Your stance on plushies/coping items?

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Many NTs of all ages carry whimsical things. Isn't there a celebrity or two who caries a small (real) dog? They carry them for similar reasons, but somehow get away with it. Don't teen girls decorate their beds with stuffed animals? The OP is an adult, and I would think anything of seeing her with a small stuffed animal in a pocket or purse or even laying on her desk. I say be confident and whimsical. There is not enough of that in the world.

I actually used stuffed animals as mascots in my 4th through 6th grade classes. Every morning they were hidden, and class didn't start until someone found them. My kids couldn't wait to get to my class to find them. They were also used to clean dry erase boards, to model the wrong ways to present their reports, to demonstrate things I was teaching, etc. When adults thought I was demeaning the kids, I just told them that my kids were not treating them as little kids would - they were rough! I thought it brought out some whimsy, creativity, stress relief, etc.

When my AS son is open to it (and he hasn't in a while) I use them with him, especially a frog. They are helpful for social stories and just breaking tension in the atmosphere. My son has been argumentative for a while but that is breaking. He is starting to do cute things again and less arguing, so we may go back to using the frog. Lately he has been saying he loves cats, and I respond by saying I prefer frogs, just for fun.

Transition as they age to having inside and outside animals. A good rationale is the favorite one stays home so it doesn't get lost and then allow them to help pick the outdoor pets. And why does elephant plushie want to go outside? He likes sunning his trunk, or bear has to stay home because he gets car sick. Maybe one that is permanently buckled in the car next to them if cars or leaving is an issue. I know several adults over 40 who sleep with large plushies and/or carry a pocket sized. If they are old enough for a key, you can sneak it past the school if it is a plushie keychain and they don't distract with it.

If you forcibly remove their comfort without helping them transition, it will set them back and cause stress.

This is a good point, and I was thinking the same thing - but there is an important caviat. A lot of people will include a bit of whimsy or flair in their life that makes them seem odd, but their natural charisma makes it seem odd in a fun way. It's almost like self-handicapping, they may be trying to say: "I'm so confident that I can afford to look weird." People with ASDs may not have the cache or social skills necessary to pull that combination off, and so it may just work against them socially. That doesn't mean they shouldn't do it, but they should be aware that it may play a role in how others perceive them.

A celebrity may be able to have a whole room in their giant house devoted to stuffed animals, and people will just see that as cute, meanwhile a few stuffed animals on a couch might spoil a first date for one of us regular people. -It may not be worth dating someone who would judge based on that sort of thing, but again, people should be aware that it can play a role in how they are perceived.

I think it's a difficult one. If your 11 year old boy for eg takes a toy doll/teddy bear with him to school and gets laid into by the other kids he may decide to leave the toy at home the next day but by then he's already the weirdo with the doll and a target for bullying. If, as a parent, you can 100% forsee that happening and there are gentle ways you could discourage them taking the toy what is to be gained by having them take it?

This is actually sort of what happened with my son in 5th grade and it actually ended up being a good thing. I had tried to gently point out to him that I didn't think it was a good idea for him to bring his stuffie to school with him and he ignored me. He got teased. A lot. It was at that point that both of us realized that I needed to boldly explain to him when he is doing something that can make him a target and he needed to trust my judgement....or not, but that if he didn't, he may not like the consequences. After that, I stopped trying to "gently suggest in as non-confrontational and caring of a way as possible" when he was stepping over a boundary and I simply tell him "that is inappropriate for a kid your age and it will likely make you a target." If he wants to discuss more (and sometimes he does) we will, but generally at this point, he will just opt not to do it.

But as I think I have mentioned here or somewhere else, sometimes he still chooses to do things, even after I point out that he may be targeted for it. That is fine. Fine with me and fine with him. I actually think it makes the targeting easier for him to deal with because he went into it expecting it and it was his choice, as opposed to having no idea it was going to happen and feel at the mercy of other kids and social rules he does not always understand.

I am nearly eighteen and when im ill i still snuggle up with my favourite toy cat Midnight and the last time i was in hospital my mum bought me a soft brave doll which i lay and snuggled. I weaned myself off of taking my toys places when i was about twelve i noticed my nt frirnds were a bit embarassed and i didnt need them as much as i used to.

I agree with everything InThisTogether has said…

I think it's important to have courage and make sure it's not one's own discomfort with social pressures driving any decision, but I don't think there's anything wrong with just telling a kid "how it is" -- what they can reasonably expect from others if they choose to continue to carry around a stuffed animal. And then allow them to make their own choice about it.

