suggestions - Aspie children sticking to homework until done

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I tried all sorts of "methods" to get my son to bring his homework home. We now working together have come up with something that works. (he is 12, gr. 6).

He has a zipper binder he is very fond of. We divided it into sections for his classes with dividers. All he does with new assignments is "shove" them into the binder. I ask him to get them clipped into the rings, but that usually does not happen.

He also has duotangs for each subject. This is what the teachers "want" him to use.

So, he learned over a few months, to "shove" all papers into the binder, did not matter where, what order. They just had to be in there somewhere! We rewarded him for getting everything in, we frowned upon missed work "I forgot it at school".

I will sort the work into the sections if he has not done this. He is learning though, I do less and less sorting now, mostly only when he is stressed.
As the work gets complete, I tell him to move it over the proper duotang. I follow up to make sure it is done. So, complete work is in duotangs, incomplete shoved in the binder, then sorted by me if he does not do it. (He is learning).

He keeps the duotangs IN the binder. All of them. So "forgetting them" is not an issue. This again took awhile to build him up to, using the same method as above. rewarding all duo's home. Frowning on them not being home. This is a rigid ritual now. He does not have to "adapt" to what to bring home, what to leave behind.

Sure we have slips, he actually takes them harder then I do now. He actually CARES! I have to stop him from getting distraught and tell him "its ok, you can bring it tommorow".

We also have "flexible deadlines" which helps a lot. The problem is, when the teachers see the assignments "drop off the radar" they panic. So I am now putting a sheet at the front of each duo to "track" what work we curently have int the "binder".

He is very attached to his binder. It has pockets, one he puts all incoming notes in, one for outbound notes for me. He has a pencil place, a "ticket place". All this stuff is his doing, not mine. And I thought he did not have "rituals".

Only, if I am remiss in helping him, his teacher starts nattering about how we need to "get rid of the binder so that he will be "forced" to put everything in the corresponding duotangs! Ok... So how is he supposed to manage 6 duotangs, and where to place each paper and when, and bring what duotang home on what day... *ugh* they just don't understand!

We tried "charts" before, and "agenda" before. "notes" before. He would forget to use them! he seems to repel these sorts of organizational methods, this is the only one that works for us! I don't know if it would help you, but for us, we can't live without that "binder"!

Day two of not wanting to do homework. He wasn't doing this before - but now all of the sudden if I don't sit over him, he complains about EVERY LAST THING. It's frustrating...especially when dinner needs to be made and things have to get done.

Right now, I have absolutely no lee way at school with homework or anything that goes on in the classroom. Even though Gavin had been dx with ADD at the beginning of the school year - the only way that he could get served is if the ADD was severely impacting on his education, which it was not. As far as the school is concerned, they don't care...as long as Gavin pays attention in class. So, until I have a diagnosis, there's nothing they will do, and even more beautiful - even if I get a diagnosis, the school district (as I have been told) has 50 days to act on it...and those are SCHOOL days, not just any days so it'll be well into the school year next year before the district has to do anything at all. I wonder how far behind Gavin can get in 90 days? *sigh*

You know what then. Don't make him do it.

Really, the world will NOT come to an end. He will not miss out on an eduation. "whatever". He will be fine.

Sounds like he needs a break. You have mentioned that things are heating up for him at school, he needs time to decompress. They can't "make you make him" do the homework. If they question it, just tell them, "I won't do it if he fights me, I am not engaging in his battles anymore, it is not healthy for either of us.". If they push it a bit more, just say "look, I try, but when I know it is going to turn really nasty, I don't think that is helpful, I am not having him do homework under the gun. Since this is a new behavior, I have to wonder if he is just really burnt out lately or if something is going on at school, and he is not telling me.".

Oh well. Let it go, he may actually learn more by NOT doing his homework and getting some time to relax.

[quote="EarthCalling"][quote="FabFaye"]Doing homework is one thing, getting my son to bring it home is another.

