socialise during recess and lunch which is good. But I still feel a bit funny about it all!

Thanks

I hadn't heard of "not being able to talk and work at the same time" as an Aspie trait before. I've never observed it in my son. If that happened to me, I'd be suspicious of the teacher trying to isolate the child to make their job easier.

Having been on all three sides of this kind of situation (child/parent/teacher) I feel your discomfort. As a child, I was set aside on occasion because I couldn't behave appropriately (lady-like) and looking back, a normal kid might have been bothered by the exclusion but I loved it. I could get the work done without distraction and have fewer overloaded situations (fewer meltdowns.) I've always been an excellent student but figured out I had issues with focus early on. Recess, lunch, PE and after school sports gave me more than enough social time.

How does your son feel about being set apart from the rest of the class?

Really try not to give him the idea that he should feel insulted in some way. It sounds like his teacher is finding ways to help him get through it all.

You also need to consider the other kids in the class. Is your son distracting to them?

Yes, it is a strange one... I am in two minds!

For me, having AS with difficulties with executive functioning, I do find it hard to do two things at once.

Apparently, we have weaker long range connections in our brain and stronger local connections, which means we can get very deeply involved in one area at a time, and have difficulties integrating multiple sources of information compared with NTs. We also have difficulties shifting from one area to another in a timely fashion due to this.

Of course, everyone on the spectrum has their own array of strengths and difficulties, so perhaps this is not an area that your Son has difficulty with.

Here's what I'd be asking: How much work is the kid getting done sitting on his own vs. sitting with others? If he's getting more done on his own, I'd say go for it! If not, the teacher will have to try something else.

Thank you for your insight!

I did ask him and he said he is fine about it. He is a very easy going kid - always wanting to be happy. And yes, I think his teacher does have his best interests at heart, as he wants him to get his work done (I do want this, too, especially at this age where all the foundations are being set).
My Son IS quite the motor mouth too, so possibly he is distracting others around him. His teacher says that others are still able to get their work done, though.
He is very easily distracted, my Son, and struggles to stay focussed. Though he can also hyperfocus on stuff he is interested in.

Thank you, yes I will see how it goes. He said he is getting more done I think (hard to get answers out of him - he forgets stuff so easily! :( ).

Thanks for the encouragement :)

The lecture by Russell Barkley that I posted about has a whole section on things for the teacher to do:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCAGc-rkIfo

Starting about 1:27:50 there are specific and detailed recommendations for how to accomodate executive function issues in school

Every once in awhile I read something fascinating here on WP and this is one of those times. What sort of work are we talking about? I can't imagine talking to other kids and trying to do schoolwork at the same time. This was never an issue when I went to school (mostly the 1960's) because talking in class was forbidden.

I can do work like mowing the lawn or driving and talking at the same time, but not a math problem or writing and talking at the same time. Are you saying that most people can do the latter? I also have no idea if this is an aspie issue or not.

My daughter really struggles with this more than other kids, however I'm not surprised at all. I'm actually more surprised by the fact that the other kids don't struggle. Maybe they do, but no-one has realised this noise issue is a problem for everyone, not just the 2 spectrum kids. According to my daughter, children speak to one another across the classroom, i.e. they shout, and this does not appear to be stopped by the teacher. My daughter doesn't actually need complete silence, but the noise levels are unacceptable, in her opinion and mine.

When I went to school (in the 70s and 80s), children were expected to not talk, when they were working on a problem. This was unless we were being asked to work in a group and bounce ideas off of one another (which was quite rare). I don't think I could concentrate in my daughter's class, but I do have concentration difficulties too, so I'm not sure how it is for other people. I never really struggled with concentrating at school, despite my difficultes, but the environment was ideal for my needs.

My daughter has a desk, outside the classroom, which she can go to if she's feeling overwhelmed. But, at the moment, this seems to be on the say-so of the teacher. So, if the teacher doesn't agree that the noise level is high, she doesn't get to go. But, my daughter isn't only distracted by noise, anyway. It can be movement or something stationary just catching her eye. I believe the head teacher is looking into getting her a sort of cubicle, which might help matters.

But, next year, she's supposed to be moving into an open plan area, which is a large room, inhabited by about 300 kids, classes separeated by filing cabinets, etc. Therefore, I've decided that she'll be moving to another school instead, which is due to be built by then.

Well, i'd think if it's done in a positive way that would be great. As long as he's not being criticised or negatively singled out. Obviously, the other kids would know he's at a desk by himself and hopefully they all (the other kids and your DS) know it's because he works better without extra distraction, not thinking that it's a lack of control or a punishment. I would also want my child to be able to sit with classmates for things like art/craft where a little chatter is ok. If he is getting more work done and better quality, and all of the above is true, then I'd want that for my son. In fact, now I do want that for my NT 7yo son, I know he'd get even more done without extra distraction... and he's a pretty focussed kid!

We had this happen last year, and I think it was a good thing for our son. I do think the teacher thought of it as a punishment, but our son looked at it as a reward, so it all worked out. He was distracted by the other children and he distracted them, so it was beneficial to everyone.

The only thing that annoyed me was that the teacher looked at it like sitting with the others was something he should have been striving to "earn back." She didn't get that he liked it and thought it was a reward.

He is probably disappointed that he does not get to sit by himself, this year,

As long as your son does not feel left out and it is improving his focus, I would not worry too much. If your child is really distracted with chatting and not working' that stands out too, though not as obviously. It takes a while for spectrum kids to figure out when to talk and when not to. It takes them more effort, to communicate so it is hard to multitask it. Even when they are brain dumping information, they are so focused on what they are saying, it is hard to do anything else.

I had my own desk around 50% of my school time and did that by my own will. Whenever there was a chance to get my own desk, i grabbed for it. That way it was easier for me to focus on the exercises.

In my opinion school exercises are for learning and at the end have a chance to get a good job. For me its very hard to understand, why so much parents want their kids do waste their exercise time with socialicing etc... There are enough breaks and other opportunities for that during the school day. When its math time you should care about math and not about chitchat.

For tests etc.. i also used earplugs, which helped me a lot on focusing. I really like my classmates and i liked to play card games during the breaks and the lunch break, but still i prefered my own desk. I would see it that way: The less energy you need during the lessons to follow the exercises, the more energy and fun you have for socialising during the breaks.

When i am completely down and stressed, only by following the lessons, because of all the disturbances, then all i want to do in the break is getting away from everyone to chill down.

Thank you so much for all your responses everyone!

You have made me feel a LOT better about the situation!! ! My Son feels ok about it too, so now we both do

I really appreciate your time in replying, thank you