What is the worst thing someone has said about your kid

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I was watching a youtube video today and it made me wonder about other people. What situations have parents of autistic kids found theirselves in where people haven't understood and said or done something horrible and discriminative?

The principal said my kid is hateful, depressing, and creepy. The principal is not my pal.

Probably the worst thing that ever happened to me I mentioned in another thread. I was at Walmart with my HFA 4 yr old, a 4 yr old with CP that was barely ambulatory in the basket, and my 3 yr old ADHD/ODD/Sensory kid (he's outgrown the major sensory stuff now, but it was bad then). The three year old went into major meltdown, which meant I had to restrain him, because he would try to hurt himself, run and not look back, throw everything, and attack anyone near him. I couldn't let go of him long enough to get my 4 year old into the basket, and his response to the younger one having a fit was to go into shutdown, so he couldn't follow along if I managed to somehow start pushing the buggy toward the exit.

I was trapped there in the aisle, wrapped around my screaming, thrashing child, trying to keep the other two calm. I had managed to get my phone and call my friend who lived close by to come help me, and was waiting for her to get there. Several people had started to come down the aisle, given us looks ranging from, "you are abusing that child" to "why would you let that child act like that" to actual fear. Then a Walmart employee, a manager, I believe, came up and said, "I'm afraid you're going to have to leave. You're disturbing the other customers. We've had complaints." Now up to that point, I had been extremely calm and polite, apologizing for the inconvenience, saying I had help coming and we'd be out of the way soon.

That guy didn't get polite.

I screamed at him "What the *bleep* to do you think I'm trying to do!!" He started backing away from the crazy woman at that point. I did manage to yell over the kid screaming that I had help coming, and indeed, my friend got there a couple of minutes later (before the cops could, because I assume that was going to be the manager's next move). And she pushed the buggy and got those two kids into the car seats while I wrestled the 3 year old out of the store and into his car seat.

I mean really, no one that saw what was happening could say, would you like some help? Could I push these two for you to help you get out of here?

Oh lord where do I start, I have a non-verbal three year old that loves going with me on errands and shopping so he goes with me a lot but he has episodes and meltdowns.

People are always trying to get him to talk to them, and then claim he is rude because of course he pays them no attention. I've had people ask me if he is disturbed whatever that means, no one knows what autism means so I started telling people he was deaf.

He wears diapers still and if I have to change him in a public restroom he struggles and fights the entire time while screaming as loud as he can continuously until he is choking. Which always has people wondering what is going on, or all staring at us when we leave the toilet.

He sometimes just goes crazy and runs, if I catch him he kicks and struggles and screams. Sometimes employees try to help and just get beat up and then act angry. They also all assume he is 6-7 years old due to his size.

Once he ran and pushed a shopping cart into a display knocking over a bottle of wine that hissed from the cork, I bought it without protest. But then the store manager had to come over and try to loudly shame me at the checkout(even though I was purchasing the wine along with my other groceries). I'm also on the spectrum so my demeanor just seems to rub everyone the wrong way.

My son likes to go limp when crossing busy streets which are common in the city, I am always holding his hand and if I have a load I have little choice but to essentially drag him til we are out of the street. If I stop and try to pick him up I'll have cars honking and hurling abuse, he will fight and kick me knocking bags out of my hand and groceries flying all over the street(this has happened!). Once a female cop actually had the nerve to say how horrible it was I was dragging a child, and when I turned to tell her what am I supposed to do let him lay down in the road he broke from my hand and dashed and she was like what the hell while I had to dash after him only catching him several hundred feet later.

I can't even recount all the nasty comments and verbal abuse, that I need to beat him and I can't control him. A parent not controlling a child id seen as SHAMEFUL to the extreme in this country. I also feel trapped by that because I don't care about local culture which just attracts more negative attention.

Oh once on a playground in a fast food restaurant my son was obsessed with taking and lining up all the kids shoes, and other things it seemed that one dad noticed my son was autistic and he then would scold his own sons whenever they came near not to touch my son. I told him it is ok my son isn't made out of china, he won't break. My wife told me he was probably worried about his own sons getting infected by my sons stupid jumbie. Yes even professionals in child care here believe mental illness is caused by jumbies, evil spirits that are infectious.

I just deal with such an enormous amount of idiocy and stupidity I just want to go back to the USA.

