new school - is repeating a grade a bad idea?

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OK, so in response to the post above, "redshirting" means waiting an extra year to send your kid to kindergarten so that they will be older, seem smarter, be better at sports, whatever. The term comes from college athletics, where they sometimes put freshmen students on the practice squad for a year ( the practice squad might wear red shirts?) and preserve their four years of eligibility to play in games for years 2-5. It creates a vicious cycle (in kindergarten, not in college sports) because no one wants their kid to be the youngest, so the more people redshirt the more others feel like they have to do it too. Some districts now have 7 year olds going into kindergarten.

I probably oversimplified a little when I said DS6 was advanced academically. He does struggle with the physical act of writing, so he takes a long time for him to fill out worksheets and do writing assignments. He does much better with things that he can do in his head. I don't think that necessarily changes anything as far as the boredom factor goes.

I've heard of this happening a lot in California, so a lot of high school graduating classes are close to 20 instead of 17 or 18.

I had S1 repeat Pre-K. I did this because he was so speech delayed, he had only just learned to have a back and forth conversation with his peers in the first pre-K year. Plus he had a late birthday. So he was either going to be one of the youngest in his class or, in the decision we made, one of the older ones. I also did it in pre-K because the he went to a private pre-K the first year, and the state lottery funded pre-K the second year, so the curriculum and style were so significantly different, we didn't have an issue with boredom. If I'd have waited until first grade, though, I would not have done it.

He has an August birthday?? My son has a summer birthday and he was not school ready. In england they won't let you hold a child back, even though I really wanted him to be held back. In the US (where I'm from) it's more common - especially with August boys.

I would seriously consider holding him back. But not without talking to the school and explaining the academic and social issues and making a decision with the school. Your son won't be much older than the kids with Sept birthdays. I feel like my son has been disadvantaged by his summer birthday.

I can't speak for any of the parents as you know your child better than anyone. But one thing I would caution, if your child has low self-esteem already, you may make it worse by holding them back. I was held back in 1st grade, and it was a pretty devasting experience. Almost on par with loosing a parent. Just imagine that everyone at your job got a promotion except you. Then at the yearly company parties, they rub it in your face about how great it was or made fun of you because you didn't get promoted. Or maybe they simply kept asking why you didn't get promoted and you had to come up with an answer that wouldn't further embarrass, or erode what little self-esteem you had left by further making light of your inadequacies when trying to answer them. Now take it one step further and pretend that happened for the next 12 years in a row. That's what being held back felt like during grades 1-12. Seeing all my friends move forward, while I stayed behind had a lasting affect on me. I always felt that I could never measure up. I never felt I was ever good enough, always lagging one grade back. I always felt I was forever one step behind them. I still struggle with self esteem and self confidence issues to this day.



I'm not saying all children will go through what I went through if they are held back, but just be careful and make sure your child has a healthy self-esteem before you do decide to hold them back. When councelors or teachers say "your child is only 5, they'll forget and get over it. They're too young to know what's going on." Do not believe them. I'm 40 years old, and I remember it as if it was yesterday and I'm still not 100% over it.



Please, as a parent, if you take away anything from this post, do everything in your power to boost your childs self esteem at an early age. Because self-confidence is much harder to build when you're older. If I had a choice between having a child who was over-confident and cocky vs one who had no self esteem, I would choose the former. I cocky child can always pick themselves up when they fall and, they can always be humbled. A child who falls with no self esteem however, may not be able to pick themselves back up.

Promoting Self Esteem, and self confidence in your child is the greatest gift you can ever give them as a parent, so please be very careful and talk to them before you do decide to hold them back.

P.S: I was a November child.

Holding him back will set him up to be teased about it because he would be the oldest and kids would think he is stupid because he is too old to be in their grade.

I have a summer birthday so it was a catch 22. I could have been put in the third grade (I found out I never did kindergarten and 1st grade because of the program I was in) and be the youngest and get teased about that or be put in the second grade and be the oldest in my grade and I did get some flak about it from kids. Telling me I should be in the 4th grade when I was in the third grade because I was nine instead of eight. But yet there were other kids in my grade who were also nine but they have had a birthday during the school year while mine was in the summer. I just started saying I got held back because of the class I was in so it held me back and I should be in the higher grade but I'm not because of the classroom I was in when I was six and seven and that shut them up.