What was your child like as an infant?

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Thanks for the suggestions, zette! I did indeed look it up, and it seems like something worth doing even if there's nothing wrong with DD -- trying to engage with her can only be a good thing .

You're totally right. And actually, today we hung out with some friends of ours at their house, and she'd turn and look at them every_single_time they called her name. She'd even do when she was crawling away! So yes, she's definitely just ignoring me (and my husband, and our nanny, and everyone she's used to.)

I'm obviously relieved that she at least definitely knows her name, although I still think it's bizarre that she's so uninterested in interacting with me. Hopefully it's just a phase -- what do you guys think?

It definitely wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if she gets a DX, although of course I'd hate it if I couldn't connect with her or if she'd have trouble living independently as an adult. Those are the two things I really worry about, I guess. But also, to be honest, I can't stand the not knowing -- as I said, I'm half an Aspie myself, and I like to feel prepared for things... And the fact that I won't know for sure for years and years freaks me out.

Congratulations on the new addition!!

She's had issues from the day she was born, although we had no idea what the cause was. As I said, she screamed when she had her nappy or clothes changed and always wanted to be held and suckled, all things that can now be put down to sensory issues, but were just draining and confusing, for me, at the time. When she started to talk more, she became very demanding for specific cutlery, cups, etc (always blue). When she started to walk, we started to see other problems, especially when we were out and about. She refused to sit in her buggy or take hands or wear any sort of restraint. She wouldn't walk alongside us either, despite our protests, so we were constantly trying to catch her and, when we did, she'd fight with us. She would scream and fight, if we tried to make her do anything she didn't want to. So, we had major safety issues and getting from A to B was not easy. Getting dressed has never been easy either. When she was still being dressed by us, she'd fight every step of the way and remove anything that she'd been protesting about, that we'd somehow managed to get on her. At that stage, we'd no idea why she didn't want to be dressed, as it seemed like every item of clothing was causing trauma. We know now what upsets her, but it wasn't so simple when she was younger and less able to explain her discomfort.

But, she was almost 5yrs before she was seen to be behaving 'autistic'. She's always been friendly and chatty and there were no visible social problems before that age. She was diagnosed with Aspergers last year, at 6 1/2.

My son is being evaluated for ASD, but not yet diagnosed with that yet (he's been diagnosed with severe ADHD, SPD, Anxiety, and OCD, but is being re-evaluated due to that being "inadequate").

As an infant he seemed very different overall.

He:
1. Barely slept (no more than 15 minutes at a time till 3 months, then no more than 3 hours until 8 months).
2. Screamed constantly. Screamed while being bathed or having his diaper changed. He still does both these things at almost 5 years old because he's not potty trained.
3. Did not want to be held. Never snuggled.
4. Very sensitive to foods.
5. Hated new foods. Did not move past step 1 baby food until he was 2 years old.
6. Never held his bottle.
7. Would become obsessed with each new milestone. At 4.5 months he wanted to crawl and so he would rock back and forth on all fours ALL DAY LONG. He quit babbling, playing with toys, etc. until 6 months when he finally crawled, and then he started babbling again. Then he began to work on pulling to a stand...
8. Never put anything in his mouth (the only easy part of baby-proofing with him).
9. Spoke early. Said "cat" at 7 months, but pronounced it the way we did to him as "ka-tuh," over-pronounced because we were trying to teach him, lol. So we said it correctly and so did he. He would learn a new word everyday from about 9-12 months, but once he said it he was done with it and wouldn't repeat it again. He didn't say "mama" or "dada" until he was almost 2 years old, and he didn't refer to anybody by any name/title until he saw the Cartoon Caillou when he was over 2 years old, then he labeled everyone grandma, mommy, etc. all in one day.
10. Climbed everything. Ran non-stop as soon as he was mobile. At 11 months we would take him to the park and he would run in one direction to the very edge of the park, then we would pick him up and carry him screaming and yelling back to the play area, just so he could do it again. I used to dread taking him to the park, lol. I was already pregnant again and just so tired. It felt like a sprinting exercise.
11. At baby activity groups he wouldn't stay with me. All the other babies/toddlers would sit and interact with their moms while my son crawled/ran (depending on age) away from me the whole time. I felt like a failure as a parent. He still won't stay with me and he's almost 5 years old now.
12. He was really skinny because he hated food and was constantly moving. He continually was below the 5th percentile on the growth charts. It was so stressful.
13. He was afraid of lots and of things. Hated change of any kind.
14. Had zero desire to please. Ever. We used to think he had some kind of hearing impairment because he wouldn't respond to us or follow instructions, but it really was just because he didn't see the point in doing so.
15. He never seemed babyish. More like a little adult or an android, but extremely hyperactive.
16. He would regress developmentally in loud situations. Such as reverting to crawling at social events when he was used to walking, etc.
17. I felt like he wasn't really mine, like a disconnect or inability to bond with him until he was over a year old. I did not feel this way with my second NT son, I think because he responded to me. I was able to make my first son giggle though, but that was about it.

I know this is not quite the question, but throughout the years I feel like the consistent things I noticed were lack of copying or conforming behavior, drive to learn something new and then abandoning the skill, lack of interest/affection toward people, and anxiety toward new things. He still isn't potty trained, and would prefer baby food, even though his vocabulary is advanced. His speech now reminds me of a cross between Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory and Sherlock Holmes. Anyway, HTH.

