Repetitve questions

Post Reply New Topic

and I have a dead daughter and WISH I had your problem. I would trade you in the blink of an eye. I would take your pre verbal autistic living child over a dead one, I really would!

Sorry to be so harsh, but we all have issues that are REAL to us, we only live with our kids and come here for help and to vent or get ideas on how to better everyones lives.

One thing that I always think of is that there are people in worse situations then I have, and it does help a BIT, but it doenst change the reality of the child I am living with or help me figure out how to better his life.

Eh ?

I meant no disrespect to the OP, nor did I try to minimize / trivialize her situation. I did say I did not think she was having a joyous time because I do think it would be difficult that she has to deal with the constant chattering all day long. Which is why I asked for her to wish it on me.

Before I respond, I always attempt to put myself in the OP's position - for once, this time, rather than address her question, all that struck me was how LOVELY it would be for ME to be in that situation, instead of having to worry about if / when my child would ever speak and I got carried away by that thought / emotion.

There was no reason for you to attack me like you did.

It wasnt an attack on you, unfortunately your message came across to me, that our kids speak so we shouldnt complain, or we dont realize how good we have it, I have heard that before, and the way I took your post was just that.

Even though my kid speaks, he is still a MAJOR HUGE handful, and to feel as someone minimizes that really stinks!

I apologize if my reply was harsh, but I do read a lot of posts and think to myself I would trade with your issues in regards to my daughter who died. It is just the way it it. I do hope that your son speaks soon. While my son was never non verbal, he was delayed and due to severe artic issues due to his cleft lip and palate, his communication was limitd for many years. He was actually much easier before he started to speak more and more clear. My son can wear down the patience of a saint, and it kills me that his issues can be minimized by others.

Again, I am sorry it wasnt meant as an attack, just a reality check that there are always issues worse off then yours, and maybe someone would love to have your issues. And in my case, I would. And your mesage struck emotion with me and I got carried away with mine too, so I hope you can understand.

Thankyou... That is what we are going through at the min.. because my son is intelligent and charming also we have always known there is something unique too and other family members can also see it,, so we will not give up until we get the diagnosis. Thanks for your replies

With us I think the repetitive questions seem to also be a form of echolalia. Sometimes he repeats questions because I have not followed the scripting he has in mind, and he wants to try again. Sometimes it is because his brain is attempting to rile himself up more about something he is already upset about. Sometimes he does it to try to get a more dramatic display of empathy from me.

Usually when this happens the questions start out with "What if..." and then have some implausible question attached.

So, I do think the questions serve a purpose, even the ones that are silly. I think their brains want to see if the answers are consistent, if it reinforces what they already think etc. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, and it is because kids like to ask a lot of questions. I actually do find it to be really interesting.

I think for my son there is an OCD quality to his questioning, casue of the anxiety it accompanies. His questioning has lead to him having meltdowns due to the answers not being what he wanted them to be (one famous meltdown was over why the restaurant door was on that side of the building). I can also see a perseverative nature behind the questioning. SOmetimes I will start a request and say, "I am going to ask you o do something and you cannot ask me a question about it until you have done what I ask". As his ABA also thinks its a control issue or a stalling tactic. Sometimes that works real well for him. I have found, oddly enough, my son responds better to when I give commands or rules with things. In the car we have a 2 question maximum, otherwise he will question the entire car ride, and I do need to concentrate on the road.

Just some things that have helped a bit. My son is 7 and still does this frequently. "How come?" "Why?" are his 2 default responses to antyhing we speak to him. Even if its blatant how come or why. It is like he needs to hear it from us. He NEEDS to!

OP, if your son shows obsessive-compulsive symptoms, these reassurance questions may be one such symptom. I've had OCD since age 3, and one of the first ways it manifested was by me "tattling on myself" (my mother's term). I would (and still do about lots of things) have to compulsively confess everything I did that I thought was "bad." "Mommy, I touched my shoe!" "Mommy, I said a bad word!" Similar things to what you described. I'm sure most kids go through this as a phase, but if there are other OCD signs, and since you said not getting an answer causes him tremendous distress, you might want to bring this up.

I did the same and mom getting mad at me about it by raising her voice was the temporary cure. I hated getting yelled at. Also her telling me "We have already talked about it, I will not talk about it again" and she would also tell me "You already know about it" and she be firm with me. It worked.

I would just ignore the meltdowns. Be strong.

My DS9 does this when he is very anxious/stressed (usually just before he has to go into the classroom) and it definitely has an OCD quality about it, he needs the reassurance he is going to be ok (his repeated questions generally have to do with his health). When he is not under a lot of stress, he does not do the repeated questioning thing. This behavior was non-existent over the summer, started up when school started, but has been absent for over a month and 1/2. Then he missed over a week of school (sick), and when he went back to school yesterday, the repeated questions started again, but it was mild. Today, however, he was able to get to school without the questions.

Thank you for your replies.
He does and always has showed other signs of OCD so this really makes sense to me now. I appreciate your input and I'm going to bring this up to the professionals.

Thanks again

This is our problem at the moment too, DD5 is adorable to adults and I love that about her. She is also clever and is really thriving at her new school. This makes it difficult to get the triad of behaviours. She is very good at hiding it so when a doctor sees her for just half an hour she can easily hide it :/

My daughter went through a phase of asking "what would you say if it started raining x?" - cows and cats were popular but it could be anything. It got to the point where she would ask whole strings of this question several times a day until myself and my husband decided it was getting silly and set a limit of six questions to each of us a day. This seemed to work for us, she actually soon started asking fewer than six. She still asks them occasionally, but not to anywhere near the same extent

My son (almost 6) does the same thing - I put his down to extreme anxiety and when he asks the same question continuously, he is actually after reassurance.
I now know that I need to answer the question (over and over) but emphasis that it will be okay - so when he asks about dribbling, I would say - if you dribble then it will run onto your clothes and maybe mark them, but it's okay - we will wash them and they will be fine, nothing bad will happen.
Obviously, it will be a little trickier if it is something that is dangerous - i.e. walking into the road without checking for cars - we are working on that at the moment.