16 yr should know about a posible side effect of a med ?

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Im really sorry, but I feel so shocked by your post. It is emotionally scarring NOT to have the full view on your own healthcare and body at 16, whatever his problems! If my parents realised this and didnt tell me INSTANTLY, I'd literally hate them for it. He is not just your child, he is a person in his own right and he should have the ultimate decision about what to do. You may think he's not ready, but I'm afraid you cant get away from the fact that he is grown already and should be given much more responsibility- if he wants to be a more independent adult he needs to start to be prepared for it before 16.

The fact he will know people are keeping things from him will make him VERY paranoid, and may even be the cause of some of his symptoms, especially the hair loss which is often stress-related. I'd say he should've been given this information BEFORE he was put on such strong drugs- how do you know there are not other, more serious side effects he's having and not telling you about, thinking it's insignificant (teens can be secretive if theyre embarrassed etc).

He should have known what to look out for, (I cant believe the doctor didn't talk to him about this!), but maybe it needed to be presented differently for him, like "All drugs have side effects, but you need to decide what you will put up with" and "you must tell me if you notice these things while you're taking this". He'll probably surprise you and make a reasoned judgement, and if he decides that he wants no drugs, you'll just have to accept his decision im afraid.

Maybe its a cultural thing (Im in the UK) but I just think openness is key with children and 16 is such a hard age you dont need to be fighting for information and power with your parents. I think its also hard for me to understand why you would ever put kids on these things while their brains are developing, so I'm sorry if I offended you, I just needed to be on your sons side "properly" for a moment. I know these things are harder to do in reality.

I think you should inform him of all the possible side effects of his meds, how are you going to know if hes having negative side effects if he does not even know what to look for, in the end it comes down to his functioning level and his understanding of the situation

I don't even know how you have managed to keep any information from him... That's sure not what woud happen in our house. Here, I have my kids come in asking me what such-and-such means because they've looked up something (a medication, a "symptom," something they've heard on the news...) on the internet and don't quite understand what it means. And my husband and I both firmly believe it is our job to help them learn whatever they want to know, so we try to explain it fairly and calmly, even if it is loaded. Give them the facts in terms they will understand, and then add in my opinion or values with a clear statement that this is my opinion. In this situation, I would look up reliable info (yes, like medscape or product insert), read it with him, tell him that all medications have benefits and side effects, discuss the benefits, and then state my opinion.

I think you should be honest. If he decides that the risk of side effects is too high, I wouldn't categorize that as an unstable decision. Plenty of adults make this choice and we don't tend to think of them in the same way...it's an acceptable choice for them. Why not your son?

I make chamomile tea with apple juice.

(I also take lexapro, for what that's worth.)

Do you live in the US? Because if so, at 16 he really needs to start taking a stronger role in his own healthcare. At 18, he is legally an adult, and will be covered by all of HIPPA privacy and whatever else it covers. You may not even be allowed in the room with him once he's 18, let alone make his health care decisions. Unless you get a healthcare proxy or something, or he gives written permission.

thanks to you all again, and I agree that its his health / life and he should be part of decision making and everything and that's why I wrote, but the thing is his cognitive function / reasoning etc is impaired. He is so black and white that a thing is either good or bad and can be nothing in between. Its a long list of such issues that he was not really consulted. We are taking the guardianship after he turns 18 because he cannot make informed decisions- so this is all behind it.

After reading your comments (and I also thought it was the right thing to do) I did share with him about the possible side effects medicines have, and that Lexapro could be a possible reason. After that he has asked me a couple of times "so you think its the medicine that is making me lose hair "? That's how it got translated and registered and this is what I don't want anyone to hear because I never said that, but since I never was in the favor of medicine , this will start a fight with my husband, who believes that all the side effects are just listed by the manufacturers because they just "want to be safe" and do not really happen to many people in actuality. He is telling my son that he worries too much. With my son not really able to make these decisions, and the parents not seeing eye to eye on many issues, I feel lost and worried . Until the blood results come back and we see an endocrinologist, I think we will continue with the meds...the psychiatrist wants to wait for that too....

I think at 16 he has every right to know. Part of being an adult is being able to digest that information and make decisions about your own care, and even if you apply something like a 30% rule and figure he's not going to be ready to be an adult until he's 24 or so, he's getting awfully close.

It's time, IMO.

I get the thing about spazzing out about all the possible side effects. Seriously. But at some point he is going to have to learn to get past that-- to understand that common side effects happen to about 10% of people, uncommon ones happen to about 1%, et cetera et cetera, and to perform a cost/benefit analysis.

If I couldn't do that, I would be totally dependent on my husband to make medication choices for me...

...and I'd still be suffering with no libido and pretty heavy flattening of affect on Prozac, more than two years after the really serious depression ended. The Prozac was a good idea-- a completely necessary thing-- for a while. It continued to be worth the cost for about a year after it stopped being utterly necessary. And then things shifted a little more, and I was able to make the decision to either try a different form of medication or just quit altogether.

Right now I'm doing pretty good on massive amounts of B-complex, with an extra B6 supplement for anxiety. And I care about things and can enjoy sex again.

But I could not have got there if I had not developed the ability to plow through those long lists of side effects and make decisions.

Another case in point: If, two months after I got out of the nuthouse, I hadn't read all the side effects, I would have thought it was depression and laziness that had me nauseous and laying on the couch all day. I would have thought I was packing on weight because I didn't move much. As it was, I knew that thyroid dysfunction was a likely side effect of both Prozac and Remeron...

