Advice/opinions please.

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Anytime we can help let us know. I'm sure I'll have many questions as Z passes through puberty. Get ready with answers all of you.

Hey Pippen great advice on the behavioral journal i did that with my son before he was diagnosed with aspergers and i brought it with me to the doctor as well as a letter from his school and just told him what i thought and she gave him his diagnosis. It is a good idea to keep the journal because sometimes we forget to mention some things.

just a quick note re. labels – I found it really helpful to get a label as it came with all the help for the areas where my boy was struggling. And it made it easier for him to understand what he has and can educate himself about it – he is reading Kenneth Hall’s book “Asperger Syndrome, the Universe and Everything” just now, written by another AS 10 year old.
He can also explain himself to other people – recently we had to go to A&E and when asked if he has any medical conditions or taking medications, he said “No, but I have Aspergers and so I sometimes talk too long and it may seem irrelevant to you but I always get to the point eventually”.
Needless to say, we waited for some hours and he told a lovely nurse who waited with us more about Star Wars that she would ever want to know. Am sure he was shown more indulgence because he told them of his condition and was able to ‘label’ himself.

I think in the US, Jazz would be diagnosed with PDD-NOS. Both of my children were diagnosed at a university center for developmental disabilities using a multi-discplinary approach consisting of a child psychiatrist, psychologist, speech therapist and neurologist. It included many tests and took an entire day. A child on the autistic spectrum typically has a variance in their performance and verbal IQs and is considered a neurological soft sign of brain dysfunction. I assume there was no IQ test?

If I were you, I would bypass the system (which appears to be geared toward cost containment) and pay for a real evaluation. Researchers in the UK were the ones who brought AS to the attention of the world. I would suggest trying to contact Dr. Uta Frith or Dr. Simon Baron-Cohen who know more about autism and AS than a simple social worker (whatever). It doesn't take many IQ points to get an advanced degree in social work. I shared many college classes with them (being an anthropology major) and frankly wasn't impressed with their capacity for reasoning.

As an aspie, I'm compelled to say that I think nationalized medical care sucks.

Reading your account was really interesting. I have a son who has been diagnosed, and an older son and husband who definitely have some traits but have never been diagnosed. Reading your account was like the three people in my life all mixed together.

My youngest has terrible problems fitting in with people and Maths seems to be a real problem to him, but I can take him visiting and we could have people round without a problem. My eldest is a brilliant mathematician, good at sport and very capable, he was predicted all A grade GCSE's but only gained 4, the stress of it all was too much for him, and he dreads any special occasion which may mean a gathering of people.

He is hyperactive and has never spent an evening in the house unless bedridden with flu! When stressed he has a vocal tic and dreads any changes. His sporting ability has helped him such a lot, it has made it easier to mix with people and he has definitely improved over the last 12 months, though we are worried about his transistion from college to work.

I have left my husband on three occasions (filing for divorce twice) because I couldn't cope with his never wanting to socialise, he is only happy with me and a television to watch, he talks to me alot but never listens, he dislikes so many people, now I realise its because of the black and white thing. If someone says something that can be taken personal (even though there is no intent), he takes great offence and we can't meet up with that person again.

I wish my youngest could understand how grateful I am to him that he has a diagnosis, because now I understand why my husband is like he is. But my son doesn't want to talk about it and just resents the fact that he is different from his school friends.

Judy, some people are naturally introverts and don't like to socialize. That is just their personalities. I (having AS) am actually more social than my husband who does not have AS. Introverted men are particularly social avoidant. Extraverts get energy from being with other people and introverts are just worn out by it. Because I naturally don't understand people, I have found the Myers-Briggs personality types very helpful in my relationships. There's lots of information online about it and even online tests for free. Not to say that there is not AS in your family, or perhaps AS traits. Remember it is a spectrum going from severely autistic (as in out of touch with the real world) to normal. One can even argue that ADD is on that spectrum. I was diagnosed with ADD before AS.

I think it is important to remember that there is nothing inherently wrong with not wanting to socialize if you are naturally introverted. It is not any type of disorder in and of itself.

I can understand what you are saying but that is not my only reason for thinking my husband has AS, he doesn't make eye contact when talking he finds it very hard to look at you, and as I said he takes things in a very black and white way, so that someone can say something in all innocence and he will be greatly offended, but has the control to only let me know how offended he is and he will avoid that person in the future. He doesn't listen and finds it hard to take in what you are saying sometimes.

Yes, lack of eye-contact is very telling, more so than lack of social contact. What was his childhood like?

Yes, he had quite a turbulent childhood, his Mum had all kinds of problems and had electric shock treatment he was only young when he remembers his mum being taken off in an ambulance he thinks she may have had a breakdown.

I never knew his Dad, he died before I met my husband, but my husband always refers to him as the quiet one, while his mum was always 'exploding'.

She ended her days hardly ever going over the door step. My husband has recently been seeing a psychotherapist because he has had depression (which we put down to his diabetes) and he said he realised as he was talking to the psychotherapist how much his lifestyle sounded just like his mums.

I am equally new to all of this and am struggling to get the apporpriate diagnosis for my daughter. She IS EVERYTHING ASPERGERS IS, as far as I can see, but still we have heard it all....everything from bad parenting, to anxiety, ocd, bad behaviour, manipulative, bad mannered, rude, selfish, tempermental, spirited, dumb, picky, clumsy, anti-social, etc child...

What an awful thing, considering all we really want is to be able to support my girl and help her learn ways to cope in this world...so we just keep plugging away. The school has finally acknowledged some major issues, so of course now we have them on board, but they don't see Aspergers, either...

Anyhow, I wish you all the best. If I can think of anything that has worked or does in the future, I will be sure to post...but we are in Canada and everything is so different all over the world.

Here is a link I found helpful....

Australian Scale for AS Taken from Tony Attwood, PHD Book

Shock therapy scares the hell out of me. That's truly dreadful, Judy. I have junvenile-onset diabetes and have lived with it for 28 years. I have no desire to talk to anyone abou it. It's a big pain in the arse and I probably have an abnormal relationship with food now. I eat a limited number of carbs and have good glucose control. My biggest problem is not losing too much weight and becomming a rangy old woman, LOL. I follow Dr. Bernstein's program:

http://www.diabetes-normalsugars.com/

He's had diabetes for 40 something years and is very healthy.

Having high blood sugar can make you irrational, but I don't know about depressed. The issues with AS impact my life much more. I don't feel that my pancreas has limited my life in any way. I intellectualize it, I suppose.

If he has the therapist's ear so to speak, perhaps he can get a proper DX? Now you know there is a group here for him if he wants to talk about it.