Adoption - as an aspie

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Sorry for your loss. It's a shame.

This is, unfortunately, why I tell people who are functioning well enough not to get a diagnosis.

The benefits, unless you want to collect disability, are few. The costs, especially if you have managed to drag yourself to the point of being able to live a "normal" life, are many.

I've had people try to take my kids from me simply based on disclosing my diagnosis. Now, I have PTSD and a really lethal sense of shame (literally lethal-- I've tried to kill myself over the fact that society can make me worthless no matter what I do).

If you were in America, I'd say, SUE. Or get in touch with the media, or both. I don't think they really care whether they paint you up as a martyr or a mass murderer-- just so long as they get to paint you up and sell advertising space.

In the Great Nanny State of Britain, I don't know what your options are. I hear that they MOUTH more tolerant words over there, but the actual FACT of your life is, in truth, much worse.

Have you considered adoption of a child with a handicap? Like other people have said, since there are more willing parents than healthy young children available for adoption, any little anomaly will lead to a rejection.

Fewer people are queing for children with a handicap though. Unfortunately, because they're the ones that need it the most. For a blind child a precise language is highly beneficial and lack of body language means nothing.

I have a blind daughter myself. Although it takes more effort and adaption than parenting a seeing child, the joy of parenthood is no less. People around us seems to think it's much harder than us.

We were told that was one of the downsides to a formal diagnosis by friends before starting on the process. There are also some issues with joining the armed forces and police with an autism diagnosis though I think there is a bit more wiggle room. Have you considered fostering? Depending on your local authority you might be ideal for older children with ASD who are typically very hard to place.