I don't know about 9 months specifically, but as a baby I was described as 'happy-curious'. Quick learner, very curious, long attention span, good at self-soothing - the only possible signs of autism back then were good things. I pretty much perfectly fit the description of how gifted babies tend to act.

I definitely did have intense interests as a baby, but other than that, most of my autistic traits weren't visible until later. Not that I regressed or anything, I just started to fall behind in social skills in late preschool. My parents just figured I was a quirky kid.

Incidentally, my other two areas of delays weren't visible until even later. My motor issues showed up as being slow to learn how to ride a bike, and being poor in gym class at school. My executive dysfunction didn't really show up until people started expecting me to keep track of things around the age of 10-11 or so.

My sensory issues were evident in preschool, too, but my parents didn't recognize what was going on. Plus, I had the added complication of getting sexually abused by foster siblings around the same time. Given my obvious signs of PTSD around that time, they weren't looking for anything else.

Thanks for the responses, aligerous and ettina! aligerous -- wow, it sounds your son was very difficult as in infant. Did he want to interact with you at all? Was it eventually easy to bond with him?

What do you guys think, by the way -- should I be relieved that she's ignoring me on purpose or should I still be worried?

I'm not sure I would interpret it as "ignoring you on purpose". When my boys didn't respond to their name, its was not that they were ignoring me or that they didn't know their names - its because their minds are engaged elsewhere (looking intently at something, thinking something in their heads etc...). Intense focus on one thing is often seen with autism. When new people visited, however, they engaged and were much more likely to respond because they were paying attention to the new people. Does that make sense? However, I would say that is true of lots of children - that they respond differently to teachers, friends, grandparents than they do to their parents.

I know it seems really impossible, but it is likely something you will just have to wait and see how she develops. As much as possible, I would encourage you to enjoy her and try not to overanalyze (I know, easier said than done!). She's so little and you've taken steps to help her by calling early intervention. You are definitely on top of it. For little ones, the best way to learn is through play, so try to play and have fun with her!

Not responding when name is called has multiple possible causes. I am probably repeating what other said but here we go. Here are the main categories I can think of:

1)Auditory issue---either hearing (which I believe you said was ruled out) and auditor processing which is how the brain processes what the ears hear. My son has a delay, to where his brain sometimes take awhile for something to register. Also, related to that, your child may not be honing in on voices and the child's brain might be amplifying or prioritizing background noises instead of voices. My son has done this too.

2)Focus/Interest issue--As someone else said, other things are just more interesting than your voice, even when it is her name, like her hands.

I am not saying you should panic or anything, just that it bears watching.

That definitely makes sense. I'd interpret it as "ignoring me on purpose," I suppose, because she ignores all of my attempts to get her attention, even if she's willing to be distracted by other things. So for example, if I make a usual type of funny noise or say something I usually say she won't pay attention... but if I make some sort of exciting new noise or say the words to a new game she likes, she'll look up. She's a pretty focused baby, I'd say, but she doesn't exactly seem like she's paying attention to one thing and it's hard to engage her -- just that she doesn't want to bother to engage with me or anyone 'boring'! So she'd respond to our friends when we visited but still basically didn't respond to me. Does that sound like how your sons behaved?

Hah, it's pretty hard not to worry, but I do try. And I've decided to try to engage with her as much as I can. So if that means I've got to swing around or tickle her to get her attention, that's fine... and if I have to lie down on the floor and get in her line of sight for her to look me in the eye, I'll do it. And I'll try to make up new games that get her to interact.

It's definitely the 2nd one -- I had an update post where I said she responded to our friends when we visited them but not to us. So she clearly knows her name and can hear it. And it definitely bears watching -- we'll see what happens.

By the way, did Early Intervention find any delays in your younger son other than the name response when they evaluated? Sorry -- I know that post is from a while ago, but I suddenly became curious!

Hmmm, I guess I would say that sounds like my sons, especially my older son. I also may have thought of him as "ignoring" me when he was young. Its only now that he is older and I can read him better that I have an idea of what is going on in his head - if he is "thinking" (his name for running stories about his special interest in his head) or zoned out etc... Now that he is older he is such a good boy I know he would never intentionally ignore me - but there are still days I say his name 5 times in a row before I get his attention.

He was also one that always loved anything new and different, especially active. We spend years chasing him, tickling him, swinging him, throwing him in the air, dancing, blowing bubbles... Just like you said, our goal was to keep him interacting - and its great exercise for you too He loves interacting now - it just took a little persistance.

By the way, did Early Intervention find any delays in your younger son other than the name response when they evaluated? Sorry -- I know that post is from a while ago, but I suddenly became curious![/quote]

No, he had no additional delays - he qualified only for not responding to his name. I did request (and got) OT as well because I was concerned that he had some sensory issues (he did not officially qualify for OT, though). I may have been overanalyzing due to my older son's issues. Today, he does have a sensitivity to light (more so than typical), but otherwise the sensory issues seem to have faded since.

Got it! So was it possible to get your son's attention at all if he was not responding to his name? or was he just out of it? Also, did he have any other signs as a baby? (I apologize if you already replied to this -- I took a look at the earlier postings, but I didn't find it.)