We have a timetable for the afternoon and he is allowed some free time after school and then he has to do any homework he has actually brought home. He used to find 5 minutes was tourture and could not possibly go for any longer than that in one sitting. Fortunately we can now get half an hour out of him. Of course this does not give adequate time but I am just pleased that he is doing better.

In some respects I have given up on his education and am looking at following his interest which is in animals. He is now 12 and so I am looking at ways that he may be able to find a career in this area and so he will actually want to learn.

I think that unless they are interested in something they couldn't really care less about the consequences.[/quote]

I tried all sorts of "methods" to get my son to bring his homework home. We now working together have come up with something that works. (he is 12, gr. 6).

He has a zipper binder he is very fond of. We divided it into sections for his classes with dividers. All he does with new assignments is "shove" them into the binder. I ask him to get them clipped into the rings, but that usually does not happen.

He also has duotangs for each subject. This is what the teachers "want" him to use.

So, he learned over a few months, to "shove" all papers into the binder, did not matter where, what order. They just had to be in there somewhere! We rewarded him for getting everything in, we frowned upon missed work "I forgot it at school".

I will sort the work into the sections if he has not done this. He is learning though, I do less and less sorting now, mostly only when he is stressed.
As the work gets complete, I tell him to move it over the proper duotang. I follow up to make sure it is done. So, complete work is in duotangs, incomplete shoved in the binder, then sorted by me if he does not do it. (He is learning).

He keeps the duotangs IN the binder. All of them. So "forgetting them" is not an issue. This again took awhile to build him up to, using the same method as above. rewarding all duo's home. Frowning on them not being home. This is a rigid ritual now. He does not have to "adapt" to what to bring home, what to leave behind.

Sure we have slips, he actually takes them harder then I do now. He actually CARES! I have to stop him from getting distraught and tell him "its ok, you can bring it tommorow".

We also have "flexible deadlines" which helps a lot. The problem is, when the teachers see the assignments "drop off the radar" they panic. So I am now putting a sheet at the front of each duo to "track" what work we curently have int the "binder".

He is very attached to his binder. It has pockets, one he puts all incoming notes in, one for outbound notes for me. He has a pencil place, a "ticket place". All this stuff is his doing, not mine. And I thought he did not have "rituals".

Only, if I am remiss in helping him, his teacher starts nattering about how we need to "get rid of the binder so that he will be "forced" to put everything in the corresponding duotangs! Ok... So how is he supposed to manage 6 duotangs, and where to place each paper and when, and bring what duotang home on what day... *ugh* they just don't understand!

We tried "charts" before, and "agenda" before. "notes" before. He would forget to use them! he seems to repel these sorts of organizational methods, this is the only one that works for us! I don't know if it would help you, but for us, we can't live without that "binder"![/quote]


Thank you for that I will definately give it a try. Sounds as though it would be something my son would be into.

Just remember, his only job is to keep all the "papers" he gets, and the "duotangs" IN the binder. Does not matter how messy or unorganized it is!

It will be YOUR job to sort out the mess at first. Don't worry about this being "age appropreate" or not, because he is an Aspie, he needs help.

Don't "loose it on him" if he does not bring everything home at first. Just make it clear that you are not pleased, and he will not get his "reward".

In time, he will take to it, and do more for himself. This maybe over months, it may be over years. But he will learn.

[quote="EarthCalling"]Just remember, his only job is to keep all the "papers" he gets, and the "duotangs" IN the binder. Does not matter how messy or unorganized it is!

It will be YOUR job to sort out the mess at first. Don't worry about this being "age appropreate" or not, because he is an Aspie, he needs help.

Don't "loose it on him" if he does not bring everything home at first. Just make it clear that you are not pleased, and he will not get his "reward".

In time, he will take to it, and do more for himself. This maybe over months, it may be over years. But he will learn.[/quote]


Yes the idea of just being able to dump it in there is one reason why I thought he would like it. I put the idea before him and he likes it and has gone of quite happily with it today.