Transgender Aspergers Teen

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My trans son was not officially diagnosised asperbergers until 14 (even though I knew from age 7) because he did well in school and everyone thought he was just shy. He came out as trans at 15. I had the same worries; couldn't it just be the ASD? He didn't follow the "typical" trans route, I discovered along the way that many qualities I associated with ASD were also transgender. In my kids case, it was not just ASD he is a gay transgender male (wants same things as your kiddo in terms of surgery ect). It was a very tough road for me (see begining of this post lol) yet since he discovered this and has come out he is soooo much happier. For you you and dad, I reccomend a support group for transgender families; the one here helped us SO MUCH!! It sounds like you raised an awesome kid, it is so much easier to "go with the flow" than it is to be true to your self. Kudos to you and dad for raising such a kid! Listen to and trust your kiddo, educate yourself & good luck! PM me if I can help.

I would love to reply personally to the first poster on this post

I think this is true, too - although it also could be that people who are atypical in one way are more open to atypical expression in other ways.

I don't know that it matters, though - what matters is meeting the needs of the person you care about. I, myself, have some sort of atypicalness that hovers between AS/Bipolar and OCD. I prefer to refer to myself as having AS, because I believe the anxiety stuff is driven by the amount of stress AS causes me, but clinicallly in certain things it becomes kind of a chicken/egg thing.

I don't see any harm in being supportive of a child exploring who they are and who they want to be, in whatever form that takes (except, of course, things like self-harm or externalized violence)

My 13 year old daughter is going through a period of questioning her sexual orientation and gender identity at the moment. She currently identifies as pansexual and is unsure exactly where she will come to rest on these issues. She is yet to be diagnosed with AS (although we are presently making some progress in that respect, both for her and I). I also have a somewhat queer sexuality, although it is less of an issue for me as I don't see it as a big part of my identity and have no great need to label myself or identify with any particular group on that front. As far as I know, minority sexual identities and orientations are more common among the autistic population, although I have often wondered whether that might be due in part to greater willingness among autistics to be truthful about their feelings even if it meant being set apart from the group. I certainly believe that these things are far less binary than we are often led to believe. If my daughter were to come to me one day wanting to transition, my main aim as usual would be to support her happiness in whatever way I could. This would likely entail a period of questioning and seeking professional advice from someone with specialisms in issues around gender and asc prior to throwing my full support behind a permanent, and difficult, life changing decision.

This is awesome - I'm glad your daughter has you.

How in the world could anyone hate on you for this! Your thoughts are good ones! Sometimes kids have a simple misunderstanding whereas we adults either close to them or through the media (where kids are constantly bombarded with images) read far too much into it. Example: When my son first entered college, he wanted to come home every weekend - he was an hour away. I started thinking too hard and started to psychoanalyze it. I asked him, "Are you having anxiety? Is anyone bothering you?" He got mad and said, "I just want to come home to watch the high-school football games!! Jeezzz!! !!" He played football since he was 4. Kids are being told LOTS of things via the media - this can be VERY confusing for aspies way way more so than for NT's. Symptoms may be the same but the diagnosis is quite different. Some people are merely near-sighted and require glasses while others have a brain tumor and need surgery to remove a tumor affecting their sight. Also, many groups can become rather aggressive in claiming their own people - you can utter just a whisper and you hear,"One of us!! ! One of Us!! ! Join us!! There is power in numbers. WE have to stick together!!" A confused person can be easily convinced by those who know it all and have done it all.
Professional evaluations are best done by accredited physicians with years of experience - not by people on the Jerry Springer show. The last thing a child needs is to be "recruited" due to a set of symptoms. You've done only good here and no harm Soccer 22.