Welcome to wrong planet.
As a parent of two spectromic boys(neither diagnosed), and diagnosed Aspergers myself, I get the whole stress you are under.
I sometimes feel so inadequate to give my kids the life I want them to have, and the outside experiences they want ( mostly in noisy chaotic environments!)
It's just take it a day at a time, and ask for help when you can't manage. My husband is much more supportive now I have a diagnosis.
But I am constantly overwhelmed by it all.
Don't let the judgement of others pull you down. We are here, and we totally understand. We are holding you up and supporting you to withstand their comments.
All the best
_________________
Shine on you crazy diamond! - Pink Floyd