My brother loved stuffed animals and continued to collect them throughout his school years, much to my father's annoyance. My dad was so worried that this habit would be a "deal-breaker" with girls and that my brother would be teased and not be considered "available" for friends or female attention (like, even if the girls secretly liked him, they would be afraid to give him attention because of consequences to their OWN social standing if they did.) Well, my dad worried too much. My brother was teased anyway (NOTHING could have prevented that, I believe); the girls still liked him anyway (the smart girls, which were the ones he liked too) and in fact they thought his stuffed-animal interest was sweet. He still has a collection today, even though he's a grown man in his 40s. My kids love going to his house because he has so many fun things around.

I myself have always slept with a stuffed animal or two and I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I find it soothing and it also help me from accidentally cutting off the circulation in my arms (which I'm prone to do if I sleep in a weird position).

Sometimes when I consider things like this (do I need to protect my child from X, Y, or Z?) I think about those schoolchildren who had the courage to enroll in the all-white school in Little Rock in the 50s. What were THEIR parents thinking as their children were screamed at and spat at in the face? Getting a negative social reaction for something is not, in itself, a reason to throw your own convictions overboard. But it takes an enormous amount of courage.

I remember being a young adult and going out to eat with extended family, and my nephew was hand-flapping at a restaurant. Another family-member tried to "shush" him and gently push his hands down, so as not to draw attention to himself. I think it was mostly motivated by "love" (didn't want people to stare at him or tease him) but it enraged me. It's a very short path between that way of thinking, and hiding a special-needs kid at home, because, omg, "what will people think." There is nothing wrong with hand-flapping. It just looks different from the way most "typical" people keep their bodies busy. Why on earth someone should be embarrassed about hand-flapping, but not nail-biting or foot-tapping, or knuckle-cracking, or WHATEVER, is beyond me. I mean, I KNOW why--because it's DIFFERENT. Whatever. If we don't challenge these instincts of humans to persecute anything that's different, then we fail to support our kids. Even when it comes from a place of concern and love.

My 5 year old daughter has a need to take things with her EVERYWHERE. When she was in preschool, she would often take a toy from home. It wasn't always the same toy; she has no real loyalty but whatever is her object of the day tends to keep her regulated. Insist that she keep it at home or not take it with her and there will be hell to pay. For now, she's little and it's okay. I don't foresee myself forcibly taking away a comfort item from her so long as its unobtrusive and it doesn't unduly distract her from whatever it is she's supposed to be doing.

Oddly enough, she did not have a lovey of any kind until she was about 4 years old. She has a very firm attachment to me and tends to get disorganized (?) if we're separated in a manner that she's not expecting.

http://tokiogirl23.tumblr.com/image/169648909430
Me and my Sam Winchester doll.

I'm sure it would come as no surprise to anyone who has seen me post frequently that my favorite stuffed toy as a child was a Siamese cat. I used to take it with me to school. I still collect cat-related items today.

I use a bag/backpack that basically IS a stuffed animal.

I've gotten rid of all but one of my original stuffed animals - a small elephant named 'Elley'. I used to have an entire family of elephants - his 'father,' a 'mother,' and a 'granddaddy' that was about 12 inches high. All of them were taken to the thrift store years ago.

I also had a Ty chipmunk (Chipper), and also used to have this: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/c7/0f/48 ... 7361cb.jpg
For most of elementary school, 'Krabby' always went with me - except to school of course. But in the car, on vacations, or in bed (whether my bed or on vacation), that crab was always with me. His beads inside started to disintegrate, so unfortunately it was sent away to the thrift store by the time I reached 5th grade. Since it was so hard making friends at school - besides the adults, the stuffed animals saved me.

Now I (still have) the elephant Elley, and a few advertising plushes that I've been collecting over the past couple of years. I've got two Serta counting sheep's - always loved those commercials! They are always in my room. I've also got an RCA Nipper dog plush and just acquired a Coca-Cola polar bear plush from a yard sale. All of those are just for display.

I sleep with a giant stuffed Om Nom every night and I'm 43. I like to joke with my friends that I'm Peasexual.

My daughter is 21. She has the plush, Sam, Dean and Castiel plush. That are on her bed with teddy. They give her emotional stability. She does board games with them and plays ‘Supernatural’ trivia as well.

Plushy Backpack and my old watchimal were good solutions for years for public time/school.
His blankie is sleep go-to. I had his aunt make 3 more when I realized the addiction and we are on the fourth one now (losses incl move-ocean-bus..now last one is safer since he is more aware at 13 how much he does not want this sleep aid to go. His need lessened with service dog but she died this year of Valley Fever)