I've been on the receiving end of some pretty nasty comments through my life but none were so hurtful as what I overheard at the school gates while picking up DS1 (Louis). I said he could invite a friend over to dinner and I overheard the kid asking his mum if he could come, and her responding very loudly "f**k no, his dad's a fa***t, you're not going to his house". It wasn't aimed at him and was nothing at all in his control, but he was the one suffering for it. I felt awful for Louis that people were so judgmental of my lifestyle that they didn't want their kids to be his friends. Not only that but they were bringing their kids up to be as ignorant and intolerant as them.

I think the comment I find most hurtful is when DD10 is anxious/overstimulated and working to control herself (she will stim with noises, rocking hitting herself etc depending on severity) and I have had to explain to people witnessing this that she is AS..... "Oh, but she looks so.... normal."

SHE IS NORMAL - she is AS yes, but she has been all her life, and will be all her life, and you were perfectly happy with her when you still believed she was the anxious over-zealous naughty kid..... She hasn't changed - only your perception of her has.... Rwar! Its like people who change their attitude toward someone when they find out they are gay - you liked them before you knew, and they are still that person.....

I really feel for all of you, and am so glad I haven't had a lot of negative comments.

Well, except for when my husband's aunt told me "There is something wrong with him!" It was a serious no-duh moment for me. I'd told him about my autism suspicions, and she told me this after she'd escalated a meltdown because she kept trying to discipline him into behaving. I just sort of stood back and watched because she wouldn't let him be. Now she's learned to let me take over, let him have his way, or have him leave the situation. I can tell she still wants to discipline him, and it makes me want to laugh.
Discipline is one thing, but picking your battles usually wins out for me. My son is well behaved and sweet, but sometimes you just let him have his way for peace of mind.

Otherwise, the main annoying comment I get is from grandmothers giving unsolicited parenting advice, usually along the lines of "just relax". Even had one grandmotherly person tell me 'he's not a criminal" because I was getting onto my son for not listening and getting into things.

Gotta love folks who know how to raise your child better than you do at a glance.

I should really cut my father-in-law some slack. He'd had a stroke, and open-heart surgery, and that doesn't do any favors for the level of patience you're capable of having with people. He was confined to a wheelchair, dying by inches, and seriously depressed. We'd begged him to try antidepressants or an antianxiety medication, to which he responded, "I've never touched dope and I'm not going to start."

But, "He's doing it on purpose. If you give a f**k about that kid, you'd better be beating him more."

It wouldn't have been so bad, but it was little things. Running in the house, putting his hands on the wall, forgetting to tiptoe past the psychotic dauchshund, talking too much, talking while the TV was on (which was basically all the time). Granted, the kid was always on guard when he was around Grandpa (he didn't want to get whacked with Grandpa's back scratcher). The kid was also a sad, angry, nervous wreck who spent as little time around Grandpa as humanly possible.

Really, Dad?? Really?? I know you'd been through a lot, but I also know you were still a really smart guy. So-- really??

DS's developmental psychologist, who I otherwise really like, has said a few times when we were discussing how well things are going now, "Looking back, I used to wonder just HOW you coped." IN FRONT OF DS!

Come on, you're a pdoc, surely you've seen worse cases!

A woman at the playground called my DS5 a "very, very bad child" because he was acting aggressively. She was very angry my son pushed her daughter and I think she fell down. I wasn't there, but it made me feel bad when I heard about it (our caregiver told me about it). My son was in a very bad mood, having had to deal with several kids grabbing his toys, so he took it out on the poor girl. It's no excuse, but I think she could have kept her name-calling to herself and just commented on his behavior.

a very uneducated lady told my son he was rude and needed to learn manners. She then went on to tell me that if he were HER child he wouldn't be acting that way, she would give him a swift kick you know where.

A NEUROLOGIST told me that mentally ret*d kids behave the way my son does, even though he had his recent psychological report in front of him where it showed he is on the higher end of intelligence.

One of the "guidance counselers" at my Aspie son's middle school (he's now in 9th grade) told him that he needs to be in a straight jacket in a psych ward. My husband, also a teacher, brought down the wrath of the autism proponents and advocates. I'm now not so sure that teacher still works there.

Also, my not-so-mentally-stable aunt posted on Facebook something very mean and disparaging about Asperger's. Something to the effect of "...more like 'head-up-his-ass'..." My Momma posted back that she was so ashamed to have anyone in our family making fun of someone with a diagnosed disability. Momma, my sister, and I unfriended and blocked her so that we don't have to read her "woe is me" drama stories every day. Personally, I wouldn't spit on her if she was on fire.