Need advice for my 11yr old that has language disorder

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Just a little background.My 11yr old daughter did not talk until she was between 2-3yrs old that is after she had speech therapy. She had fluid in her ears so she did not hear for the first few years of her life. Growing up she was a little slow for her stages such as sitting up, crawling, walking. As a toddler she always had to have everything in her room put back in the spot it belonged for her to go to bed and she had two favorite books that she liked me to read to her, she liked them so much that she memorized them both word from word. She was a finger sucker all the way up to 1st grade. In 3rd grade she was diagnosed with ADHD due to focusing and struggling in school with reading, which was weird to me becuase she LOVED to read at that time.. Well, the struggle with reading and then math continued that she was held back in fourth grade. The past few years i have felt something was different with her but i have not been able to pin point it. Recently she was diagnosed with a language disorder that has made me look into Auditory processind disorder so i am going to have her evaluated for that in the next few weeks. But again i still feel like there is something else i am missing. I have to tell her step by step instructions as in her daily routines, i feel she doesnt listen to anything she is told to do. She is very disorganized. She Hates cleaning her room. She is always doing cartwheels in the house, I have always said her different behaviors were just her. How she sees the world. idk. Any advice or help i would greatly appreciate.

What language disorder was she diagnosed with? Needing step by step instructions could be a symptom of a few different things...you might also look at non-verbal learning disorder, dyslexia, and dyscalculia. The National Center for Learning Disorders has a website with a lot of great info: http://www.ncld.org/

How is she doing socially? Your description doesn't scream "autism" to me, but of course it's just a small snapshot of what's going on.

If you have the means, I would seek out someone who can do a full neuropsychological evaluation, looking at things like working memory, auditory processing, motor skills, etc.

Does your daughter have an IEP? Be sure to read From Emotions to Advocacy by Peter Wright. It's all about how to navigate the IEP process to get the help your daughter needs from the school system.

She has receptive/expressive/social language disorder.

She is doing okay socially, she is better with just with one friend than a group. She doesnt scream "autism" to me as well. But, she does show some signs but not the most common i would say.

She does have a IEP but at this moment just set up for her to have speech theraphy. We are still working on the other so she can have special accommodations.

To me it sounds like she may have autism, but it could be something different. If she is autistic then maybe she would be more of the defiant type, rather then systematic, I remember reading somewhere once about the two distinct types.

Is she still struggling academically? I wonder if you need to add some academic goals to the IEP to get her more help in those areas.

yes, still struggling academicaly. This is her second year in 4th grade and really has not approved much at all. I am fighting with the school to add some academic goals

If you can afford an advocate, a good one would really help make sure you get the right testing done and that well written goals are in place.

I am going to look into that. Thank you for all your help

It sounds like your daughter is a visual person, rather than a verbal person.

People with dyslexia, dyscalculia, ADHD/ADD and Autism/Aspergers , and milder forms (~40% of US kids) have strong visual/right brain dominance with weak hemisphere connectivity to the verbal/left brain where word and math symbology, and social communication processing takes place. (Strong local connectivity and weaker global connectivity). So there is considerable overlap in behavior. Critical thinking occurs in the right hemisphere. That is why people with dyslexia, dyscalculia, ADHD/ADD and Autism/Aspergers frequently have high IQ's.

It is also why there is a lot of confusion in the labeling. Labels are given subjectively based on behavior, and are not medical diagnosis.

Current US education system is geared for one type of brain, verbal left brain with moderate global connectivity, which is present in 25% of the students. All students benefit from total brain teaching. Visual kids do well when taught at home and school using visual techniques.

This might be helpful...http://www.kidsbehavioralneurology.com/ ... 0Disorders.

Can't get the link to work. Go to section Autistic Spectrum Disorders: Sorting it Out and then click the link that says "Summary Table"

Thank you for sharing.

I have never heard of him. His work looks interesting, so I ordered some of his books.

Even in his 2014 book, he still paints the syndrome mix as disorders. When it is known it is part of the continuum of natural human brain diversity, bringing a mix of good and bad depending on the environment.

As part of a, at least, 6 generation family of members with his "syndrome mix", I find this offensive and harmful. Outcome in my family really had a huge part in attitude. The label disability is an attitude killer.

To quote an expert in the area:

“Unlike the diagnosis for strep throat, the diagnostic criteria for autism have changed with each new edition of the DSM. I warn parents, teachers, and therapists to avoid getting locked into the labels. They are not precise. I beg you: Do not allow a child or an adult to become defined by a DSM label.”

—Temple Grandin, Ph.D., Professor of Animal Science at Colorado State University, an autistic woman who is a world renowned expert on autism spectrum.

I have met him in person. He absolutely does not mean "disorder" in a pejorative way. He is the first person I ever met who did not speak about my children as if they were damaged, broken, or in some other way defective. They are just wired differently.

I have mixed receptive expressive language disorder. I also began speaking when I was 2.

She needs visuals!

I can't hold onto words in my mind for long. It's very frustrating. If someone expected me to follow verbal directions (especially complex ones) easily, we would both end up very frustrated. I have some recent threads about my language difficulties that may be of interest to you in understanding your daughter. I was so often seen as oppositional as a child, when that was never my intent. So, give her visuals along with verbal instructions. Or, only one verbal instruction at a time.

Now, about academics, what specifically is she struggling with in language and math? Decoding skills or comprehension? Comprehension was (and is) difficult for me. Surprisingly, speeding it up helps significantly (with overall comprehension). My brain likes to look at patterns and I can't do that when the information is coming in too slowly. Smart kids get labeled slow for this reason, sometimes.

The other major comprehension technique that helped me get through school was to read the questions before the passage/book.

For general help with comprehension, ask her to summarize anything and everything.

What is she struggling with in math? Does she understand the concepts that she is working with? If not, can you add hands on materials? After work with hands on materials, wean her to visuals, and then the abstract.

If memorization is the main culprit, then expose her to interesting math!

That's great. I look even more forward to getting his books.

It doesn't have to be.

I've met plenty of disabled people who don't question that they have a disability, but don't let it stop them from going for their dreams. One guy I know has a spinal cord problem (not an injury - it's complicated) and is in a wheelchair. He has to think about accessibility and such a lot. But he's still moving into a castle in England. (Technically, I believe he'll be living in the servants' place next to the castle. But I'm not sure all the details.)

So many people think 'disabled' means 'incapable of doing anything'. But that's not true. Disabled means there's some specific thing you can't do, or find much harder to do. It doesn't mean you can't be awesome at other things, or do awesome things with your life.