Aspergers and conversation skills?

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Id have been delighted a few years ago if they said he wasn't on the spectrum. My husband was very happy. But there's so many issues I found tge context of aspergers helpful. When I was told that he wasnt even borderline I was surprisingly disturbed by this and started to find the issues much harder to deal with.

I believe he is mildly autistic myself so don't find what this psych said comforting.

Anyhow going to put the whole label thing behind us for now and focus on intervention s (he's receiving OT and im on parenting course for anxious children so we are getting support despite tge no label thanks to our regular psych)

Interesting. I have some questions for you. Does confidence at least in this context mean using the trial and error method and not being afraid of obtaining a negative result.

Is this how people learn to live their lives in American society as they grow up including obtaining and keeping a job? Is this the primary mode of learning how people learn how real life and the real world works? Do they use the trial and error method of learning for their day to day lives?

Yes watching my son I realise how important it is to be able to figure things out and not be afraid to make a mistake. He won't do anything anymore as making mistakes makes him melt down, art , writing , computer games,sports. Everything s 'too hard' ..

Yes. Confidence here means you will attempt something even if there is a chance that you will do it poorly (or not up to your personal standard of quality).



I think the primary method for most NT people is observing how someone else does something and then copying those actions. Second would be asking how something is done, and following the description, (with good guessing for any bits you don't thoroughly understand). Third would be trial and error.

I agree with Zette. Little kids generally use a lot of trial and error though, especially if there is no one around doing what they want to do, and can't mimic. A more accurate description is probably that they start doing something through mimicry of something they saw or are seeing and then they branch out into trial and error. That is sort of a creativity aspect of play.

Another thing Ive noticed is how difficult he finds simple things like turning on the computer even. The other night he said that it really upset him that his younger brother could do things like tidying and he couldn't. (As brother had got a reward for some tidying).... he said there are ao many things to do he finds it very confusing... so I tidied his room with him and we broke it into little steps that he could do.
Also handed him a pack of chocolate bars yesterday and asked him to give each child in the group a bar. And looking tearful he said that would be too hard ... so I counted out bars , and put a childs name to each bar and he went off happy. He's good at maths in school so im not sure if this sort of thing is stress or something else... is it a typical issue kids with Asds would have or just immaturity?

^^ My son is just like this. He can't clean his room unless I break it down into steps. Pick up laundry. Put books on shelf. Etc. etc. etc. I think it's an executive functioning issue? (Sometimes I don't know the official terms!)

Yep, executive functioning is the term. Smart But Scattered is a great book about it.

Thanks ive done loads of reading on AS but never heard of that... again its somehow reassuring to put it in context. On its own it would break your heart.