Tips for dealing with exhaustion

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I think we all get here sometimes:

It's when you suddenly feel absolutely overwhelmed by everything spectrum, everything parenting, and everything...well...life.

I am freaking. exhausted.

I literally would like to crawl into my bed and not come out for a week. I don't want to take care of myself, my kids, my pets, my house, my yard, my job, or anything else. I don't think it is depression. I've been depressed before and this doesn't feel like that. Just kind of a funk, maybe. And literal exhaustion. And I am overwhelmed by the feeling that there is no end.

I have felt this way before and I know it goes away in time, but do any of you have tips to help get you through periods like this?

This may not help but..I go punch on a bag for 30min..some minor physical activity seems to help me every day during my 84 hr work week.

I know that what you say is true, but the thought of exercising actually makes me feel like crying! LOL!

I've never done this, but when a friend of mine got overwhelmed like that her husband booked one night in a hotel for her to get away while he took care of the kids. She said the break worked wonders.

I'm a single mom, so while it sounds lovely to have a husband to do that for you, that isn't going to happen here!

I thought about sending the kids to their dads' this weekend, but they both have play dates set up (here), and my daughter is really looking forward to spending the weekend with me.

I think I need to just put my big girl panties on and deal with it.

Although then I think "deal with what, exactly?"

And the answer is "life" and then I feel even more exhausted.

It's not as bad as it probably sounds. I just wish there was something I could do other than wait for the feeling to pass, ykwim?

I have no easy answer. Can you sleep a little longer than usual? Leave some stuff for tomorrow and get some extra rest?

Can you extend those play dates at all?

Other things that help sometimes:
Multivitamins (double dose) this seems to help repair fatigue.
A good escapist book. CJ Cherryh usually works for me or Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norell--ymmv.
A Richard Feynman lecture or something on stellar evolution or molecular biology can also help, as long as it's something I can lose myself in.
A walk in the fields/woods/on the beach where there are few or no people.
Any kind of quiet walk
Painting or drawing or making something with my hands.

Hold on to hope. This too shall pass.

I hear ya. If it helps at all, you are not alone.

To some degree I give in to the feeling as much as possible. Like when I am feeling really overwhelmed and I can't handle it I order pizza for dinner, I don't do the dishes, I let the kids watch too much TV or play too many video games and just don't do anything that I don't absolutely HAVE to do. If they don't do their homework on their own, it doesn't get done. I don't ask them to take a bath or a shower - who cares if they are a little more smelly than usual once in a while. I let youngest come to bed with me so I don't have to go through the routine of staying with him in his room until he falls asleep. If it isn't on fire or bleeding I just don't respond to it. For one night anyway or if it happens to hit me on a weekend I might spend the better part of a day doing nothing but playing Sudoku on my Nook.

While your kids may be looking forward to their play dates and you would feel guilty canceling it to send them to their dads, ask yourself if you would feel guilty sending them if you had come down with a very contagious and very debilitating short term virus. If you were physically sick to the point where you couldn't take care of them, you would send them because it would be what is best for them. Don't ever write your own mental and emotional health off as unimportant or less important than your physical health. You have to be able to take a break or you will end up not being able to do anything at all for them.

A kids disappointment will pass with time, but without some rest and time to recharge you will just feel worse. It's better to send them off for a weekend now and use that time to rest and do absolutely nothing than to wait longer and have to send them for a week or so while you are in the hospital suffering from exhaustion or even depression which can be caused or exacerbated by unrelenting stress.

Your health is more important than a play date or a small disappointment.

Frances, I do know you are right. I know it. But I'm not gonna do it.

My daughter's play date is a big deal. This is the first time she has been able to work up the courage to ask our neighbor girls to come over. We have lived here more than a year and there are numerous girls her age on our block, but she is just too tentative and shy to ask anyone to come over. She finally did it on Monday. So, I'm gonna stick it out.

Bombaloo, I have been kind of doing what you said for the past couple of days. It's helping a little, I guess.

Perhaps some escapism into a good book is in order. I have only been reading books for work or about executive dsyfunction lately. And while they are interesting, they certainly don't help me escape! LOL!

I would suggest maybe planning something fun or relaxing that you could look forward to after the play date weekend. Sometimes, I find that if I have something to look forward to it helps me push through even when I am really tired.

#1, My number one "cause" for making me feel overwhelmed is lack of sleep. My suggestion is, don't waste sleep time on unnecessary things like watching a movie or surfing the net. Not sure if you do this but it makes me crazy when I only sleep for 3 to 4 hours and then I feel like I can't handle anything so try to get 6-7 hours of sleep a night.

#2, try a multivitamin, a B-complex that isn't too strong because the ones that have 1000 x the daily requirement could make you sick, give you a stomach ache, heart palpitations. Just try a B-complex that have close to 100% of the daily requirement

#3, try not to burn out. I know that if I do laundry, groceries and clean the house in one day, by the end of the day, I'm hating everyone! Try spacing things out and like someone else suggested, if you are doing laundry or cleaning, order a pizza and relax when you are done.

#4, Oh and my favorite is, I HATE cooking, so I always cook enough for 2 days. That way, I only have to cook a few times a week, if I order in once a week, I try to order in from some place that sells a Whole chicken that way, we have enough for 2 days and it's healthy.

I escape into my music. The louder, the better. I'll be deaf by 60, I'm sure, but it helps with my sanity. My son is 12 now so we've started leaving the house if he becomes unbearable - there's a pub nearby our house (20 min walk) and it's been great! My son HATES being home alone. Not because he's afraid but because he likes being surrounded by people (social guy in his own right). I always make it a point to say something like, "I would love to stay home with you right now - but until you create a safe environment, I will just wait." Works really well! .. plus the 40 min walk (total) and the beer helps me!!

I crawl into bed for days whenever I have the opportunity. I have the 'advantage' of getting debilitating migraines when I don't take care of myself appropriately, so if I don't do it, it will be forced on me by my own body.

You sound like you need backup. There are respite care agencies for just this purpose - find out if you qualify. If not, find another Mom you can pay (or trade) to take your kids on occasion. Get their Dad to help you.

This might be an unavoidable part of raising kids, especially if you also work or are raising them alone. I felt like this for about 20 years straight while my kids were growing up. But yaaay, after you are eventually on your own again the freedom feels SO good!