...so I trotted myself to the doctor for a blood workup. My thyroid was fine. I was nauseous and tired and packing on weight because I was 10 weeks pregnant. It never would have crossed my mind-- we were being careful. Really, really careful-- we'd lost a pregnancy about 18 months earlier, and we both agreed that it was probably for the best as 3 kids in 5 years would have been rough. To this day, all I can tell myself is that I slept like a rock on Remeron, and Ab must be the fortuitous product of an Ambien date.

If I hadn't known about the possible side effects, I would have kept soldiering through. And God only knows what would have happened to Abigayle-- Remeron can cause some pretty nasty birth defects (withered limbs-- nothing life-ending or that I think anyone would consider an abortion over, but nice to avoid). Not knowing you're pregnant until you feel the baby kick isn't exactly great either.

As it was, I knew what could happen, and I trotted myself to the doctor, and I got the information, and I got off the Remeron posthaste, and I got an early ultrasound so we could prepare ahead of time if there were any defects (there weren't, but the information would have been handy), and two years later Ab and I are both good.

Knowledge is power. He's a big boy. Hubby needs to realize that.

In my opinion. I have a lot of opinions.

For real, get him some Rogaine for Men. WalMart has it and they even have their own off brand which is the same thing and cheaper. I use their brand of Rogaine for Women because my hair is falling out from Menopause and also severe stress. It can't hurt him. Try it. Give it a month before you start to notice any regrowth. It really does work. Tell him that the meds may be doing it, or he could just be losing it early. My husband lost his early on top and he has a Jew-fro type hair. You know, thats what they call white boys with kinky hair that stands out. He's English and Irish but he has the Jew fro and while that was popular in the 70's it wasn't so much in the 80's and by the time he was wearing the mullett (80s in Alabama, don't hate) it was falling out on top. He was in his 30's. It was thin on top when we married when he was 23. By he time he was 40 - 45 he had long hair, wild long hair because kinky hair grows out frizzy, and when he didn't braid it, with the bald spot on top he looked like David Crosby. Not a good look. He shaved his head on his 50th birthday and grew a little devil goatee and I really liked that look but now he's grown it back and it's frizzy again and with the baldness on top he has Bozo hair. He never cared mush about his hair though. Obviously.

My best friend, the cougar, is dating a boy in his 20's. The skinhead. I found out yesterday why hes adopted the skinhead look, since he's far from that tough. It happened when she told me he is growning a full beard. Now the boy is bald. Shaves his head every day. I said where is the beard going to end up top by his ears? Bears usually fade into the hair, he needs to grow his hair back. She said he can't, he's completely bald on top, worse than your husband. Oh. And he's about 24 or 25. (She's my age but looks much younger) So, you need to find out if the hair loss is normal for him or if it is the meds. I'd let him know up front and see if he wants to go off them a while and try something else. Also first thing today, go get him that Rogaine. Start it today. One dropper full rubbed in on the bald areas in the morning and then at night. It takes less than 30 seconds to do both. It does work, I swear by it.

Talk to the doctor in private too first if it makes you feel better. Find out if there is any way to tell if it's the meds or just his head thats causing it. If it is his head causing it, you need to start now to prevent him from ending up like my husband and my besties bf. If nothing else, he can always shave his head and grow a goatee. That's actually a very popular look and without the tattoos that my bestie's bf has, it doesn't imply skinhead, it's a popular fashion look now.

But seriously, let him make the decision. He can get off the mes for a month or so and see if the hair grows back or keeps falling out. If it keeps falling out then it wasn't the med, it was his head and you'll need to treat that seperately. The last thing you want to happen is for him to get concerned one night and start googling and find out on his own and flip out that nobody told him this whole time, knowing how important his hair is to him. If the hair is adding to his anxiety then the pills are just trying to play catch up.

Good luck, and I promise you, Rogaine is very safe. Very. Get the Wal Mart brand though because it's the same thing and the name brand is expensive. I've used both and they both work just as well. If I didn't use it, I would have two huge bald spots above my temples at the corners of my hairline. As it is, I still can't pull it straight back, but I part it and pull one side over and straighten that bang and have a long bang that hangs over to my ear.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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A BIG BIG THNAKS to you all again; Rogaine is a good idea an though I had heard about it, was nt really sure. I will get it from Walmart and will try; I have talked to him briefly about the meds a couple of times - I need to talk about it more; he will make informed decision and I will help him do that.
You are all such wonderful people and after talking to you, I can think better... Best to all of you ! !

Just to be safe -- double check with the pharmacist and with the prescribing doctor about whether there would be an issue with taking Rogaine along with Lexapro. You want the professionals to weigh in, not just take medical advice off the internet.

What about attacking it from the other side?

What I mean is...there are "side effects" of not taking the medication as well. Those are basically the effects of having untreated anxiety. In order for anyone to make educated decisions about anything, you have to know both sides. The pros and the cons. What happens if you follow a course of treatment and what happens if you don't. For my son, for example, he is aware that stimulant medications can stunt his growth. But he is also aware that people with untreated ADHD are at a higher risk for dropping out of school and becoming substance abusers, for example. He also knows that not all side effects apply to all people. So, just because it is "possible" doesn't mean it will necessarily happen.

I am generally in favor of adjusting our expectations of kids in accordance with the knowledge that "age appropriate" may not be developmentally appropriate. On the other hand, I think we also need to make sure we do not handicap our kids more than necessary by assuming that they cannot handle things. Sometimes they can. In this case, he is the one suffering from the anxiety, and it seems that you should be able to use his experience of that as a jumping board to helping him really think this through and not focus on only one factor: hair loss.