Kids say the darndest things

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Our son one morning when he was 4 he got up he had to go pee but on his way to the bathroom he asked me mom why every morning when I get up its soooo big ? He is 15 now and still makes me lmao every day .

Me: You're such a smart cookie!
DS4: [Angry] I AM NOT A COOKIE!! !! !

My 7 yr old son is really into the Japanese language and some of the folk tales. During his bath, when I was pouring water on his head to clean off the shampoo, he touched his hair (it looked straight and darker because it was wet and the front looked kind of like those manga triangle hair things (I do not know what that is called), and he said, "I think I am turning into a Japanese boy."

I am not a parent yet, but work with a group of kids occasionally that has autism when they visit my library.

At the end of one of my programs with them, I told them I enjoyed seeing them. I said 'Say hi to me if you see me here in the library or elsewhere in the community, like in the grocery store or something.' One boy came up to me and said, 'I had so much fun, I will look up and down every aisle at the store for you!' To which I clarified that, if by chance he should just 'happen' to see me anywhere, say hi.

I have an ASD. When I was five, I told my kindergarten teacher, 'I washed my hair, and blew it dry. But I didn't blow my thoughts away.'

When I was six, one of my fellow classmates told me that I would grow up to be a girl (I was disappointed) and that I would have boobs. I promptly went home and told my mom, 'You've got some great boobs!' She was surprised and said 'Tina, you call them 'breasts', not 'boobs'."


At the age of thirteen, I was doing a project on the Roosevelts. My book said that FDR invited his former secretary for private dinner parties. I could not understand why Eleanor was so upset. I thought, 'clearly the man was lonely and needed some companionship at mealtimes! I mean, they are only eating!"

For the longest time, I thought that cosmetics were called 'Blushon' After all, my mom always said, 'let me just get my blush on!'

My son, who's 11, had sex education at school earlier this year.

So, tonight we're in the car and I mentioned that I'd just found out that someone I know has Crohn's disease, so a bit of conversation about human digestive system. My son told me that until his sex ed. he thought that the bit that's under his penis was his bladder - logical mistake to make, but anyway, then he says,

"The last letter in scrotum is "M", the second last letter in testicles is "E" and the third last letter in penis is "N", which spells MEN!"

I thought, but didn't say, "don't let anyone tell you you're not autistic, son!"

Marcia,

That was really funny. And sounds a lot like something along the lines of what I might have said.

That was priceless.

Tina

My aspie daughter, 13 yrs old, ate the last rice crispie treat while her younger brother , 11 yrs old, was at school. She was feeling guilty about it and worried he would be mad. To describe her guilt she said "It [i]burns my soul!!

My PDD-NOS son (almost 5yo) noticed the moon in the sky while we were driving at night on the highway. "Look! The moon is following me everywhere! The moon is running!"

So cute!

My son started doing that around that age too! It was horrible, everyone would stare like I was kidnapping him! He would also shout "ow!" a lot, and people would give me dirty looks liked I'd just pinched him (which I never did). He's almost five now and he still does these things to an extent, although I can reason with him somewhat better now.


He normally finds playing make believe distressing, but this morning he did this:

Son: Mom! Dad! Hurry! There's a REAL bug in the living room!

Me: Where?

Son points at nano hexbug (toy) on floor, says: It's a REAL bug. See, it's REAL...

Me (trying not to laugh because he looks like he'd be making air quotes for the word "real" if he knew how): Wow! A real bug!

Husband: Eek! A real bug, I better get the bug catching jar. Eek!

Son (suddenly concerned): Wait, Daddy, it's not a real bug. I'm just doing make believe.

Husband: I know, but I'm playing pretend with you.

Son: I'll smash it and then it won't be scary.

Husband: Wait, no, don't smash it.

It was saved from destruction just in time. It was so adorable that he wanted to try playing make believe for us, and he didn't get too upset this time.

Ha ha! My son would say creepy stuff like that. One time we were driving past a forest and he said "the trees are not burning now," in this flat voice, like he was imagining when they would be burning...



My son's speech patterns are similar to this. Yesterday my mom was trying to get him to eat something, and he said:

Son (with false enthusiasm): I know, I have a great idea! Let's put the clear lid that's plastic and stretches on the top, and then we can wrap it around the bottom of the container and put it back in the fridge. That's a great idea! Yay! You would be so good if you did that.



Yes! My son does this too and it's so hard to take him seriously, lol. He's fights though, even though I just lightly rub a wet wash cloth over his head since it's all he tolerates (sort of). He uses this phrasing:

"Shampoo is NOT RIGHT FOR ME! Shampooing my hair is BAD FOR MY DEVELOPMENT! Kids don't like do be washed! You WOULD BE VERY RESPONSIBLE, Mom, if you did not wash my hair! This is NOT THE GREATEST PLAN! You should not do this to kids! You are BOTHERING ME and OVERWHELMING MY SENSORY INPUT! I can't like this! This is NOT THE RIGHT TIME FOR THIS ACTIVITY!"


This whole list is great! It's nice to read quotes from other kids that actually talk like my son

The other day I walked into a Victoria's Secret shop with my son, and he was staring at the mannequins. Eventually he said loud enough for everyone in the store to hear, "I don't like girly underwear. Why doesn't it cover up the whole butt?" Everyone in the store burst out laughing.

Another time, shortly after a dental hygiene visit at his school, I had bought myself a Dove chocolate bar and was in the process about to eat a piece when my son panicked and said, "No Mommy! Don't eat that candy it has sugar bugs that will eat all your teeth off!!"

We've been working with the Sprout (4 3/4) on rhyming words. He's been having a hard time with it. Today he yelled from another room, "Hey mom, pot/hot! That rhymes, doesn't it?"

I said yes, so he yells again with let/set, and I told him yes again.

Then he said, "Oh, that's good! I'm finally starting to get the hang of this. I didn't think I'd ever get it!" (still yelling at the top of his lungs from another room)

For the ease of communication I will be referring to my sons' by their nicknames from this point on. My 3 year old is called "Brains" (because he barely moved as an infant, and just kind of observed everyone), and my almost-five year old with possible ASD is called "Powerman" (because he's like an unstoppable motor or force).

Today, as we were leaving my sons' preschool, two of Powerman's classmates were playing in the grass. Both my sons became very, very excited, and started to run toward the other children.

I was shocked. He was actually not only willing, but excited, about interacting with other children??? Maybe his possible ASD was all in my head like my parents assure me it is, or maybe the school really was having a therapeutic effect like everyone says it does...

But then, while Brains continued to run toward the kids, my older son stopped. He threw out his arms in the big, dramatic gesture, and yelled:

"Wow! The sidewalk is amazing! The squares go on a really long way! How are they sparkling?" and proceeds to spend the next five minutes examining the concrete all by himself; while the other kids played.

The thing is, concrete is quite lovely in the sunlight. Most people just don't stop to admire it.

Since the Boston bombings have been on the news a lot with police cars and etc., I've been fielding a lot of questions from DS4 about police and good guys and bad guys. We went over a speed bump this morning and he asked me if the speed bump was a good guy or a bad guy.

This morning my almost 5-yo son said that he is "going to get married, then have babies, and then get a job because then I'll be a papa!" I thought it was very cute but had to correct him and tell him he should get a job BEFORE he makes any babies LOL

My 4YO has been learning about opposites at preschool. He told me the other day that the opposite of "real" is "toy" .