What happened there ? (Toilet training question).

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After a month of toilet training with a grand total of four wees on the toilet, today after a massive effort we got my son to wee on the toilet nine times and he also pooped once (a first). So thats pretty amazing. But it was really tiring, we decided what was needed was to follow him around the house at arms length the entire day. And this is not easy because he runs around constantly.
Also I think me and my wife want to throttle each other!

But I hope this is a springboard forward. Another thing we found is that we had reserved special treats for him that we give to him only when he goes on the toilet, now he does like these treats but they are still not that motivating. What we found was motivating was to take his beloved dried cabbage tree fronds off him (he stims with them, spinning them in his fingers) and put them in the treat box so that he can see them and has to wee to have them for a while. That is the super-motivator. I could see him finally trying really hard (and succeeding) to go.

Hang in there. It took a lot of work to get our little guy toilet trained. We tried for about 3 mo and it didn't work and gave it 6 mo and tried again. It took about two months with a very intense 4 day naked weekend(no clothes, lots of water). We did the reward chart and sticker chart that we gradually faded. After about a month/ month and 1/2 he was 90% pee trained and completely after about 3 months. It took almost another full 6 months to get him BM trained. That one was more timing and lots and lots of reinforcement when he did. We would get a few days straight where he would go in the potty and then maybe a week where he wouldn't. Over time it got better and better. We have been accident free for 8-9 months for pee and maybe three for bm.

It can be really slow and there is a lot of success and then an accident. However if he can pee and poop in the potty, then he do in again and will. Be patient and consistent. It is so worth it on the other side.

It is that hope that he is almost there -- as long as he is on a strict schedule -- that keeps me going. We are just finished with our intensive TT over the long weekend, and we had one major accident every day. Guess it could be worse. TT has pretty much replaced other goals at THE MOST IMPORTANT one to work on.

I want all the self help & adaptive living skills out of the way before he starts kindergarten next year, so they can actually focus on giving him an education. It is that desperation that keeps me going, despite the odds.

Even if he is not potty trained by k, they should not focus on it to the exclusion of else. They should just assign him an aide to deal with accidents.

(I am not trying to minimize your goal, just let you know if he can't do it in the next couple of months, they should not be using that as an excuse not to work on anything else. )

Are they going to do his IEP in the beginning of K?

NO, I get what you are saying, but my son has such few skills that I am sure they would put him in the vocational / life skills learner category as opposed to the academic learner category if he was to be evaluated right now, as I type this message. I have been networking with the parents in my school district and this was pretty much their advise - focus on getting all the adaptive / self help skills out of the way prior to starting KG and he would have a much better "standing" over all, where an actual "education" is concerned.

Currently, he has no IEP as he in private therapy. He will not start KG until Fall 2015, as I am holding him back a year. My understanding is that the district will do an in-depth assessment / evaluation prior to placement, right after school starts and our IEP meeting will probably be a month into the school year (which I am OK with).

I just have to keep working really hard over the next 15 months to push him into getting all his self-help skills and receptive language skills in place. Wish me luck ! !!

Is there any way you would be able to walk into that first IEP meeting with outside speech, OT, and intellectual evaluations? I think you might be in a stronger position to advocate for academics if you can do so, rather than relying on the school system. When was his initial eval done? If it was before fall 2012, he'll be due for a tri-annual eval anyway, and they will probably take until Nov or Dec to finish the process and hold the IEP. You may get either pushed into a low-functioning class as an interim placement, or he'll be in mainstream kindergarten without support during that period.

Might be worth consulting an advocate regarding strategy -- you can often get a free 1 hour consultation.

He does not have an IEP anymore. I dont have him in the public school system, because they were more than happy to write off my 33 month old toddler ! !! Last IEP evaluations happened 3 months before his 3rd birthday, so they wont be valid anyway. I plan to get a 9 hour neuropsych evaluation done next Summer and to submit that to the district, in addition to the results of his most recent ABLLS-R assessment.

My biggest fear is the lack of expressive language. I was told that it was very difficult to get a child placed in a mainstream classroom when that child is non-verbal. I may just end up homeschooling, if he still isnt talking by Fall of next year. I dont want babysitting, I am looking for an education, even if he cannot say a word.

Hi,
Just wanted to offer my encouragement and support. ASD kids are notoriously difficult to toilet train. Mine was almost 5 before the idea clicked, but around 8 before he felt comfortable going independently. At 10, he still wears a pull- up at night and is never dry in the morning. He also struggles with encopresis.

As someone mentioned, regression is common right before a major breakthrough and I hope that's what you're experiencing. If not, maybe set your sights a little lower? Goal one: stay dry all day with help if needed; Goal two: use the toilet independently.

Good luck!